Messy Love(97)

“She should worry, son.’’ He spat out. “I just need one bullet.’’

“Then do it. Do it.’’ I locked eyes with his and maybe for the first time, probably too late, I let go of that childlike need for love from him, that monster. I let go of him, of my past of my ties to these nightmares. It took him to kidnap my girl, tie her up and point a gun at her to do it.

Marissa’s sobs pierced my ears, tugged at my heart and made me wish to do everything differently, made me wish I had been stronger and pushed away my father when he came knocking at my door.

What ifs derailed me and I hesitated a fraction of a second, but it was enough for him to tug his wrist free and hit my head with his gun. I stumbled back and crashed on the dirty floor near Marissa.

Black spots took over my sight, but it came back soon enough when Marissa’s painful cry muffled by her gag reached my ears.

“Don’t fucking come closer, son,’’ my father warned me, a hand in Marissa’s hair and the gun against her temple. He was kneeling next to her on the mattress, just a few feet from my sprawled body on the ground.

I ignored the blood that trailed down the side of my face from the gash at my hairline. I pushed away the throbbing pain in my head or the way the room seemed to dance in front of my face. None of those things were of importance when Marissa was in this monster’s hands with a gun to her head.

It would only take one bullet, one small piece of metal, to snatch her away and for me to lose everything that she was. It would only take one shot to kill the world I was ready to discover with new eyes.

Marissa’s eyes didn’t have tears in them anymore, and that gutted me more. What I saw in those jewels iced me to my core.

Acceptance.

There shouldn’t be acceptance in her eyes, not when she was twenty and had her life ahead of her, not when she had a gun aimed at her beautiful head.

“Why are you doing this? I’m here. I’m right fucking here,’’ I said hoarsely, my voice breaking. My fingers dug into the floor and the grit. I wanted to leap to my feet and attack him, but I would be too slow. I didn’t have fucking superhuman strength and speed.

“Did you think I’d slink away quietly when you snitched to the cops? I work with powerful and ruthless men, boy. What do you believe is going to happen when I get to them, and the drugs are gone along with several of our dealers and delivery guys?’’

“You knew something like that could happen at any moment.’’

“It’s different when my blood betrays me.’’ He tugged on Marissa’s head and tilted it upward. “I see what you like about her. She’s a pretty one. Too bad a bullet in that head will ruin it.’’

“Don’t, please don’t,’’ I begged, my eyes in the woman’s I loved, the woman who tore open my heart and forced me to open up to her even when my walls didn’t want to crumble. “I’ll do whatever you want, but you let her go.’’

“Still as stupid as you’ve always been,’’ he spluttered harshly and pressed the gun harder against her head. “I want to make you suffer. Nobody crosses me. NOBODY!’’ he yelled.

It became crystal clear then, why Marissa had that acceptance in her eyes and the regrets too. It had been his plan all along.

Kill the woman I loved to make me suffer. What a worthless vengeance.

“I want you to look in her eyes when I put a bullet in her head. I want you to feel the kind of pain that will break you.’’ His eyes turned more violent. “Then, once her blood seeps in the floor and she’s as cold as marble, I will put a bullet in you, but not before you beg me to.’’

I stared at him then, words failing me, emotions swirling inside me. For years I had thought this monster had passed on his ugliness to me. I had believed for so long that I hurt people just like he did, that I was no good and didn’t deserve goodness in my life because I ruined everything, but I had been wrong.

It hit me then, another blow, but this time to my heart.

I had flaws, issues, and hangups, I wasn’t a good guy like I should be, and I had a lot to learn to be seen as a stand-up guy, but I would never and never had been close to the kind of monster my biological father was.

I could never take someone’s life.

I could never torture someone, even less family.

I could never take pleasure in toying with someone.

The only things I inherited from this man were physical traits.

My eyes landed on Marissa again, and the fear was back in her eyes, and I knew without a doubt that it was for me. I had fought against the link, that damn link that seemed to tie me to her, but it was there. It was there and made my love for her that much stronger, so much that at that moment, when I could lose her with that kind of finality, I’d do anything to strengthen that link, to let that love grow and prove to her that she had been right to come back to me again and again. She had been right.

It couldn’t end before it truly started.

It couldn’t end before our love turned from a mess to that beautiful thing that could last a lifetime.

It couldn’t end before I proved her that my love for her wasn’t a fickle thing.

She saw the change in my eyes, knew before me what I would do, and it was further proof that we were so entwined our souls knew each other to perfection.

I didn’t think twice, didn’t plan or ponder the best tactic. I jumped to my feet and tackled my father with all my strength. We tumbled to the floor, rolled as I tried to get the gun out of his hand, but his grip was too tight.