Not Perfect(55)

Tabitha started to cry. She didn’t mean to. She meant to be strong. But she kept thinking about how she was going to get Fern out the door, and for some reason that made her feel helpless.

“Okay,” Tabitha said. “Thank you. I know you’re right.”

“Hey, is there anyone here to help you?” Holly asked. The fact that she didn’t ask about Stuart made Tabitha think that people might be talking. People must have noticed he hadn’t been around at all.

“No, not really,” Tabitha said. “But I’ll figure it out.”

“I can call ahead for you,” Holly said. “It might not help too much, but it can’t hurt.”

Tabitha nodded, she couldn’t stop crying.

“Is there . . . something else going on?” Holly asked.

“No . . . yes . . . no,” Tabitha said. “I’ve just put this off so long, I feel terrible. I just kept hoping it would get better and it hasn’t and I could have probably avoided this situation.”

“We all do that. Did you know that the time Evie broke that bone in her foot we kept telling her it was fine? She had to limp around for two days, and someone had to suggest we get it looked at—and we’re both doctors! We all want it to be not so bad, and usually it isn’t, but sometimes you do need help.”

Tabitha was crying harder now. She wondered if she had ever cried this hard in her entire life. Probably, when she was a baby. That’s what it felt like. She didn’t want the kids to know. She had to get control. She took deep breaths, but it didn’t help.

“I can help you get her there,” Holly said. “Let me just call Mitch and make sure he and Evie are okay.”

“No! Really! I can do this,” Tabitha said. “I think they might actually have a building wheelchair. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before. Let me call the doorman.”

“Mom!” Levi called from the other room. “What are we doing?”

“We’re going,” Tabitha called back, but her voice cracked, and it sent her into another bought of crying. Her eyes hurt. To Holly she said, “I am so sorry. I am just really, really sorry.”

“Let me go get the wheelchair,” Holly offered. Tabitha was tempted to let her, but she didn’t want to use up all her goodwill. She might need her again, and more than that, she liked the idea of her being a friend.

“No, really, thank you so much for coming,” Tabitha said. “You made me feel . . . not so alone.”

“Okay, I’ll get going, but please don’t hesitate to call if you need me,” Holly said. “And please let me know what they say about Fern. I’ll call as soon as I leave to let them know you’re coming. Call your pediatrician—or at least the on-call number—and let them know, too. The insurance companies sometimes want the okay from the pediatrician. I don’t know you that well, but I have a feeling there are things you aren’t telling me. I wish I could help more, but if I could just offer you a tiny bit of wisdom that I tell myself over and over again when I’m struggling with something—it’s that most things that seem terrible at the time rarely stay terrible. Of course, there are exceptions to that, but I hope in your case it will be true, with Fern’s knee and whatever else is going on.”

Tabitha took another series of deep breaths and touched Holly on the forearm.

“Thank you,” she said. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this.”



When Holly left, Tabitha called down to the front desk. She was elated, if that was possible at a time like this, when Mort answered. He was filling in because Robert called in sick. Tabitha didn’t much like Robert, he never would have done anything extra. But Mort? Thank goodness for Mort. Yes, they did have a wheelchair, which he brought up, along with two cherry Blow Pops which he gave to Fern. Tabitha thought for a minute that he had nothing for Levi but he did, a Snickers bar. Just having Mort around perked Fern up a bit; he was her favorite, and she wanted him to wheel her out. He had a cab waiting, and he helped them get in, instructing Tabitha to wait in the car with Fern while Levi ran in for a wheelchair when they arrived. He gave Levi the thumbs-up, as if to say, “You can handle this, man,” and Levi gave him the thumbs-up back. They took the short ride over the South Street Bridge. Levi quickly and easily got a wheelchair when they arrived, and the cab driver said the fare had been paid for. Tabitha would have to remember to write Mort on her list when she got home.

The hospital was expecting them, and despite the crowded waiting room, Fern was triaged quickly, and then they were taken back to a small private room. There was a television, two chairs, and they were asked if they needed anything. Tabitha thought of the man at The Family Meal who said that he considered a trip to the emergency room for the sole purpose of getting a meal.

“I wondered,” Tabitha began hesitantly. “Are there any snacks or anything I can give to Fern’s brother? With all the commotion, he hasn’t eaten.”

“Sure,” the nurse said. “We have turkey sandwiches. Would you like one, too?”

“That would be great,” Tabitha said.

“Unfortunately, the little lady will have to hold off until we do some tests,” the nurse said.

Tabitha felt bad about that, but accepted the sandwiches, which were in plastic baggies, along with small cans of ginger ale and packets of graham crackers.