Not Broken: The Happily Ever After(109)

“Then I got you covered. Oh, by the way, your parents called.”

“Okay, what time are they bringing Shawn home?”

“Tomorrow,” he answered with a short laugh. “When I told them you were still sleeping, your mom said they’d let you rest.”

“I’m sure them keeping him is strictly for my benefit.”

I closed my eyes, enjoying the soft strokes of his fingers on my arm.

“I bet you and Macy could do that.”

“Do what?”

“This flipping thing.”

I opened my eyes to see what he was talking about. One of the house flipping shows was currently on. “I have no idea how to do construction, and Macy doesn’t like getting her hands dirty.”

“Right, but the design stuff. These people have a crew.”

“Are you trying to get me to work so I stop being a freeloader?”

“What? No. You just have an eye for that sort of thing. Look at what you did to this place. And I like you being a freeloader. Means I can have you pay your rent in sexual favors.”

“Or I could just pay off the mortgage, and you can pay me back in sexual favors.”

I expected some flirty comeback, but I got silence. Mal stopped stroking my arm and said nothing for at least a good thirty seconds.

He sat up and pulled away from me. “I know you’re just messing around, but I don’t want that to be a real thing.”

“Oh, so you can charge me that way, but I can’t do the same? Double standards much?”

He didn’t return the smile I gave. In fact, the look on his face was anything but playful.

“The mortgage.”

“Oh. Why not? I mean, isn’t that what people look forward to doing, paying off their house and owning it outright. Why wouldn’t you want that?”

“I don’t want you doing it.”

I sat back against the sofa and folded my arms across my chest. “And why not?”

Malcolm pinched the bridge of his nose and took a long inhale. “Because,” he began slowly. “I would rather do it myself.”

It was my turn to take a slow breath. That familiar unsettling knot began to form in the pit of my stomach. “So, all that talk about this place being for us was just that? Talk? What you really want is to have some sort of way to lord it over my head that this is yours.”

“What the hell are you talking about? No. I told you day of closing you could go on the title, and that can be done at any moment, just say the word.”

“Then explain to me why, if we have the means to own it, I’m apparently not allowed to take care of it.”

“Because he’s tainted enough, and I don’t want anything from that bastard associated with my house.”

I drew in a sharp inhale and pressed my lips together. Uncurling my legs, I got up from the couch, and picked up the dishes. The pain in my head magnified tenfold, but it didn’t compare to the pain in my chest. He’s tainted enough. Meaning me. Malcolm thought of me as tainted. I was associated with Seth, always would be; he’d branded me for fuck’s sake. And Shawn. Shawn looked just like his father, no amount of pretending could change that fact. My sweet, innocent boy, tainted by his conception. Malcolm knew. He had to know. Everything, all of it an act.

Malcolm didn’t want us here.

Hands wrapped around my arms. I looked up to see Malcolm, his features drawn.

“Let go.” I yanked free. “Don’t...don’t touch me. I’d hate to taint anything.”

“Shit, Ginger, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

I pushed past him, rubbing my chest. Hoping I could massage away the constricted feeling that kept tightening within.

“Ginger. Calida. Stop.” He grabbed my wrist, preventing me from leaving. “Stop running and just let me explain.”

I shook my head as I tried to wrestle my arm free, but Malcolm’s grip was ironclad. “There’s nothing to explain. Now, let me go so I can get dressed and free you of my tainted existence.”

“Stop overreacting for just a damn minute please.”

I kept shaking my head. The tears burned in the backs of my eyes, but I refused to cry. I was tired of crying, of being hurt by the words from those that claimed to love me. I should have known better. This was my fault for thinking things could be different. Thinking I could be happy—that I deserved to be happy—had been the biggest lie I’d told myself. I was tainted. I knew it. Malcolm knew it. All of this…Why? Why did he do this? Why did I believe it? I choked on the sob caught in my throat.

I didn't look at him. I couldn’t. Instead, I focused on his hand still firmly wrapped around my wrist.

“Please let me go.” My voice sounded weak, and I hated it.

“Are you going to let me explain?”

“It’s not like I have much of a choice.”

Malcolm released his hold. I immediately brought my arm to my chest, and rubbed the spot he’d held.

“You always have a choice.”

I could hear the sorrow in his tone, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I couldn’t face the absence that would be in his eyes. I could feel the remaining shards of my heart splintering, and if I looked at him, I feared I’d cease to be. My gaze remained on my wrist as I continued to rub away the discomfort.