Mayhem At Prescott High (The Havoc Boys #3)(56)

“What is it then?” Aaron asks, pulling into the drive-in burger place and surprising me by ordering us two chocolate shakes and some burgers. He smiles at me when I give him a look. “What? Even gangbangers need to eat,” he says as he puts the Bronco in park. Looks like it might be a while. I vaguely recognize some of the other cars parked in the rows alongside us, vintage beauties that I can almost guarantee belong to Prescott High kids. I have plenty of time to study them, since this is a proper drive-in. On Friday and Saturday nights, the employees even wear roller-skates to bring out the food.

“This is just … it feels like a date,” I say, even though Aaron and I have been on plenty before. Still, it’s as if the clock on our relationship has reset; everything feels new and different.

He rolls down all the windows and shuts off the engine, cranking the music just a bit higher before he nods at the dash in front of me.

“There are some joints in there,” Aaron says, and I open it to find several of them in a plastic baggy. “That’s our own strain, Havoc at Prescott High.” He flashes me a self-assured smirk as I open the bag and breathe in the scent. Swear to god, it smells like the hallways of that school on a Monday morning, like a pungent mix of cigarette smoke, cheap perfume, and freshly sharpened pencils.

Even though I hate that school, and I hate this town, there’s something about the smell that makes me feel like I’m right where I’m meant to be.

“I did not fucking know you guys had your own strain, but why am I not surprised by it either?” I ask, putting a joint between my purple-painted lips. My lipstick choice of the day is called Her Beautiful Decay, and it’s a lovely aubergine shade with a bit of sparkle. It taints the beautiful white paper of the joint as Aaron leans over and flicks the wheel on his lighter, igniting the end and filling the car with sweet, white smoke.

Our faces are so close, and his eyes are so intense. With the flame of the lighter still flickering, I can see every variation of color in his irises, from the flecks of metallic gold to the gentle flush of evergreen. My breath catches, and I forget to inhale.

“Bernie, you have to breathe, or it won’t stay lit,” he whispers, even though he knows that I know that. I inhale sharply and he draws back, letting the flame die out on the lighter. Where the flame does not die out, however, is inside of this car. “You know, I’m really glad Victor stopped with his shit today. I want everything to work out for you, for him, for Havoc.” Aaron stops and looks away, toward the car next to us and its fogged windows.

It’s no secret that students come here to eat first, and then fuck later.

The owners of the drive-in are from South Prescott, so they’re well-aware of how things work around here.

Aaron turns back to me, and there’s something different about his face. There’s no less kindness or affection in it, but there is an intensity that I feel like he was holding back before. It’s in his gaze when he looks at me, cutting through the bullshit and stabbing me through the heart like an arrow. Once again, I forget to breathe, and the joint goes out.

Neither of us says a word as he flicks the wheel on the lighter again and leans forward. This time, though, he doesn’t manage to even touch the flame to the joint. Instead, his tattooed right hand finds the back of my neck, and he pulls me forward, forcing me to meet his mouth if I want the privilege of kissing him.

This is the Aaron that I saw on homecoming night, the one that I fucked even though I knew I shouldn’t.

“All I want is to be selfish,” Aaron murmurs, which is very nearly the opposite of what Hael told me. “All I want is for you and me to just cut and run from here, so we can be together, and fuck the rest of the world.” I try to turn away, but Aaron won’t let me. He keeps me there, our mouths pressed close but not quite kissing, not yet. He holds it over me, making me want it even more. “Let’s be selfish tonight, just me and you, Bern. Let’s pretend.”

“We don’t have to pretend, Aaron,” I whisper back, closing my eyes tight and trying to keep my shit together.

Aaron Atlas Fadler.

I once described him as a liar, a cheater, a hypocrite.

But then …

Liar.

He said he loved me, but I thought he didn’t; I see now, in the fierceness of his feral gaze, that I was wrong.

Cheater.

I felt like he betrayed me, cheated on me with a monster worse than a woman, a five-headed hydra named Havoc. Yet, as I sit here now, enveloped in their dark arms, I can see that there was never really another choice. We always have to choose Havoc because it means choosing family.

Hypocrite.

He fucked me the same night he told me I was nothing to him. He stripped my dress off and let me walk home in the dark in nothing but a bra and panties … then later, he tore even those off and took me. Over and over and over again. I asked myself many times if that night was a mistake, but … maybe it wasn’t?

Maybe it was foreshadowing for the direction my life was going to take? The road was never straight and narrow, but we got here, didn’t we? We found each other, even with the sharp turns, the wicked curves, the blind spots, and the accidents in the road.

Aaron Atlas Fadler.

He's worse than all the others.

When I look at him, I’m not just obsessed. I’m anxious to see what we might find around the corner. I’m achy and missing the way his lips tasted when we had our first kiss. Mostly, I’m in love.