Not My Match (The Game Changers, #2)(84)

She smiles and pats my hands. “Of course. I don’t have the okay yet, but I feel confident I will tonight after I talk to him and tell him you’re on board. I’ll text you what he says; then we can meet at my office later and work out the finer details. Sound good?”

I picture Devon in his yellow-and-blue jersey, taking the field and looking up to the stands for me. And I won’t be there. Dread washes over me.

“Giselle? Are you sure this is what you want? He’s already had one cancellation, and I don’t want to disappoint him.”

Right, he’s her friend and colleague, and she’s gone out of her way to work this for me.

“Are things serious with you and Devon? I thought your mom said you’d only been dating a short time, but . . .” She trails off, waiting on me to reply.

Are we serious?

He hasn’t said, but my gut feels what he can’t say, and I know that leaving right now would not be good. Nausea bubbles in my stomach.

“I don’t know” is what I settle for, and she nods.

“I was in a similar situation at Harvard.” She half grimaces. “He left for Caltech, and I went to CERN. Leaving him was the hardest thing I ever did.”

“You couldn’t make it work long distance?”

She shakes her head. “We tried at first, but eventually work took over, and we drifted apart. He’s married now with kids.” A sad laugh comes from her. “She’s a physicist as well, and I ran into them at a conference last year. Talk about awkward. I barely made it back to my room before I cried.”

My heart dips. “That’s terrible. Do you still have feelings for him?” It helps to talk to her; it gives me time to think through my muddled mind.

A sad smile graces her face. “Sometimes I think I made a mistake, you know, but then if it was meant to be, then . . . well, he wouldn’t have married her, and we would have ended up together somehow. Silly, right? To believe in fate?”

“No, it isn’t,” I assure her and describe how Jack and Elena met, a mistaken blind date, then how he showed up to be Romeo to her Juliet. “There’s an ancient Chinese myth that says if two people are destined to be together, then no matter how long it takes, their paths will continue to cross and intertwine. They believe there’s an invisible red thread that ties destined couples. The thread may knot or tangle but will never break.”

She sighs. “Ah, that sounds very romantic. I guess he wasn’t my thread.” She pauses. “Will your and Devon’s thread break if you go to CERN?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper, a niggling sense of doom tugging at me.

She gives me an unsure look, then nods and tells me goodbye and leaves. I watch her drive away, my throat dry.

Devon comes out the door. “Hey, you were gone for a while. Everything okay?”

I start, a long breath coming out of me as Devon laces his fingers through mine. Trepidation sneaks over me, thick and vicious. I can’t leave him. Right?

“Was she weird about your book?”

“No, not at all,” I manage to say. “She’s no Dr. Blanton.”

“Good.” He smiles. “So why do you look like someone just stepped on Cindy and her babies?”

Unease swirls in my gut. “Dev . . . I . . .”

“What is it, baby?”

I swallow down the words hanging in my throat. I can’t say them. “I want to go home.” It’s the truth.

He stands and holds me, rubbing his hands down my back, and I cling to him. “Me too,” he murmurs, his lips pressing a kiss to my neck. I arch closer, needing the reassurance of us.

My heart is already breaking. My body already misses him, picturing nights without him next to me, his leg thrown over mine, his arm curled around my waist as we lie under the stars.

We can do this together. We can.

I just have to tell him.





Chapter 26

GISELLE

I was going to tell him on the way home. I really was, saying the words in my head over and over: Devon, my dream of going to CERN is here. Will you wait for me?

Preston never minded the possibility of CERN, or perhaps he never believed I’d go, or more than likely he just planned on screwing around on me while I was gone.

I’ve made so many stupid mistakes over the past eighteen months—picking a terrible advisor, choosing Preston over my sister—and I can’t make another wrong move, not when it involves my future. I have to be sensible and pick what matters the most without involving my feelings. I don’t know where Devon and I are going. How can I? He doesn’t tell me—and it’s too soon to ask.

But you know the words he doesn’t say, a voice reminds me.

I have to tell him.

But I don’t, and desperation is a thorny vine around me as he drives the Maserati to the door of the Breton. My chest is cracking open as we walk into the lobby and get on the elevator, my insecurities bubbling to the surface, exposing themselves in capital letters in my head, doubts about our status as a long-term couple, misgivings about his abandonment issues, worries about a virile man who’s faced with sexual advances from beautiful women every day. They chase Devon, give unwanted kisses and hotel keys. If I’m not here one day, one night, maybe he’d give in. And our red thread would be irreparable.