Not Broken: The Happily Ever After(63)

I forced myself to stand, freed Shawn from his high chair, and hugged him. He returned my hug briefly before pushing against me, wanting to get down.

∞∞∞

After Macy left, I spent the next few hours trying to work up the nerve to call Mal. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid. I hadn’t been thinking clearly at all last night. I sat in the rocking chair in Shawn’s room, watching him play. Deciding I could no longer put it off, I picked up my phone and dialed his number.

He answered on the second ring. “Hey, I was just getting ready to call you.”

“Oh...yeah? I would have called earlier but Macy was over.”

“Missing me already huh?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

“That sounds real convincing.” His voice got muffled.

“Did I catch you at a bad time? Sounds like you’re eating.”

“Nope, I’m good. I can multitask.”

I looked over at Shawn, who started banging his cars together. Mustering up the strength to be a good mom to him had been a struggle some days. Things were better, but adding another life into the mix...

Malcolm’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Baby, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re thinking.”

“Condoms.”

“Um, penis.”

I laughed at his comment. “What?”

“I don’t know. Thought it was a word association game.”

I laughed again, then paused. It was now or never. “I...I’m not on birth control.”

Silence on his end. I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me.

“Shit.”

“Yeah. I didn’t stop to let you—”

“I don’t have any. Haven’t had a reason to buy them.”

“Oh.”

We both settled into silence. The only sounds came from Shawn, who kept bringing me toys to play with. I needed Mal to speak first, to say whatever it was that he was thinking about this situation. That unnerving feeling settled into my stomach the longer neither of us spoke.

“Well…” he started then stopped. “What about that pill? The morning after deal?”

Unsolicited memories of the first time Seth ever got angry at me popped into my head. I’d been stupid then too for not stopping him. With the way he’d been in control that night, who was to say any objection I might have raised would have been listened to. But it was the unexpected anger that I’d faced after I told him I’d taken the Plan B that haunted my thoughts now.

“Ginger, baby? You okay?”

I nodded even though he couldn’t see me, and tried to push those thoughts back in the dungeon of my mind where they belonged. “Yeah...I...um...is that what you want me to do?”

He let out a heavy breath. “Shit. I don’t know. I mean, this falls under that whole your body, your choice deal, right? I’m just sayin’, would a baby right now, with the way we are be seriously bad timing? Yeah, probably. But…”

“But what?”

“But…” he paused again. “First, tell me what your first thoughts were when you realized we’d not used protection?”

Shawn climbed up into my lap, giving me a book to read.

“In a second, buddy. I was worried you’d be mad at me.”

“Ginger. Baby. Come on now. We did this. So no, I would not and am not mad at you at all. I’m as much to blame here. Two to tango, right?”

Shawn fussed, insisting I read to him. Instead, I absentmindedly flipped through the pages. “I’ll run out and pick up the pill.”

There was brief silence. “Okay.”

Okay? Just Okay? He said he wasn’t mad, but something in his answer and tone didn’t ring true to him not being upset.

“I have to go. He’s wanting my undivided attention.”

“All right. Call me later. If you want.”

“Okay.”





Chapter 35


Calida





I was surprised to see Dorian when she entered the kitchen in the morning as I was cleaning up after breakfast.

“Thought you liked to sleep in on the weekends.”

“Good morning to you, too.” She walked over to her espresso machine and started fixing herself a cup of coffee. She’d brought that contraption back with her after her trip to North Carolina. It was one of the many wedding gifts she’d fought Daniel over simply because she knew he really wanted them.

Shawn walked over from his play area, and reached his arms up so she could hold him. She picked him up and gave him a brief hug before putting him down again. He started to fuss.

“Give me a sec, kid. This machine requires two hands.”

I grabbed one of his juice cups from the drying rack and filled it with water then picked him up to take him back to his toys.

“So, why are you up early?” I called over my shoulder.

“Mom wanted to go shopping, and you know Dad breaks out in hives at the idea.”

I laughed and nodded my agreement to that statement. I cleared a spot on the floor to sit and watch Shawn as he played. “Where you guys headed?”

She walked over with her tiny cup of coffee and curled up on the couch. “Not sure. Maybe a few furniture stores since I need stuff for the new place.”