One Last Time(21)

“For work,” I clarify again.

“Sure, sweetheart. Work it is.”

I may have just fallen in love with my job.





Chapter Eight





Kristin





“Yes, Mom, I know.” I try to contain my frustration as I tidy the house. She’s been yammering in my ear for the last ten minutes about how hard it is to maintain a marriage.

“Then you should know that a divorce is ten times harder,” she admonishes.

I understand that my parents have the marriage of the century, but my father is a unicorn. He loves my mother so much that it’s almost painful to be around. I tried to pretend that I had even a sliver of that, but I didn’t.

“You know what’s really hard? Being with a man who puts me down all the time. Loving someone who doesn’t love me back. More than anything, it’s hard when I know I can’t fix it because I’m never going to be good enough.” I pull in a heavy breath and fight back any tears.

“Oh, Kris.”

“I need you on my side, Mom.”

“I’m always on your side. Always. I just don’t want to see you do something rash.” Her voice cracks.

My mother and father have been there for me every step of the way. They are the kind of parents who should’ve had twenty kids instead of only me. There is no woman in the world who deserved to be a mom more than mine, but she couldn’t. She almost died having me, and Daddy refused to try again no matter how much she begged. I know she wants what’s best for me, but now that I’ve had time away from Scott, I see how bad it was.

“It’s not rash. It’s been a long time coming, and honestly . . .” I sigh as I plop onto my bed. “I should’ve left years ago.”

Mom goes quiet and then clears her throat. “I should’ve done more earlier.”

“What?”

“I kept making excuses for the things he said.” Her tone is dejected. “I would tell your father how much I worried, but then I would rationalize it away.”

“I did the same thing,” I admit. For years, I would find one reason or another to allow his behavior to continue. Then, after a while, I accepted it as normal and what I was worth.

It wasn’t until Nicole made a comment about a year ago that I finally took notice of how wrong things really were. She asked me about what I would have said if it were Aubrey who was married to a man like Scott.

For the first time, I saw it from an outsider’s eyes.

And I didn’t like a damn thing about it.

“I’m sorry, Kris,” my mother says.

“It’s Scott who needs to apologize . . . not you.”

We talk a little more about my job and how my first weekend has been without the kids home. I miss them terribly. Being in my home without them is weird, and I keep listening for Aubrey’s sweet laughter or Finn yelling at the video game.

“I want you to know how much admiration I have for you,” she says after I tell her I need to get ready for tonight.

“Why?”

“Because you’re doing something about your life. You could’ve taken the easy road and stayed with him, but you chose yourself and your kids, and I’m proud of you.” Her words mean more to me than she’ll ever know.

This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Some days, I’m not sure I’ll survive, but I haven’t died yet.

“Thank you, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

After not finding anything in my closet and unpacking two more boxes, I finally settle on a turquoise slip dress. I haven’t worn this in forever, but thankfully, it fits perfectly. My hair is smooth, hanging past my shoulder blades, and has enough Marula oil in it to keep it controlled without it looking heavy.

Considering the freak show I looked like when I left Heather’s, anything is an improvement.

I grab my phone to call Aubrey and see a text.

Heather: I gave Noah your address since he said you were meeting but didn’t know where you lived . . .





* * *



Me: Oh!





* * *



Heather: A date? Are you sure you’re ready for this?





* * *



Me: It’s not a date. It’s work.





She’s never going to buy this.

Heather: I’m not judging if it is. I worry about you, that’s all. Just promise me you won’t drink yourself stupid so you can say more than one word.





I need new friends.

Me: Have I told you lately that I hate you?





* * *



Heather: Yup. Just making sure it was still the same. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.





* * *



Me: You’re telling me to sleep with him?





* * *



Heather: No! I guess I’m not the pillar of good choices anymore.





* * *



Me: Nicole. I blame Nicole.





I smile and put my phone down. Now that I know he’s coming here, I start to panic a little.