My Favorite Half-Night Stand(62)


El Cabrón Pretty much.


Reid Campbell Emails?


El Cabrón Everything. Emails, IMs, my name in the grading portal, on the department website.


Christopher Hill Holy shit that is hilarious


El Cabrón My admin doesn’t think so. But he can go fucking fix it, I’m not going down there.


Christopher Hill I want to meet this woman.


Reid Campbell Ditto


El Cabrón Trust me, you don’t.


Reid Campbell At least she wanted to meet in person


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio Uh oh. Are things not going well with Catherine?


Reid Campbell Dating in my early twenties was amazing. Dating in my early thirties is a drag.


El Cabrón You know, the thing you all are failing to remember is that WE DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE TO BRING A PLUS ONE TO THIS EVENT


Reid Campbell I know.


Reid Campbell I realize we all got wrapped up in the date thing, but I think it was time we all got out there anyway.


El Cabrón Um, hello, I’ve BEEN out there


Christopher Hill And it’s clearly going well for you, El Cabrón


Reid Campbell Yeah, plenty of action to be found in the darkroom


Christopher Hill What?


El Cabrón Ed’s running his mouth, apparently.


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio Oh, my bad, was it a secret?


El Cabrón lol


Reid Campbell Can I sit down with you guys later today? Under the cloak of confidentiality?


El Cabrón I mean, if there’s a cloak, sure


Christopher Hill You want to meet up at lunch?


Reid Campbell I’d rather do it over drinks. Tonight at the Red Piano, 8 pm?


Stephen (Ed) D’Onofrio I just realized Mills isn’t on this thread. Is this a guys-only thing?


Reid Campbell Oh yes.



The bar has the same calming darkness as the microscope room, but it has the added benefit of booze. I’m two beers in before Chris shows up, followed closely by Alex and, ten minutes later, a harried Ed, who must not realize he’s still got a pair of lab goggles atop his head.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says, and startles when Alex carefully plucks the goggles from his mess of curls.

“Everything okay?” I know he was helping Gabriel with an experiment today that they’d been planning for a few weeks. One look at Ed and I’m guessing I don’t want to know how it went just yet. “Never mind. I’ll ask you later.”

He rakes a hand through his hair before reaching for the beer menu. “Probably a good idea.”

“Okay, so,” I start, staring at the remaining foam in my half-full pint glass. “I feel like a bit of a dick doing this—talking about this here—but I need some advice and I think I need all of your input because I suspect you’ll each tell me something different.”

Alex shifts in his chair, glancing at Ed.

Chris is the only one looking directly at me. “Sure.”

“Chris knows this,” I say, “but about a month or two ago, Millie and I slept together.”

There is no reaction to this. No gasps, no outburst. Just even expressions and expectant silence. So apparently Chris wasn’t the only one who assumed we’d done this a long time ago.

“It happened again at my parents’ place,” I continue, “and again a couple nights ago.”

Alex nods slowly. “Okay?”

“But during all this, I’ve also been talking to Daisy online—which by the way, didn’t work out in person—and Catherine.” I take a quick sip, and focus my attention on the table. “After leaving Millie’s the other night, I was a little messed up about what we were doing, and I messaged Cat and sort of laid out what was going on.”

Ed coughs into his fist.

“I told her that I have feelings for this friend of mine—Millie—but that I also wanted to meet Cat as well. Long story short, Cat wrote back and told me she was moving to Massachusetts.”

“Dude, seriously?” Chris asks. “That’s . . . that’s weird.”

I don’t miss the way Alex bends and cups his forehead. Watching him, I say carefully, “If what you’re thinking is that Millie is Catherine, you’d be right.”

All three of their heads shoot up and they stare at me.

“Wait, what?” Chris says, pulling back.

“I figured it out at her place last night,” I tell them. “She was telling me she wanted us to try to be together, and when I bent to hug her I realized she’s got the same scar on her shoulder as Cat did in the profile picture. And Cat always made that same typo, the ‘tit’ typo, that Millie makes.” I look up at them, making sure they’re not looking at me like I’m insane. “A few other things, too—her dad being sick and her mom dying when she was younger. Her little sister she’s not so close to. I figured it out and gave her the chance to tell me about Cat . . . and she didn’t. I’m, like, ninety-nine percent sure she’s Catherine, and I gave her so many openings to tell me, and she didn’t. She just continued the lie.”

No one says anything. They just absorb all this in shock.

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