Night Road(68)

Lexi sighed. They were talking about the law and her future. That wasn’t really the point at all, but they were trying so hard to save her. She didn’t want to disappoint them, too. Especially not Eva. “Okay.”

*

Jude sat in the courtroom between her husband and her son. Zach sat perfectly upright, as she’d often begged him to do. Gone was the slouching, playful kid he’d been. Now he pulled his pants up and wore a belt and cleaned his room without being asked. She knew why, too: he was trying so hard to make her happy. He lived in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing around her, of making her cry. Especially here, in front of everyone they knew.

The benches in the courtroom filled up quickly. As soon as word had gotten out about Lexi’s arrest and arraignment, admittance to this courtroom had become the hottest ticket in town. People had lined up before dawn in the hopes that they would get a seat. Everyone had an opinion on the case: some thought Lexi was a victim; others deemed her a danger to society. Some blamed Jude and Miles for lackluster supervision and bad parenting; these were the parents who swore their own children didn’t drink. A few whack jobs even blamed the drinking age, saying that if it were eighteen, things like this wouldn’t happen.

Local reporters, and perhaps one or two national journalists, milled through the hallway outside. Jude didn’t look around, didn’t want to see the friends she’d made over her years here on Pine Island, the women she’d talked to during class parties or in the carpool lane or in the checkout line at Safeway. Many of them called her regularly, and she took the calls, but they rarely lasted long. Jude simply couldn’t think of what to say anymore. Neither did she care about representatives of MADD, who had conducted a press conference just this morning and were demanding prison time for Lexi.

Lexi.

Just the name was enough to send Jude spiraling into anger or despair. She did her best never to think about the girl who’d caused all of this, who’d killed her daughter. The girl her son had loved. The girl she’d loved.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” her mother said, taking a seat on Zach’s other side.

The judge cracked his gravel down and called for order.

The gallery quieted.

“Ms. Baill,” the judge said, “you are aware of the crimes with which you have been charged?”

At the defendant’s table, Lexi and her lawyer stood. She looked incredibly fragile and small standing there. Her hair was unkempt and frizzy, out of control. Her cheap black pants needed ironing and were a little too short.

“I am, Your Honor,” Lexi said.

“And on the charge of DUI vehicular homicide, how do you plead?”

Lexi paused. “Guilty, Your Honor.”

There was a moment of stunned surprise in the courtroom and then pandemonium broke out. Both attorneys jumped to their feet, yelling over each other to be heard.

“In my chambers,” the judge said harshly. “Now. You, too, Ms. Baill.”

Lexi followed her attorney out of the courtroom. In their wake, the gallery started whispering furiously among themselves.

Zach turned to Jude. “I don’t get it. What’s she doing?”

Jude sat very still, breathing as best she could, trying to feel nothing. This was some kind of ruse, a way to garner sympathy. She couldn’t have answered Zach if she had known what to say. Finally, the lawyers filed back into the courtroom. The crowd quieted.

The judge sat down and looked at Lexi. “And on the charge of vehicular assault?”

“Guilty, Your Honor,” Lexi said.

The judge nodded. “Ms. Baill, it is my duty to remind you that you have the right to a trial in this case, to have your actions judged by a jury of your peers. You understand that by pleading guilty, you are relinquishing this right?”

“I do, Your Honor.”

“And you understand that a guilty plea means that you will be convicted of this crime without a trial and that you may be subject to immediate sentencing?”

“I do, Your Honor,” she said again, stronger this time.

“Although it is unusual, given the terrible consequences of this case on the community, this court is prepared to put this matter to rest. Ms. Baill, do you have a statement you’d like to make?”

Lexi nodded briefly and rose. “I do, Your Honor.”

“You may go to the podium,” he directed.

Lexi walked over to the podium and looked out over the gallery. Her gaze went to Zach. “I drank, and I drove, and I killed my best friend. My lawyer tells me that guilt or innocence is a question of law, but he’s wrong. How can I atone? That’s the real question. I can’t. I can’t. I can only pay for it and say how deeply, deeply sorry I am. I love … Zach and the Farradays and Mia. I will always love them, and I pray that someday they will hear those words from me and not be hurt by them. Thank you.” She returned to her place at the defendant’s table and sat down.

The judge looked down at some papers spread in front of him. “I have an amicus brief from Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, asking for a sentence that will make an example of Ms. Baill and let other teens know what they could face in similar circumstances. And now, to the family.” He looked up and smiled gently. “I know it’s unexpected, but would any of you like to make a statement to this court?”

Miles looked at Jude. The prosecuting attorney had told them they’d be allowed to speak after the trial, so they’d thought about what they’d say, but it wasn’t supposed to happen until weeks from now.