One More Time(52)

“Did it occur to you that you might deserve this?” Walter says, calmly. Patronizingly. “And could you please stop pacing, you’re giving me motion sickness.”

“My fault? Are you kidding me?”

“Don’t give me that angry face,” he starts, “just hear me out. Ten years ago Tanner made what you now know was a ‘simple mistake’, and you walked away without letting him explain, true or false.”

“True,” I say, as my heart starts to beat a little slower and my stomach sinks a little further.

“And you were so angry because you thought he’d betrayed your trust, true or false.”

“You know the answer.”

“And he called and called and called, but you wouldn’t pick up, true or...”

I cut him off. “Thank you. I got the point.”

“And now you know that Tanner’s number one feeling after that whole charade was how could Jenna not trust me enough to know I wouldn’t hurt her like that? True or false?”

“This is different!” I insist, stomping. “We were young and stupid back then. And we were afraid. And we didn’t communicate. We’re adults now. We talk.”

“Which is why he knew exactly who I was when he saw you in bed with me.”

It takes me a second to respond because I don’t want to give Walter the benefit of being right, yet again. Finally I cave. “You might have a point.”

“Age doesn’t matter. Hurt is hurt,” Walter says.

“Have you ever considered being a therapist?”

“Absolutely not. Other people’s problems make me insane. Yours included.”

“Hey!”

“Bottom line. You have every right to be frustrated, but so does he. So now you’re getting a taste of your own medicine. What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. Keep calling?”

“Don’t look at me,” Walter says. “I don’t know what you’re supposed to do. This is your drama. Now I’m going to go shave so I can get out of here and figure out what I’m wearing once you’ve fixed it.”

Walter heads back into the bathroom. I throw on a robe and slump down on the bed. It is time for some robo-calling.

I dial Tanner over and over and over again. I text at least ten times, too.

Please come back. This is silly.

I can explain but I want to do it in person so you’ll really believe me.

Please, Tanner. Let’s not ruin this all over again.

He doesn’t respond. Karma’s a real bitch, I think to myself.

But I know better this time, and so does he. He’s just upset, but I will not – I repeat, not – let him get away.

“What are you going to do, honey?” Walter asks.

I know exactly what I have to do—reverse history. Maybe I ran away from Tanner last time, but he also didn’t try hard enough to win me back. He knows that now, and I’m not going to repeat the same mistake he made, at the very least. It is Grand Gesture time for this girl, even if that means ignoring the twisting and turning of my stomach…and mustering the courage to do a little ‘face talking.’

“I’m going to get my man back.” I take a deep breath and head for the bedroom door.

“Go get em girl! I’m proud of you,” Walter calls after me “But maybe take off your robe and put on some real clothes?”

“Uh. Yep. Good point.” I turn around and rush to the closet, grab the first item of red clothing I can find – a slip dress – and throw it on for a little added color confidence. Tanner always says red is my color. Here’s hoping it gives me the boost I need right now.

“Wish me luck,” I tell Walter, as I throw my hair in a bun, grab my bag and open the front door.





20





Tanner





I pace back and forth on the front lawn, trying to wrap my head around what the fuck just happened.

Jenna was in bed. With another man.

Fuck.

Fuck!

I’m too worked up to stay in one place. I don’t have a car, and I need space to think. I take off around the block to sort my head.

I’ve barely made it down a few houses when my phone buzzes with a call.

It’s her.

I can’t answer. I’m too mad. Too hurt. We just got back together and she already cheated on me! I silence the call.

She texts a minute later asking me to come back and talk.

Yeah, like how she came back and talked to me after she thought I cheated? Fuck that. She can sit with this until I get my thoughts straight.

I silence my phone altogether and shove it in my pocket. I’m an asshole for ignoring her, and an even bigger asshole for justifying my actions because she did it to me in the past, but my chest is aching, and I can barely breathe.

I love her. I was going to ask her to marry me!

Is this my fault for refusing to tell her I wanted to be with her for real? Because I said I wanted to take it day by day?

I could kick myself for that now. I was such a fucking idiot.

Or… oh God. There’s another possibility, and it’s the worst one of all. Did she make me fall for her all over again so that she could have the pleasure of breaking my heart this time?