Nate(86)

I rested my cheek back against Nova’s head. She was in a cuddly mood this morning.

Everything was golden and rainbows today.

It was going to be a great day.

I told him, “We have rehearsals all day today.” I wrapped my arms tighter around Nova and began rocking back and forth.

I could’ve held her all day.

I didn’t want to go in today.

I didn’t want to let her go.

“I was thinking we could do lunch today? Could you get time off to meet with me?”

My heart skipped a beat. “You’d do that?”

But why wouldn’t he? He’d already done so much for me. The hotel. Fighting for me. Why was I surprised?

Because you’re basking in happiness, and you know it won’t last.

No! I froze, hearing my own thoughts attacking me.

Nate nodded, dipping back into the bedroom.

He came back a moment later, his clothes with him. He put them on the counter and started to strip, heading for the shower. He turned the water on, testing it before glancing back at me.

He hadn’t taken his sweats off, and I was waiting.

He doesn’t love you. He told you himself.

I tensed, but Nate caught my look. He grinned, his eyes darkening, and I forced myself to relax.

Then he said, “I want to talk to you about something.”

The mood deflated after that statement. I felt the serious undercurrents from him, and I knew. I had known.

No, no, no. I wanted to hold Nova tighter to me.

I didn’t want to lose this, any of this. Her. Him. Me. All three of us being here together.

I couldn’t, but I saw his eyes. He was serious, and he was giving me a sobering look.

A gnawing dread started to fill me.

“Yeah?” My throat was scratchy.

Nova felt my tension and started to wiggle around.

She wanted to get free, but I held her for a moment longer. I couldn’t take these moments for granted.

When she moved around like a worm, I knew my time was done, and I knelt, letting her to the floor.

She started for the shower.

I kept a hand, pulling her back.

Nate moved to block her. “But not now. I just want to reserve a time with you to talk.”

Suddenly, I didn’t want to talk.

The dread was rising, spreading. It was reactivating my nerves for tomorrow at the same time until I was a mess of bad feelings twisting like a tornado inside of me.

I felt the ground beneath me start to shake. It was going to fall out.

I knew it. I just knew it.

It’s been too good.

I bent down and swept Nova back up in my arms. I pushed that thought away. I’d literally just got rid of my negative thoughts, but I couldn’t stop the prick of ice in my stomach.

Too good for too long.

Nova started crying, grabbing for my hair, and pushing away from me at the same time.

Nothing good lasts for you.

I was thinking and trying to ignore myself at the same time.

“Since I have the show tomorrow, can we talk after?” I was trying to shut my brain off, and I glanced at Nate as I asked this.

A whole other chill went through me at his look.

Nate had gone completely still.

He told you he doesn’t love you, but he knows how you feel. It’s time. He’s going to end things.

I felt exposed.

It was a matter of time before you lost him, too.

I turned, Nova still fighting to get free. “I need to feed her.”

He nodded, not saying a word.

I left it like that, feeling…

The day started out so good. How could it turn so drastic, so quick?

Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe I was imagining all of it?

Yes. I was.

I must be.

Right?

I didn’t know, and I didn’t like that I didn’t know.

I couldn’t lose them, either of them.

That’s all I did know.

I couldn’t lose them...





48





Quincey





“He said he wanted to talk?”

I was filling Ricci in on one of my breaks. I had my Bluetooth in my ear, and she was on my phone.

Nate texted earlier, saying he needed to postpone the lunch visit. It’d been a suggestion, and I never confirmed, so I was calling Ricci because I didn’t know how I felt about it.

“Yeah.”

“What happened after that?”

“Nothing.” I was weaving through some other dancers in the hallway. “I was feeding Nova, and then Emily came, and the moment kinda passed.”

“Did something happen before that? I mean, babe, you called specifically to tell me that Nate wants to talk. Considering you are both shacked up together and sleeping together, that’s telling me there’s something significant to this ‘talk,’ and that’s why you’re calling me about it.”

I hesitated, but Ricci was right.

I was pushing out the door, stepping out into the street.

“I—I’ve been pulling away from him.”

“Pulling away? You told me that you had great sex, and then bam, this came up. You were pulling away before that?”

“Yeah,” I confessed.

I’d been so stupid.