Misadventures of a College Girl (Misadventures #9)(23)
“You mean besides the shirts implicitly warning Stage Five Clingers to stay the hell away?”
“Yeah, that was an incidental benefit I discovered after the fact. The reason I started wearing those shirts was because I realized I could make them the foundation of my brand.”
“Your brand?”
Tyler’s face lights up. “Think about it. Which NFL players do you think get the biggest commercials and merchandizing deals? The best players on the field?” He shakes his head. “Talent’s only one part of the equation. The thing that makes a guy the most marketable off the field is a huge personality. He’s got to be instantly recognizable. A guy everyone loves or loves to hate. So I’m creating my brand now to lay the foundation for the global empire I’ll be building when I’m in the NFL.”
“Your empire?”
“Mark my words, I’ll be a household name during my rookie season. And by the end of my career, my impact’s going to reach far beyond football. One day, I’ll be like Muhammad Ali. Michael Jordan. Michael Phelps. A global brand.”
“And all because you wear message tees?”
“No. Of course, not. Message tees will be the initial hook that’s going to make me stand out at first. They’ll be my gateway into a full sportswear line. Shoes. Nike commercials. And all that will give me the seed money for what I want to do when my playing days are over—invest in real estate.” He taps his temple. “I’m a business major, baby. I know exactly what I’m doing. And it all starts with the message T-shirts. Just watch.”
I’m blown away. “How did you start wearing the T-shirts in the first place?”
“By chance. One day during my senior year in high school, I wore a T-shirt that said Heartbreaker. I think I got it at American Apparel or wherever, just because I thought it was funny. But then, after I’d worn it a couple of times, some girls on the pep squad wore ‘Heartbreaker’ shirts the day of a big game to show support for me. So that gave me an idea. I gathered all my savings and bought a bunch of blank T-shirts and had ‘Heartbreaker’ silkscreened onto them. And then I sold them, with a dollar from each sale going to charity. Boom. They sold out instantly. So I reinvested my profits and bought more shirts. Thought up some new phrases. Wore the new phrases to make them seem cool. Put the shirts on sale with a buck from each sale going to charity. Boom. Sold out of those in lightning speed, too. And on and on. I was unstoppable. As long as I wore the new message first for a bit, then the world wanted it. Everyone wanted to dress like Tyler Caldwell. By the time I graduated, I had a drawer full of different message T-shirts, a nice chunk of change for my charity, and enough cash to buy myself a motorcycle for college.”
My jaw is hanging open. “And you seriously question if the halo effect is real? Tyler, if anyone else had worn those shirts, nobody would have cared. I mean, jeez, look what happened today in Social Psych. The professor said don’t ask to switch partners, and then three handsome football players asked to switch partners, and she couldn’t switch for you guys fast enough. Just imagine if Dimitri had asked her to change partners. Or if he’d worn those message shirts in high school. You think anyone would have bought those shirts from him?”
Tyler’s eyes light up. “That’s it! That’s our experiment. We’ll test out the halo effect. It’ll be me versus Dimitri. Let’s see if you’re right about that.”
I squeal. “I love it. You think Dimitri will help us out?”
“Oh, I’m sure he will. But if you ask your roommate to help us, too, he’ll be Johnny on the Spot, for sure.”
“Perfect.”
Tyler puts his notepad on the coffee table and pointedly scoots closer to me on the couch. “So is that enough work for our first night, taskmaster?”
“Yeah, I think we got a ton accomplished tonight. Don’t you?”
“I do.” He scoots even closer to me, his eyes darkening with heat. “So are you feeling relaxed now, little freshman?”
My crotch flutters. “Um. Right this very second? No. Actually.”
“No?” He smiles. “Why not?”
“Because you’re sitting two inches away from me, looking at me like you want to swallow me whole.”
Tyler’s smile widens, but he doesn’t argue the point.
I exhale. “Tyler, we’re not going to have sex tonight. We can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re going to be working closely together for the next five weeks and seeing each other in class for five more weeks after that. Plus, now that I’ve gotten to know you a bit, and I actually kind of don’t hate you, I’m positive a one-night stand with you would be hard for me to handle. If I’m being perfectly honest, I’d probably want to have sex with you again after that first time. And I wouldn’t know how to act around you in our classes after our one-night stand. I’d worry every time I sat down within four rows of you, you’d be like, ‘Stalker! Stage Five Clinger! Don’t slash my tires!’ and I’d be like, ‘Dude, chill. I’m enrolled in this class, remember?’”
Tyler chuckles and snakes one arm around my shoulders. “Why do you assume we’d have nothing but a one-night stand?”
I look at him like he’s on crack. “Because that’s what you explicitly said is the only item on the Tyler Caldwell menu. One night and nothing more, remember?”