My Favorite Half-Night Stand(63)

“And on the one hand, I get it,” I say. “Something happened between us in person and she doesn’t want this other persona in the way. But on the other hand, why the fuck did she do it in the first place, and why would she keep it from me?”

“Man,” Chris says quietly. “If this is true, this is fucked up.”

It takes me a few seconds, but then it registers that Ed—who has something to say about everything—is dead silent. His expression is tight, like he’s waiting any second to be yelled at . . . the way he looks when I catch him staring at grad students’ asses.

“What’s with you?” I ask.

He doesn’t look up from the napkin he’s methodically shredding. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit.” I’m reminded of that morning on the patio at my parents’ place, when he was acting like a lunatic. “Seriously, Ed.”

“I just . . .” He glances over to Alex. “I told her she should tell you.”

This honestly doesn’t penetrate at first. I know what he’s said, but at the same time, the meaning doesn’t fully hit me until he glances at Alex again, and Alex lifts his beer to his lips, shaking his head.

“Dude, you were the one who helped her write that last message,” Alex says under his breath.

“I’d told her a million times to tell him!” Ed protests to Alex.

“Wait.” I put my glass down, hold up a hand. “Wait. Wait. What is happening?” I am so flustered I don’t have any more words. I just stare at Ed, and then Alex, and then back at Ed again.

Ed drops his hands to the table. “This kind of shit never works out!”

A hush falls across the table, and Chris lets out a low whistle.

“You knew?” I ask, hearing the angry lean to my words. “Since when?” I stop, shaking my head. “Wait, you knew that morning at my parents’ place, didn’t you?”

Ed seems to shrink into himself. “I heard you guys.”

“You heard them having sex?” Chris asks, laughing. “That is unfortunate.”

Alex signals to the waitress that he wants another beer. “I’m still laughing that they had sex at his parents’ place when we were all there.”

I turn to Alex. “When did you find out?”

“I only found out like two days ago.”

“ ‘Only’ two days ago?”

My blood is rioting.

Anxiety builds in Ed’s expression. “I’ve only known about it for a week. You should know she’s been a total stress case about this.”

Chris shakes his head, staring at Ed like he’s unbelievable. “She should be, though.”

“She came over and wanted advice on what to do. She read your last message and—”

“Did you read my message?” I ask.

Ed looks to Alex and then back to me. “We both did, yeah.”

“Holy shit.” I press the heels of my hands to my eyes. “You guys. This is so fucked up.”

“It just only recently got out of hand,” Alex says, trying to smooth things over. “Seriously. All of this happened really fast. She’s been a mess, man.”

“Regardless, I gave her a dozen openings today, and she sat and lied to me. Again,.” I say.

“Okay,” Alex says, “to be fair, though, she wanted to tell you, but we thought it would be easier if Cat just vanished. She didn’t ever mean to be malicious.”

“If she wanted to tell me, then why didn’t she? How am I supposed to feel about this? She wants to start a relationship with me but she can’t even be honest on day one?”

“I mean,” Alex says, “you sort of played her, too, because the whole time today you knew that she was Catherine but she didn’t know you knew.”

“Oh, I think she knows I know,” I tell them. “And it’s not the same.”

Chris drops his head into his hands, groaning. “This is making my head hurt.”

“Why did she even start a separate account?” I ask, feeling my patience fraying. “Why did she let me view her full profile?”

“Honestly?” Ed spreads his hands, shrugging. “I think she assumed you’d figure it out. It sounds like it started as a way to not get so many dick pics, and to be able to be more ‘herself,’ ” he says, using air quotes, “then she matched with you and thought it was funny, and it just . . . grew.”

“That’s pretty reassuring, though,” Alex says, nodding. “Isn’t it? That it turned into something real for her, too?”

“Are you really fucking defending this right now?” I ask him.

“I’m just saying, I think shit can snowball, that’s all. You can start off with good intentions and . . . things can get out of hand.”

I gape at him. “That’s a decent excuse when it’s a total stranger, not your best friend who you are concurrently fucking.”

Everyone goes quiet, and I get it: I don’t often yell. But I am on fire right now. Alex and Ed knew that Millie was lying to me, and then encouraged her to keep doing it. And she’s so goddamn out of touch with herself that she couldn’t just do the right thing.

I feel like an idiot.

I feel like I’m on the outside.