Pucked Off (Pucked #5)(97)

The name Violet is familiar. I think Lance has mentioned her before.

“What kind of friends?”

This is an incredibly odd conversation to be having with women I automatically assume have had sex with Lance, because I don’t see him having a lot of female friends. This makes me want to rip their faces off—and that is a very non-me kind of reaction.

Boobs, or Violet, makes another face. It rivals one of April’s. “Not that kind of friend. I’m married.”

Violet holds out her left hand and nearly blinds me with the giant rock on her ring finger. Her nails are pretty and fancy. I can’t have long nails because of my job. They also can’t have polish on them. Hers are painted in Chicago’s colors.

She points to the girl beside her, Lily. “And this one is living with Balls.”

At my furrowed brow, Lily elaborates. “I’m Randy Ballistic’s girlfriend. We live together.”

“In his house,” Violet says. They both snicker.

“Am I supposed to understand what’s going on here?” I ask.

“Um, probably not. Sorry.” Lily looks apologetic.

“We’re here to stage an intervention,” Violet declares.

“I still don’t understand.”

“Me either.” April moves to stand beside me. She crosses her arms over her chest. She’s not very threatening, though. She’s too sweet looking, and gangly.

“To get you and Lance back together,” Lily explains. She looks at Violet. “Maybe this wasn’t a great idea. I think we just look like nutters right now.”

“It’s a fantastic idea,” Violet counters. “Lance is the reason Alex and I are married. Lance is part of the reason you and Nut Sac christen every bathroom in the greater Chicago area. It is our job to give Lance his happy ending.” Violet scrunches up her nose and makes a jerking-off motion. “But not that kind of happy ending. Well, maybe. Hopefully, actually.”

“Violet,” Lily hisses. “Sorry. We’re not crazy. Well, she is, but I’m not. Look, Lance is really sad, and we know it’s because he’s missing you. Randy says he moped around the entire time they were on the road, and he’s been moping around since he got back to Chicago last night. So we want to sort of help smooth things over.”

“Look, I appreciate you trying to help, but I need time to figure this out on my own.” This is so weird.

April coughs a word that sound a lot like liar.

“I don’t think we’re doing a very good job here, Lily. I knew we should’ve brought Sunny.”

“Sunny?” April asks.

“Sunshine, my sister-in-law. My stepbrother, Miller, knocked her up, so now she’s like my stepsister-in-law and my sister-in-law. It’s all very incesty soap opera. Except there’s no actual incest,” Violet explains.

“Is Sunshine a yoga instructor?” April asks.

“You know her?” Violet’s eyes light up.

“We took her class until she went on maternity leave. We miss her so much, don’t we, Poppy?” April nudges me.

“We do.” This is the most bizarre conversation ever. Talk about six degrees of separation.

“I’ll tell her that when I see her later. She’ll probably cry. She cries over almost everything right now. Yesterday Logan made spit bubbles, and she cried over the cuteness,” Violet says.

I’ve stopped speaking, because my brain can’t fit all these puzzle pieces together.

“Oh my God. What a small world! Did you know this?” April gives me an accusing glare.

“Yeah, I guess I did,” I say. There’s a little nugget of his outside life I did know about, I suppose. “Did he ask you to come here?”

“No. Oh, hell no. If he knew we were here he’d probably shit a pot of gold.” Violet shakes her head vigorously.

“He’s Scottish, not Irish, Vi.” Lily rolls her eyes.

I think I might like her despite all of this.

“Whatever. It’s the same part of the world. Just like Canada and the US are almost the same.”

Lily’s eyes nearly pop out of her head. She looks so horrified. “Not even fucking close.”

“You say eh and corner the market on all the real maple treats. We say hey and like the fake maple-flavored garbage, and you call mac and cheese something weird.”

“It’s KD, and that has nothing to do with you always mistaking Lance for Irish. That’s not the same as Scottish. Anyway, we have a purpose here.” Lily shoves her hand in Violet’s purse, rummages around, and produces an envelope. It’s bent at the corners. She flattens it and pulls out the contents. “We have two tickets to tonight’s game.”

“Really great seats right on center ice behind the bench,” Violet chimes in.

I take them from her. “Why are you giving these to me?”

“We want you to come,” Lily says.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I finger the tickets. The seats are incredible. They must cost a small fortune. “I haven’t spoken to Lance in a while.” And he’s never wanted me to come…

“Look, we know Lance’s reputation isn’t great, and it’s not all rumors making it that way, but he’s a good guy, and he’s, like, totally into you. He’s moping, and Lance doesn’t do the moping thing, like, ever.” Lily gives me an imploring look. “Violet and I both know how hard it can be to date one of these guys.”