Moonlight Over Manhattan(43)

“Once. No second dates.”

“Three evenings of your life you’ll never get back. But you made yourself do it. Are you always this hard on yourself?”

“Plenty of people use internet dating. In today’s world where it’s hard to meet anyone, it’s a legitimate way to find a partner.”

“Maybe, but you found it hard. So I wonder why you didn’t find another way.”

“That’s why. Because I found it hard. That’s why I’m doing this. Normally I live life in my comfort zone.”

“Most people do. Is there anything wrong with being in your comfort zone?”

“If you don’t push yourself to do the things that scare you, how will you ever find out if there’s more to life than the one you’re living?” She felt heat warm her cheeks. This conversation was becoming far deeper than she’d intended. Talking to strangers wasn’t something she was good at. Confiding in strangers wasn’t something she ever did.

The only person she’d discussed Challenge Harriet with was Glenys.

He gave her a speculative look. “Good point. And now you’re making me wonder if I should rethink my life.”

“You’re mocking me.”

“No.” There was no sign of mockery in his eyes. “Most of us wake up in the morning and do the same thing we always do. Follow the same habits. Most people hate change, and only do it when it’s forced on them. You are actively embracing it.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say I’m embracing it,” Harriet muttered. “That implies that I’m running forward into change enthusiastically. I’m forcing myself kicking and screaming, looking for excuses to back out and generally struggling all the way.”

“But you’re doing it.” He topped off her glass and did the same with his own. “Doing something you don’t want to do takes self-discipline. I’m impressed.”

He was impressed? “You’re a doctor. You save lives every single day.”

“I thought you weren’t impressed by doctors.”

“That isn’t what I said. I said that being a doctor didn’t increase your appeal as dating material.”

“I feel thoroughly put in my place. If I ever thought being a doctor might earn me bonus points, I stand corrected.” But he seemed amused rather than offended. “Thanks to you, I wouldn’t even have the courage to use a dating app now. My confidence is wrecked.”

He didn’t look as if his confidence had ever suffered even the slightest dent.

“People whose confidence is wrecked don’t smile the way you’re smiling. I bet you’ve never suffered a single confidence wobble in your life.”

“You’d be surprised. So what sort of man would be high on your list as a potential date?”

“Someone who shows interest in something, and someone, other than themselves I suppose.”

Which he was doing.

Since he’d sat down at the table he’d done nothing but ask questions about her, something not one of her three dates had done. And he looked at her while he asked the questions, as if he was genuinely interested in hearing her answer.

She had to keep reminding herself that this wasn’t a date. Which made the situation all the more ironic. None of her dates had been as interesting as this non-date. None of the men she’d met had captured her attention the way Ethan Black did. And if none of them had also caused that little kick in her pulse rate or that rush of sensation across her nerve endings she chose to ignore that.

Madi nudged her leg and gave a little whine.

Grateful for a reason to leave her thoughts behind, Harriet stood up. “She wants to go out. I’ll take her for a walk.”

“Now?” He glanced at his phone. “It’s late. I’ll come with you.”

“No need.” She already had Madi in her coat and was grabbing her backpack.

“You’re not walking the streets of Manhattan by yourself at this time.” He retrieved his coat from the back of his chair. His movements were slow and controlled, the way they’d been in the emergency room that day. As if he knew that haste was achieved by thoughtful strategy and not by panic.

She couldn’t imagine Ethan panicking. She couldn’t imagine him lying about who he was, or what he did. Or spending a whole evening talking about himself. He wasn’t the sort who would fill a silence with words for the sake of it.

He was the sort who would take care of his sister’s dog even though it meant turning his own life upside down.

That was the part that turned her heart upside down.

That was the part that made him dangerous.

“It’s not that late. And I do it all the time. It’s my job.”

“You don’t want my company?”

She wanted his company very much. That was the problem. “If you’re going to come with me, you might as well have walked Madi yourself. You don’t need me.”

“I need you.” His gaze held hers and for a crazy moment she felt a rush of awareness she couldn’t remember ever feeling before.

Ethan Black needed her.

Then she remembered he needed her for her canine skills. Not for anything else.

“You don’t need me.”

He glanced at Madi. “You only have to look at how calm and well behaved she is to understand how much I need you. In this situation, you’re the team leader.”