Marek (Cold Fury Hockey #11)(21)

I can’t help the tiny moan. Man, that tastes like heaven, and I’ll be making this recipe again.

“You’re not an idiot,” Josie says with such assurance someone might believe it. But not me.

She pushes up from her stool and grabs the bottle of wine. “Where’s the corkscrew?”

I point to a drawer beside the sink.

“Glasses? And regular glasses are fine. We don’t need fancy stuff.”

I point to a cabinet.

When Josie is back at the counter, she uncorks the wine and pours our drinks. After taking a liberal sip, she nods at me. “Okay. Lay it all on me.”

I set my fork down and take a sip of the wine myself. Then another just for good measure.

“It just got out of control so fast,” I tell her. “I accepted his invitation for a date. I’d known him since high school, and while I didn’t care for him then, he’d seemed to mature. Had a bigwig job at the bank his father runs, so I thought, why not? I was tired of being alone.”

Josie nods at me in sympathy. “Girl, you don’t know how much I can relate to that, but that’s another story for another time. Go on.”

“So I went on a handful of dates with him,” I continue with a glum voice. “And they were good. Fine. He seemed nice. He was attentive and kind to Lilly. I mean, there weren’t major sparks, but it was fine.”

“He sounds boring as shit,” Josie mutters.

I can’t agree with that, because he was anything but boring. He was intense and intimidating. I was always on my toes around him.

“My parents took out a second mortgage with the bank his father works at to pay for my degree. About a year ago, my dad got laid off from his job and then he injured his back. For one reason or another, he couldn’t find a job, and once the savings ran dry, the note went into default.”

“Let me guess,” Josie says knowingly. “Owen stepped in and helped.”

“His father is the bank president. At first it was a thirty-day extension when they requested it. Then another. The entire time, he was upping his romance game with me. He started getting serious and dropped hints about marriage. There was no way I was marrying him, but I felt so trapped. He was helping my parents out…pulling strings. So I just sort of played along. I strung him along to be exact.”

Josie’s eyebrows raise, but her expression is sympathetic and nonjudgmental. She nods at me to continue.

“Until I couldn’t string him along anymore,” I admit to her. “His romantic proposal including a long-winded discussion about how his wife’s family would never have to worry about anything in the future. The implication was clear, and to prove himself, he got the note put into a temporary deferral. I knew if I didn’t say yes, my parents would lose everything.”

“What a shitbag,” Josie mutters.

“God, I was stupid.” The lament in my voice is painful to my ears. “He didn’t love me and I knew that. I didn’t love him either. I should have never let him bully me into it. I mean…my parents would never have wanted me sacrificing myself to help them out, but I just couldn’t stomach the thought of them losing their house when they put it at risk for my college education.”

“Why did he do it?” Josie muses out loud. “I mean, you’re gorgeous and sweet and smart, so I get the attraction, but why force a marriage that clearly wasn’t based on love?”

“I have no idea.” My voice is heavy and defeated, matching exactly how I always felt when trying to pull away from Owen’s pressures. “Our relationship was lukewarm at best. We didn’t…um…take things all the way. I wouldn’t. Pretended to hold out for marriage because I just wasn’t attracted to him in that way. How fucked up is that?”

“Sounds almost obsessive to me,” Josie says thoughtfully.

“I just don’t know. Stepping away from him—having distance between us—I look back on it and it just seems surreal. Like that really couldn’t have been me, on the verge of walking down the aisle with someone I didn’t really love.”

“You were doing it to protect your parents,” Josie reminds me gently.

“They would be so disappointed in me if they knew that’s why I was doing it.” They never had a clue.

Josie reaches out and takes my hand, giving it a quick squeeze of affirmation. “Where do things stand now with them?”

“Owen gave me two weeks to come back. Wants to get the wedding done, and he’s accelerated my parents’ note again.”

“Marek would—”

“No,” I say with a hard shake of my head. “He doesn’t know and I don’t want him to know. I was so stupid to get into that mess, and he already thinks I’m a nut job for keeping Lilly from him. I just can’t take any more of his condescension right now.”

I can tell by the look in her eyes she wants to argue with me. That she wants to advocate for Marek, believing in the goodness of his heart. And maybe he would offer to help me out, but I can’t ask him. I have no right to expect anything of him other than being a good dad to our daughter.

“How much is owed on the note?” Josie asks, seeming to accept my rebuff of Marek.

“Just a little under fifty thousand,” I tell her, then take in a deep breath. “So back to your original question about the job…yes, I’m interested. With a salary, perhaps I could work out some type of payments with the bank on their behalf. It wouldn’t be much, because I’d have living expenses—rent and such here—but maybe that could forestall the note going into default.”