Moonlight Over Manhattan(41)

Her brother Daniel had teased her for creating a romantic atmosphere, and she’d admitted that it had nothing at all to do with romance and everything to do with her own rituals for keeping calm in a situation she’d always found stressful.

What if she’d found candles and matches? In all probability she would have used them, and Ethan would have come home to fine dining and candlelight. She would have had a big problem explaining her way out of that one.

She could have told him it was the way she liked to live her life now. When she’d moved into an apartment with her sister, she’d immediately set about creating a space that felt safe and cozy. Plants, cushions, rugs—she was the one who had turned their place into a home, and although Fliss teased her and wouldn’t have watered a plant if her life depended on it, Harriet knew she’d enjoyed living there too.

Up until a few months ago, she’d shared almost every aspect of her life with her twin.

And she was missing that. Because a home was so much more than four walls, some pretty throw cushions and a few healthy plants, wasn’t it? A home was about the people. Atmosphere.

And right now her home was depressingly silent. She missed the feeling of coming home to someone.

Had that been part of the reason she’d accepted Ethan’s invitation to stay at his place? Had she been avoiding her own? Or had she secretly hoped that something might develop between them?

Pathetic, she muttered, and sat down in the chair by the window to eat her meal. Alone.

This was what Challenge Harriet was all about. If she had a problem with the way she was living her life, then she needed to fix it. And wanting things to go back to the way they were wasn’t a fix.

If she missed people then the answer was to fill her home with more people. It shouldn’t matter that Fliss wasn’t living with her anymore. She should simply make some calls and have people over. Maybe she should call Molly and suggest meeting for brunch. Or her friend Matilda. Except that Matilda was spending most of her time in the Hamptons with her new baby.

She needed to make new friends. Be self-sufficient and adventurous.

Maybe she ought to book a week away somewhere. She could go hiking. Get some fresh air. Snatch some time away from the city. A change of scene would be good.

She was pondering that when there was a tap on the door.

She put her spoon down, knowing this wasn’t a conversation she was going to be able to avoid.

Ethan opened the door but didn’t walk into the room. “If I step inside this room are you going to throw food at my head?”

“I don’t know. It depends on what you say when you step in here.”

“Would an apology work?” His smile was crooked. “I seem to spend my life apologizing to you. Believe it or not, I’m not usually this bad with people.”

“So I bring out the worst in you?” She wasn’t going to be charmed by that smile. Absolutely not.

“It’s not you, so much as the circumstances.” Ethan glanced down as Madi, who pushed her nose against his leg. “My life has changed quite a bit over the past couple of days. I think I’m still getting over the shock.” He crouched down to stroke Madi’s head. “There, Madi. Lovely Madi.”

“That’s not going to work this time.” But at least he was trying. She relented. “It’s not easy having an animal around when you’re not used to it.”

“It’s not just Madi. I’ve lived on my own for a long time. I’m used to being in my own space and doing what I want to do when I want to do it.”

He made living alone sound like the ultimate indulgence.

Harriet was in that position too, and so far she hated it.

“You like living on your own?”

He glanced at her. “Yes. It’s easy. I don’t have to think about anyone but myself. I’d be the first to admit I’m not good at compromising. Nor am I used to walking through the door to the delicious smells of home cooking. I made assumptions that were totally wrong.”

His apology disarmed her as much as his honesty. She thought about the dates she’d been on, and the lies people had told to make themselves look better. She didn’t understand how relationships were ever supposed to work if people weren’t honest about who they were. What was the point of pretending to be interested in reading if you never picked up a book? Why lie about what work you did, or your income or your age? If you had to pretend to be someone different, how was that ever going to work?

With that in mind, she was honest too.

“You weren’t wrong. I did assume you would want to eat too. And it was stupid of me.”

“Not stupid at all. A reasonable assumption that I’d be hungry, and a kind gesture to cook. You were thoughtful. And kind. And I was a jerk.” He stared at the food on the tray. “What is it?”

“It’s boeuf bourguignon. A French dish of beef marinated in wine and herbs.”

“It smells good.”

Discovering a wicked streak she hadn’t even known she had, Harriet took another mouthful and savored it. “It tastes good. Deliciously warming after being out in the cold.”

He laughed. “You’re a cruel woman.”

“I intended to share it with you. You made it clear I’d overstepped the mark. How does that make me cruel?”

“You want me to apologize again? Grovel?”