Misadventures of a Rookie (Misadventures #11)(58)

“Fine, I held back information that doesn’t matter! Nothing about Davis has anything to do with us.”

“But it does, because if we’re going to be something, shouldn’t I know something like that? That’s a big part of your life that I assume goes with the shit with that guy you used to date.”

She was still gawking at me, her eyes wide. “Gus, we aren’t going to be anything, don’t you see that? You’re on the fast track to the top, and I’m just trying to get through college. Stop making this something it’s not.”

Her words were like knives. Holding her gaze, I shook my head. “That’s not true, and you know it.”

“So, you aren’t going into the NHL here in the Twin Cities while I’m in Malibu?” She held her hand up. “Given you don’t get held back because of your injury.”

I shot her a narrow look. “We can work that out, but if we can’t be honest with each other, then why are we trying?”

“I never asked you to be honest with me.”

“You didn’t have to, Bo. I want to be. Because I want to be yours like you are mine.”

Her lips parted, her eyes flooding with tears. Her lip started to wobble as she threw her hands up. “I didn’t sign up for that.”

“Do you think I did? I wanted to fuck you, and now I’m fucking in love with you!”

Her tears spilled over as she gazed at me, her chest rising and falling in a dramatic fashion. Clearing her throat, she looked away.

“Everything that is happening with my career can’t hold us back if we don’t allow it. Tell me what happened!”

She threw her hands up as she shook her head. “But, Gus, you know what happened. It’s your mom’s story without the damn happy ending.” Tears spilled over her eyes as she looked up at the wall, inhaling hard.

“So Davis is yours?”

She slowly shook her head. “No. I mean…yes. I had him. I was pregnant with him, but my mom and dad adopted him.” She wouldn’t look at me as she sat down on the bed, moving her fingers together as she inhaled hard and let it out in a whoosh. “I loved him, Gus. God, I loved him. Jesse, like you wouldn’t believe. We grew up together, our families were friends, and I had always had a thing for him. When I hit high school, we started dating. He was older than me by two years, and my parents were okay with it because we knew his family.”

For some reason, dread filled my gut. Even knowing the end of this story, I hurt for the girl she used to be. “We dated for three years, and it was fun, hot, and silly. We were young, we were crazy, and he promised me the world. He was projected to go right into the draft, and he did. The day we found out he drafted third was the day I found out I was pregnant.” She swallowed hard as she wiped her face, hard, pulling her features as she sobbed. “I told him, and he told me we were good, that he was going to make tons of money. I went to sleep with all the confidence in the world.” She paused, inhaling hard before looking up at me. “He got in his car and left that following morning. When I realized it, I texted him asking what happened, and he texted me that the baby wasn’t his. That I wouldn’t ruin his career. He left me. He picked his career over me and his child, and that devastated me.”

I sat down beside her, reaching for her hands, though she wouldn’t let me. “Bo, he was a jackass.”

“I trusted him. I loved him, and he broke me.”

“I understand, but he wasn’t a good guy, obviously.”

“But I thought he was everything.”

“Well, you were wrong—or better yet, he made you wrong ’cause he was a fucking dickhead.”

She wasn’t listening to me though. She held her face in her hands as she explained even more. “I went into a really bad state of depression. I couldn’t function, which is why I wanted to give Davis up. I wasn’t like your mom. I wasn’t strong like she was, because everyone was against me. I was completely alone, and I lost my scholarship because I couldn’t keep up with my studies to keep my four-point GPA. I lost everything, and then I had to watch my mom raise my child because I couldn’t do it.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I reached for her, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her temple. “Bo, it’s okay. You did what was best, not only for Davis but for yourself.”

“Gus, you don’t understand. I’m making the same mistake.”

Those words hit me as though she threw cold water on me. I pulled back, watching as she shook her head. As I stared at her profile, my throat closed up, and she went on. “I’m falling fast for you, just like I did with Jesse, and I know I shouldn’t make you pay for his mistakes, but can’t you understand, after everything I’ve said, it’s hard not to. I mean, look at me. I’m a mess just thinking about what could happen again.”

“I would never do that to you,” I insisted. “That would never happen between us. I couldn’t do that to you. Ever.” Reaching for her hands, I laced our fingers together. “Bo, I get it. You don’t like promises because you think they can’t be kept, but he was a piece of shit. My word is my everything, and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Can’t you see that?”

“I want to, but Gus, you’re going into the NHL. This is your dream. Do you really want a long-distance relationship holding you down?”