Midnight Sun(50)

I look at my dad in amazement.

Charlie clicks another link. This is of a different girl reinterpreting the tune from behind a keyboard. Another link. There’s a guy sitting on a windowsill singing it a cappella.

“Look at how many people you’ve touched,” Charlie says, an urgency in his voice that I understand all too well. He means touched before I can’t touch anyone anymore. “Now the whole world can hear you.”

I reach out slowly and painfully to him. He grabs my hand and kisses it. He holds it tightly. He won’t let go.

“I need to run over to the marina, Katie,” he tells me. “But I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“I wanna see this Beyoncé-worthy yacht you’ve been cleaning all summer,” Morgan tells him.

“I’m afraid you’re gonna miss your chance,” Charlie tells her. “Mr. Jones is sailing off on vacation tomorrow. This is my last little checkup before he goes.”

“Aw, snap,” Morgan says.

Charlie leans down close to me. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Sure,” I say. He starts to walk to the door, and something in me tells me I should follow. I have a gut feeling that I might not be here when he gets back.

I decide I don’t want to just lie here on this couch waiting to die. I want to go on that sunset sail Charlie and I talked about. I want to be in control of how my story ends. “Wait,” I say. It comes out forcefully, and everyone turns to look at me. “I want to go with him,” I say.

“Go where, sweetie?” my dad asks, concern all over his face.

I struggle to push myself up to a sitting position. “I want to go with Charlie… on the boat. Now.” I won’t let XP call the shots anymore. It’s not over until I say it’s over. And I guess what I’m saying is… I’m ready.

It’s like everyone in the room freezes. Morgan looks at my dad. I can’t tell if she’s hoping he’ll say yes or no. Charlie stops, waiting for an answer. My dad looks deep in thought.

“Maybe it would be better if you just lie down a little longer,” he finally says.

But I’m growing weaker every day, every hour, every minute. Today is my last chance. I know it. I probably won’t have a tomorrow even if I don’t go.

“It’s okay, Dad,” I assure him. “I want to.”

My father stares back at me, unblinking. I know he wasn’t prepared for this—me making one last stand for independence and freedom. Well, he’s just going to have to deal with it.

“I really want to,” I insist.

We all know what it means if I go. But I’m okay with it. Really I am. I have to be. There’s no other choice.

“Please,” I say.

My dad takes a big swallow. Closes his eyes. Finally nods yes.





25

Charlie is waiting for me on the boat. I’m standing on the dock with my dad and Morgan, telling her it’s okay to cry. She’s frantically trying to wipe away her tears. I know she’s mad at herself for not being stoic in this moment, but I’m really okay with her showing her true feelings.

Because I feel it, too. I don’t want to leave her. She’s never left me, not once, even when all the other kids did. I hope she doesn’t see my last wish as a betrayal of our friendship.

“Does it hurt?” my dad asks. I’m not sure if he means the sun or his grip around me. But neither does. Not really.

I lower the hood on my sweatshirt and tilt my face up to the sun, holding my arms out wide. The light washes over me. I feel truly at peace. “It feels amazing. It feels better than I even imagined.”

I turn to face Morgan. “I love you so much.”

She pulls me into a fierce hug. “Everyone sucks compared to you. I’m screwed for life. You’ve ruined me.”

“Well, you saved me,” I tell her. “Thanks for not believing Zoe when she said I was a vampire.”

Morgan starts laughing through her tears. “That whore? I told you, she is the actual devil. I would never have turned on you.”

I shake my head and smile at her. “And you never did.”

“And I never will.”

“Don’t I know it.”

I turn to face my dad. I reach out for his hand. I’m staring at him, trying to memorize his face. Every line, every curve, every whisker. I have him to thank for my life. For everything I love and cherish.

“Promise you’ll let yourself be happy?”

I can only leave him and get on this boat now if I know he’ll take care of himself after I’m gone. To love and be loved again. Follow his passions to the farthest corners of the earth with someone special by his side, I hope. Maybe Jessica is the one? And if not, someone deserving of the incredible man he is.

Dad nods, his face full of emotion. “I promise.”

We hug each other tightly. I want to bottle up everything we’ve been and done for each other and spread it all over the entire planet. Let the world experience what pure goodness feels like.

“I don’t know how the universe works, Katie,” my dad says, his voice choked with tears. “But thank you for choosing me to be your dad. I’ve truly loved every second of it.”

I laugh. “I’m not sure that’s how it works, but right back at you,” I say. “I love you.”