One Last Time(24)

I’m being a nice guy, that’s all. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I still smell her shampoo in my nose, feel her skin against mine, and want to hear her laugh.

Kristin tucks her brown hair behind her ear and tilts her head. “Well, we’re not New York City, that’s for sure, but I love Whiskey Joe’s. It’s low-key, and since it’s off-season, you won’t get hounded.”

There’s nothing more appealing than the idea of privacy with Kristin, but I remember to keep myself in check since this is business. “Sounds great.”

“I haven’t been there in so long, I love the food and it’s right on the beach.”

Her excitement has me wishing we were already there. Dinner and a moonlit stroll on the beach with her might satisfy my need to be around her. I want to know what it is about her that has me twisted inside.

“Why haven’t you gone?”

She turns her head to look at me with a sad smile. “Life.”

I get it more than she knows. Some of my favorite things I’ve quit doing because my days are reading lines, traveling, press bullshit, and personal trainers. The last few months have been the first chance I’ve gotten to take any time to do things I enjoy. “Life can sure get in the way.”

“Life can be a bitch.”

I laugh. “Yeah . . . it can.”

She releases a heavy sigh, and I can almost feel the weight on her shoulders. I remember the way my mother would do the same. “Tell me more about your kids,” I prompt.

Kristin instantly perks up and smiles. “Well, Finn is difficult, but he’s my spirit animal. I swear, that kid is so much like me it’s a little scary.”

“Scary? From what I know, you’re pretty awesome.”

“Oh, yeah!” Kristin giggles. “I’m a whole lot of awesome when I’m drunk or passed out. Life goals right there.”

I want to reach over and take her hand because, even in her laughter, I hear the pain. There’s something inside me that wants to comfort her, but I don’t. I have to keep my lines clear. “We all need to relax a little.”

“I clearly need to find a way to balance that.”

I shake my head. “One night of letting go doesn’t make you reckless. So, what does Finn like to do?”

She shrugs and turns herself a little to face me. “Finn is very mechanical. I watch him take things apart and put them back together. He’s definitely a literal kind of person, who thinks directions are meant to be followed. Aubrey is a free spirit. That girl is going to be big trouble when she’s older.”

As she speaks, I think about the fact that I have none of these things. Money, fame, and nice things aren’t fulfilling. Once upon a time, I wanted a life like hers. Kids and a family were the only things on my mind, but that evaporated quickly. If only things hadn’t happened the way they did that night.

My heart begins to pound so hard in my chest I swear I could bruise. It’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself a moment to think about her.

Think about all the plans we had and how they were torn away.

“Noah?” Kristin touches my arm. “Are you all right?”

“Sorry,” I say quickly. “You were telling me about Aubrey?” I think that’s her name.

Kristin’s hand drops, and I feel the loss. Fuck. What is it with this girl? It can’t just be that she’s gorgeous. I’ve seen plenty of hot chicks and have been fine. If I could place it, I could figure out how to deal with it.

“We don’t have to talk about my kids,” she offers.

“I’m not complaining. If you’d rather talk about something else . . .”

“I don’t want to bore you.”

The thing is, I never get to do this anymore. Normal conversations don’t exist in my world. People are either asking me a million questions or trying to get something from me. “I have a feeling I’ll do a lot of talking about myself once we get our date going.”

“Working. Dinner.” Kristin glances at me with the mom look.

“Sure. Our working dinner.” My voice is patronizing. “How about you tell me about Heather and your friends? Eli’s stories are . . . entertaining.”

Kristin bursts out with laughter. “Oh, I can only imagine! My friends are definitely interesting.”

She fills me in on how they met in high school and the way they’ve kept their friendship intact through the years. It’s insane to me that they’ve been able to keep in touch the way they have. My best friend from high school only hits me up when he wants cash.

“You’re closest with Heather, though?” I question because their dynamic baffles me.

“Umm.” She bites her thumbnail. “I don’t know how to answer that. We’re all close in different ways. Heather and Nicole are really close and Danielle has been my person mostly. Since my separation, it’s weird . . .”

“Why?”

Why the fuck do I care so damn much?

“Danielle and her husband have been having issues for a while. If I had to guess, it scares her that Scott and I couldn’t find a way. Then her husband and my . . . well, ex-husband-to-be are close friends. It’s put a strain on our friendship a little.”

Scott. Even his name is stupid. He’s clearly a fucking moron for letting her go or saying she was anything but beautiful. I shouldn’t ask her, but I’m dying to know. “Why did you guys . . . end things?”