Not Broken: The Happily Ever After(112)

“For what?”

She shrugged and held on tighter. “Getting mad. Overreacting. Doubting you. Just being a generally emotional nut case.”

I ran my hand up and down her back. “Hey, now, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about.”

“You have crappy taste in women.”

“I’m insulted. I have excellent taste in women.”

We stood, not saying anything else. Her fingers played with my dreads and she showed no signs of pulling away.

“Do you forgive me?”

“For what?”

“Overreacting.”

“Baby, there’s nothing to forgive. I said something that upset you, and you reacted accordingly. I’m happy you came back to let me explain.”

She finally pulled away. Those beautiful green eyes of hers looked up at me. “That upset you.”

“Hell yeah, it did. I mean, you’re free to come and go, but it was the reason you wanted to go. I had to talk myself out of running after you and throwing myself on the hood of your car or something.”

A bright, carefree smile lit up her face. “That would have given the neighbors something to talk about.”

“Well, if the ones across the street were awake last night, we already gave them plenty to talk about.”

She giggled then put her hands on my shoulders and stretched up on her tiptoes to kiss me. “I love you,” she whispered against my lips.

“I know, baby. I love you too.”

“This relationship is very uneven.”

“How so?”

“I come with a cargo hold worth of baggage and you barely have a carryon. I wouldn’t blame you if you’d had second thoughts.”

“Never. Ginger, baby, you’re it for me. Even with all your so-called baggage.”

“Even when I flake out?”

“Not gonna lie, I hope we’ll get to a point when running isn’t your first reaction. Especially since I already thought we had.”

She stepped back and started to speak, but stopped. She looked up at me before turning and walking away. She took a seat at the end of the sofa, and chewed on her thumbnail. Her leg seemed to bounce a mile a minute. I walked over and took a seat on the coffee table.

“I’m sorry. I...I just…”

“That statement wasn’t meant to make you feel bad. We are navigating this, figuring it out as we go. Emphasis on the we.”

She looked at me and gave a sad smile. “I don’t always know how to handle this.”

I reached over for her hands. “Handle what?”

“This. You. Us. I...um...don’t have the best track record. Things, relationships. You’re good to me, Malcolm. I’m happy with you, and I guess you could say that scares me.”

“Why?”

She weaved her fingers between mine. She gave a quick glance at me before looking down at our intertwined hands. “Expectations of being hurt,” she quietly answered. “I don’t have enough pieces left to put my heart back together if it’s broken again.”

Letting those words sink in, I moved to sit beside her. Their meaning, their honesty, affected me. I tried everything I could to take some of her burden away, but it wasn’t enough. I pulled my hand free, to use both to hold her face. Leaning forward, I kissed her right cheek, then her left, and finally made my way to her lips. I kissed her soft and slow, wanting the connection to convey my love, but more importantly my appreciation of her. My lips moved atop hers, cherishing her as she deserved.

“That’s not something you have to worry about. Til death do we part. I want to be the last man for you.”

“We’re not married.”

I shrugged. “Details, details. Not being married doesn’t change a damn thing for me.” I took her hand and put it over my chest. “You feel that? It beats for you, because it belongs to you. If you leave, if you ever wanted to end this, you’d be taking it with you. It won’t be of use to anyone else, because I don’t want anyone else.”

Ginger closed her hand into a fist then opened it again in slow motion. The tips of her fingers brushed against my flesh as she repeated the motion three more times before pulling her hand away.

“I want to get to a point where I don’t flake out. Where the little things are just that, instead of the bigger deal I make them into. And I thought I was. I want to be. You deserve to have a girlfriend that’s not so erratic.”

“Hey. It’s not a big deal. Like I said, we’re navigating this together. So, you flake out, as you call it. I don’t care as long as you do what you did. Stay and work through it. ‘Cuz let me tell ya, I can’t guarantee that more stupid shit won’t come out of my mouth. And when that happens, cuss at me, throw shit at my head, slam doors, whatever. Just don’t leave.”

Ginger moved, sliding into my lap. I sat back to accommodate her.

“I'm sorry for that.”

“Baby, stop apologizing. I'm just glad you came back. I was getting ready to come after you when you walked back in.”

“You were?”

“Hell yeah. You took off with my heart. I kinda need it to live.”

I slipped my hand under her shirt and ran my fingers up and down her back. She rested her head on my shoulder and placed light kisses on the side of my neck.