Marek (Cold Fury Hockey #11)(34)

I know I have to let it go.

I want to let it go, I swear.

Gracen’s gaze upon me is shrewd and filled with skepticism. I can tell she’s weighing my need for Lilly against her own need for peace between us.

“Gracen…please.” My voice is soft, not quite begging, but I’m most definitely appealing to her softer side. “Just give it a try, and if it’s too hard, you can look for a place. My parents will be back by the end of the week and they’ll be able to help us when our work schedules get tight. They live in this area, so you living out by the hospital would make things more difficult.”

Another tense moment where I hold my breath and her hard gaze. But then her face crumbles as her eyes go soft and relenting. She lets out a breath and murmurs, “Okay. Fine. We’ll give it a try.”

My own breath rushes out in relief as I realize just how important this was to me. “Thank you.”

Her smile is guarded as she nods.

“So would you like to go to the zoo with us today?” I ask her.

I fully expect her to say yes, and I’m disappointed once again when she shakes her head. “Actually, if you don’t mind…I’d like to pass.”

“Why?” I blurt out.

Gracen responds with a tinkling laugh. “Trust me…you’ll get there eventually, but sometimes parents just need breaks. I’m going to just relax and do nothing today.”

I tamp down the small kernel of anger that flares over her words. It’s another potent reminder that Gracen’s had years with Lilly. She’s had so much time with her that she needs and enjoys a break from parenting for a few hours, whereas I want all the time I can get.

But I push it down hard, knowing that I made a promise to Gracen that I wouldn’t be a dick to her. I might still be struggling with some ugly feelings, but I absolutely refuse to take it out on her anymore.

So I give her a return smile. “Sure. No problem.”





Chapter 14


    Gracen


I open the glass door that leads out to a courtyard just off the hospital cafeteria. It’s for anyone to use—patients, visitors, and medical staff—but today all of the tables are filled to capacity since it’s an unseasonably cool day for September in the Carolinas.

Or so I’m told.

Spotting Josie sitting at a round table that seats four, I start winding my way through people. She’d texted me this morning soon after I got to work and we made plans to meet up for a quick lunch. We both work the same 7 A.M. to 7 P.M. shift today.

“I’ve got about twenty minutes,” I say as I plop down in a seat to her right.

“I’ve got about ten,” she returns with a grin, then takes a huge bite of what looks like a tuna fish sandwich.

“Show-off,” I say with a faux grumble in my voice.

Josie snickers while she chews. I open the cellophane wrapper on the ham and cheese sandwich I’d grabbed from the cooler in the cafeteria. The line for the hot food was too long, filled with visitors who had more time than the medical staff did to eat.

As I’m biting into my sandwich, Josie is swallowing. She wastes none of her ten minutes. “How are things going with you and Marek?”

I ignore the true meaning behind her question and focus on generalities. “It was really nice having his parents in this weekend to meet Lilly. She really took to them.”

That distracts her enough to let go of Marek. Her eyebrows furrow slightly. “How was it with them?”

“They were far nicer to me than I deserved.”

Josie’s look of concern turns into one of dismissal. “You deserve to have everyone treat you nicely, Gracen.”

“Maybe so. But I also deserve some of their anger.”

“But you didn’t get it?” she asks.

I shake my head. “They were so sweet and forgiving.”

“Marek could take a lesson or two from his parents,” Josie mutters.

“Actually,” I say as I pick at the crust on my sandwich. “He asked me to stay at the house rather than move into an apartment. Promised me he wouldn’t be a dick.”

Josie’s eyebrow raises. “Well, well. This is a nice turnabout.”

“Maybe.” My noncommittal tone must contain what Josie takes as a secret message, because both her eyebrows shoot up.

She leans over the table and murmurs, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. Now spill,” she growls at me.

I throw my hands up in the air and exclaim loudly, “Fine. He kissed me.”

The people at the surrounding tables all turn their heads to look at me. My face flushes with heat and I duck my head. Leaning toward Josie, I mutter, “He, like, really kissed me and I kissed him back.”

“So are you two…like back together?”

Shaking my head, I disabuse her of that notion. “No way. The kiss came on the heels of another argument where he was mad at me for keeping Lilly a secret. It was nothing more than him channeling that anger into something else.”

“What was it for you?” she asks, her head tilted curiously.

God, it had nothing to do with anger for me. I kissed Marek back because I still loved him and loved that he was now trying to be a great dad to Lilly. I kissed him because I want him in all ways a woman can want a man.