Most of All You: A Love Story(56)

Gabriel …

I forced myself to move my thoughts from him. Thinking of Gabriel now would do me no good. After last night, it was glaringly obvious that I needed to get back to my own life, my own job. It was going to take a while to pick up the pieces, but I could no longer hide away from the world at Gabriel’s. It wasn’t fair to anyone. And certainly I was no longer welcome. No doubt Gabriel was as disgusted with me as I was with myself.

When Kayla picked me up, I’d been surprised to find Gabriel’s house empty when I limped outside, yet also relieved. I’d still felt brittle and ashamed, and I didn’t want to face anyone. I’d spent a restless night on Kayla’s roommate’s couch.

Kayla held the door open for me and then gave me a quick goodbye. “You sure you’re going to be okay? I’m sorry I can’t stay.”

I mustered up a smile. “No, I’m good. I can hang out here for a couple of hours until you’re able to come back.” What I hoped was that I could use the time to study up on mixing drinks, or if Rodney let me, get familiarized with the bar.

“Okay. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

“Thanks, Kay.”

I limped into the lobby and made my way to Rodney’s office. Just walking through the club put a sour taste in my mouth. I couldn’t help but compare this dim, dirty place with Gabriel’s beautiful home, which was so full of life and light. Suddenly, being here made my skin crawl in ways it hadn’t before. I forced myself to swallow the sensation.

When I knocked lightly on Rodney’s office door, I heard a barked, “Yeah?” and pushed it open with one crutch.

Rodney looked up from the paperwork on his desk, an expression of genuine surprise coming over his stodgy face. He leaned back in his chair as I limped in. “Hey, Rodney.”

“Crystal.” He looked me up and down before I took a seat in the chair in front of his desk. “How are you?”

I laughed a humorless chuckle. “Just great.” Thanks for checking in on me. Your concern was just heartwarming.

“You look like shit.”

“Why thanks, Rodney. As usual, your charm is overwhelming.”

“Just telling the truth.”

I licked my lips. “Obviously I can’t dance yet. But I was hoping I could do some bartending until I’m back in working order again.”

“We don’t need a bartender.”

“But I have to get back to work. I need the money.”

“That’s not my problem.”

I gaped at him. “I was attacked and brutalized by three customers on my way out of here.”

“Company policy says you wait for a security escort to walk you to your car. You didn’t follow it.”

I took a deep breath, telling myself not to get worked up. “I realize I overlooked policy. But you can’t be suggesting that this is my fault.”

He shrugged. “Might not be your fault, but the fact remains that I don’t need a bartender. And even if I did, no one wants a gimp serving their drinks. Buzz. Kill.” His eyes moved to my chest. “Even if you do have a decent rack.”

I almost laughed at the absurdity of him, but anger overcame me before a laugh could bubble up my throat. “You are truly just an awful human being, aren’t you?”

“I’m a businessman, sweetheart. And business doesn’t care about your feelings.”

I forced myself to remain still, my small, tight smile in place. “There must be something I can do until I’m healed up enough to perform.”

Rodney grabbed what looked to be a used toothpick off his cluttered desk and picked at his teeth as he surveyed me. “Shit, you can’t even sweep floors in your condition. I don’t have anything for you. Take a month or two off and come back when you don’t look like the crash-test dummy.” He laughed at his own joke. “I’ll see if I can find some shifts for you then.”

“A month or two …,” I sputtered. “You’ll try?” Fierce anger overcame me. “I’ve never once called in sick,” I yelled. “I’ve picked up shifts whenever I was asked, taken your abuse, watched you pick your ass and pretended it didn’t disgust me, and laughed at your stupid jokes. And you can’t find something for me to do here until I’m healed?”

Rodney’s face went hard, a tick starting up in his jaw. “Get out.”

I stood up, grabbing my crutches. I wanted to hold on to the small amount of rage I’d mustered, but I just felt broken, defeated. I couldn’t hold on to anything—it all just slipped right through my fingers. And anyway, what else could I do? Beg Rodney? God, I’d rather die homeless. I turned and limped out of his office.

At the front door I remembered that I hadn’t cleaned out my locker and considered going back. But the only things in the locker were things I needed for the job: makeup, a few costume pieces, and several pairs of heels. I left them there, pushing the door open and stepping out into the bright sunlight.

Feeling drained of any energy I had walking into the Platinum Pearl, I sat down on the curb next to the door, pulling out my phone. I stared at it for a minute and then slowly put it away. The truth was I had no one to call. Kayla would come back eventually, but right now she was moving her stuff to another friend’s house. The girl she’d been living with had to ask her to move out when her sister showed up in town and needed a place to stay.