Most of All You: A Love Story(79)

I put my hands over my mouth, not realizing tears were streaking my face until I felt them on my fingers.

“Whoa, hey.” George ran up with Dominic on his heels, and they each took one of Gabriel’s arms and pulled him away from the man. Chloe was right behind them, and she looked stricken.

The man backed up, looking relieved to see Gabriel being forced to stand down. Despite what he’d done to me, he was a coward. If I hadn’t known it before, I realized it then.

Even so, I was shaky with fear and shame. Someday soon I was going to have to face those men in court. How would I manage it? I didn’t think I could. I wasn’t strong enough. I’d never be strong enough.

That’s when the whispers—the gossip—around me penetrated …

“… this happened before when he was a kid, you know. Do you remember that fair …?”

“… seems nice but then … violent …”

“… sometimes victims become perpetrators. There’ve been studies done …”

“Did you hear he was a suspect in that case …?”

“Who’s the girl with him? Did you hear what that other girl was calling her?”

Slut.

Whore.

Trash.

I shook my head, trying to tune it out, sick with horror at what had just happened.

Gabriel shook George and Dominic off as the man, his girlfriend, and the others who’d been with him started to walk away, swearing and spitting on the ground. “If you ever come near her again, it’ll be the last thing you ever do, you sick excuse for a man,” Gabriel called after them.

The girlfriend turned and stuck her middle finger up, but the man pretended not to hear Gabriel, disappearing into the crowd. “Oh my God, what was that?” Chloe whispered. “Are you okay?” she asked me.

I nodded jerkily. For several heartbeats, Gabriel stood staring in the direction the group had gone and then turned to me, exhaling a large breath. “Ellie, Jesus, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

I shook my head, my eyes darting around at all the stares, all the whispered words, all the judgment. “Can we go? Can we just leave?”

Dominic turned to Gabriel. “Who—?”

“One of the men who attacked her,” Gabriel answered.

I felt the heat of shame moving up my neck, filling my cheeks and making me feel woozy. I turned my body slightly toward Gabriel, wanting to melt into him.

I didn’t look at Dominic. I couldn’t. I knew exactly what I’d see on his face if I did. The look that told me this was my fault, that my presence in Gabriel’s life brought him nothing except hurt and further nonacceptance. “Can we just go?” I repeated. “Please.”

“Ellie …,” Gabriel murmured, moving closer, brushing a tear off my cheek. “I never would have left you alone if I had even considered—”

“You couldn’t know. I never even once thought …” I shook my head again.

“Gabriel, why don’t you call it a day?” George asked. “Get Ellie home, put her feet up, and let this roll off your backs, okay?” He was looking pointedly at me, as if I was the one who looked more traumatized. Maybe I did. I guess I was.

“Okay.” Gabriel was still looking at me worriedly as he brushed a tendril of hair out of my face. “Let’s go.” He nodded to George, Dominic, and Chloe and took my arm in his, turning me toward the parking lot.

I hardly remembered the drive home, and so when we pulled into Gabriel’s driveway, it surprised me—hadn’t we just left the festival a couple of minutes before?

We went inside and Gabriel led me to the couch, where I curled up at one end. He sat right next to me and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. “I’m sorry that happened. I’m sorry if I didn’t handle it well.” He’s sorry? I brought the negative attention on him and he’s sorry?

I shook my head. “You don’t have to be sorry. Thank you for defending me.” Again.

He let out a long breath. “I’d defend you to the death, Eloise.”

I tipped my head to look up at him. “I think you would.” I chewed at my lip for a moment. I was turned inside out. Guilt overwhelmed me, and I shut my eyes tightly. “I’m just so sorry.”

“Ellie, don’t blame yourself.”

I looked down, recalling the hateful look in the woman’s eyes as she’d called me vicious names. “Why are girls so mean to each other?” I whispered.

“They’re not all that way. Look at Chloe.”

Yes, look at Chloe. My heart dropped, and I didn’t like that every mention of Chloe’s name made me envious when she’d been nothing except good to me. It made me feel mean-spirited. “Yeah.”

Gabriel pulled me closer, and we sat that way in silence for a while, me lost in my own thoughts, going over the events of the morning. I’d arrived with such tentative hope. Overwhelming sadness filled me as I looked up and into Gabriel’s eyes. I’ll never be good enough for him. “I wanted today to go well for you. I wanted—”

“Shh, that doesn’t matter. I don’t care about that. Those people … they can think what they want to think. You’re the person who matters to me.”

I gave him a tremulous smile, scooting closer and wrapping my arms around his waist. “I just … Dominic’s right. You should have the life you were meant to have.”