Open House(59)

I shake my head, feeling sorry for him. “She’s lying,” I say. “I’m not an angel or anything, I drink a lot, probably too much, just like everybody else here. But I don’t do drugs.” I leave off the fact that Josie does.

Dean tips his head back, letting a breath escape.

“Don’t bother being embarrassed,” I say. “It’s not just you. She’s lied to me, too. A lot.”

I decide to sit next to him. It’s the least I can do. I know what it feels like to be on the other end of Josie’s mistruths. It makes me think back to the email I found today on her computer, the one she wrote to Noah. “I actually don’t know why she does half the stuff she does,” I say. “I think it’s just out of intense insecurity and past hurt, but it still sucks and seems to be escalating in terms of frequency. Or maybe I’m just starting to see it for what it is.”

“She told me about how hard it was growing up,” Dean says. “About her dad leaving and then her mom dying and having to live with her stepdad. She told me he was merciless.”

My heart feels heavy in my chest. “I should go find her,” I say.

“Let me first,” Dean says, standing. “It’s fine that she wants things to be over. It’s probably for the best.” He shrugs, considers me. “I’m going to say goodbye to her, let her know it’s all good. And thank you, by the way, for clearing it all up. I might have kept pursuing her if I really thought she was just trying to help you out of a tough time. But I don’t need someone who’s lying to me about why they don’t want to see me. Not to be cold or anything.”

I smile up at him. “Good luck,” I say, and I mean it.

“You coming with me?” he asks, but I shake my head.

“I think I’ll just take a minute out here,” I say. “It’s peaceful.”

He lifts his hand in a wave, and then turns to go. “Bye, Emma,” he says, and he leaves me sitting there all alone.





FORTY-NINE

Haley

At sunrise Haley went to the precinct.

“Your fiancé is here voluntarily,” Rappaport said when he met her at the front desk. “You know that, right?”

Haley wasn’t sure why he was telling her that or the significance of it. She was too tired, her mind too taxed. Rappaport led her down the hall to a room a little bigger than the one she’d been interviewed in yesterday, and when he opened the door, Haley saw Dean sitting at a table, his head down. When he looked up, his eyes were sunken, the gray shadows beneath them darker than she’d ever seen them. “Dean,” Haley said as she sat across from him, and everything that rushed through her felt nothing like she’d expected. She’d been so furious on the drive here, furious at him for carrying on with Josie in secret and lying to her, furious for something even bigger than Josie that she was sure he was keeping from her. But now, as she took in the sight of his face, she felt a wash of empathy and love she didn’t know was in there. The things she’d been planning to say to him felt meaningless now that she was here.

“I’m so sorry, Haley,” Dean said. “For all of this.” His palms rested awkwardly on the table, his fingers splayed. Rappaport had left them alone, and Haley wondered briefly if there were cameras in the room, not that it would change anything she said. She wanted to hear the truth, both about what happened to her sister and what happened to Josie. And however Dean was involved in either of those things, well, she needed to know that, too.

“Tell me what you’ve done,” Haley said, her voice a whisper.

Dean nodded. “I’ll tell you everything, I promise, and I should have told you before, and the only reason I didn’t was because I was terrified I would lose you, which I realize is what everyone who’s ever told a lie has probably said.”

Haley braced for the news of an affair, for the details of how and why he’d fallen for Josie, for whatever they’d done together. But when Dean opened his mouth, he said, “I was with your sister on the night she disappeared.”

Haley’s entire body went cold. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “You weren’t. You said you weren’t at the party.”

“I lied,” Dean said, his skin paling. “I lied back then because I was a stupid, selfish idiot, and I didn’t want to be in trouble for having been alone with her.”

“Why?” Haley shrieked at him, her voice echoing through the interview room. “Why would you ever lie about her?”

“It was so stupid,” Dean said. “And there’s nothing I can say to you that will ever make it okay, and I obviously didn’t hurt her, but I was alone with her that night, and I just didn’t want anything to do with whatever tragic thing had happened to her, and I rationalized not going to the cops because I hadn’t done anything wrong, and I didn’t know anything that could help, either.”

Haley put her head in her hands. The number of people who had kept things from the police, all in the name of believing they were innocent, or didn’t want to get in trouble for something they didn’t do . . .

“But then why did you lie to me all these years?” Haley asked.

“I lied to you when I met you because that night I came to find you at the bar I honestly just thought I’d see you once.”