Marek (Cold Fury Hockey #11)(19)
I shake my head hard in denial of what this all might mean to me.
Reed’s comment about me being nicer to Gracen hangs heavy in the air. I don’t feel like addressing it because I know he’s right and he knows I know he’s right. No sense in hashing it out.
“I hear what you’re saying,” I admit to him. “And I’m working on the anger thing with Gracen.”
Jesus…last night I wasn’t angry at all with her. Last night I wanted to be buried inside her body.
Reed nods at me, his eyes expressing he’s done meddling in our lives. But he’s not done talking. “So how’s it going with you and Lilly?”
I shake my head with a small smile. “That kid is amazing, and I’m trying to figure out how to communicate with her. She’s so little I think she doesn’t know much, but she’s smart as shit. Sometimes it’s like talking to a miniature adult.”
Chuckling, Reed leans back against the counter. “You’ve got a lot of fun times ahead of you, brother.”
“I think so,” I say neutrally. I’m afraid to even think that way, as I’m still pretty much scared shitless because I have no clue what I’m doing.
“When are you going to tell everyone?” Reed asks.
I groan and look up to the ceiling. “Shit, man. I don’t even want to have to deal with that. I’ll have to tell the team, of course. And my parents. I’ve been trying to figure out how to lay this on them.”
Reed scoffs at my hesitation. “They’ll be thrilled, dude. You know that.”
Yes, my parents are going to go nuts when they find out they have a granddaughter. More so because they’re both retired and live here in Raleigh during the cold months. They’ve become official Cold Fury traveling fans and go to most of my games both home and away. My dad was an investment advisor and was damn good at it. He doesn’t have to work another day in his life and now he and my mom would like nothing more than to be full-time grandparents. They won’t be leaving New York to come down here until late November, and I can’t wait that long to tell them. In fact, it’s got to be something I do sooner rather than later, and knowing my parents, they will want to come down immediately and meet Lilly.
I have to figure out how to explain Gracen keeping this from me, though. For some reason, I don’t want them to be mad at her the way I am.
Or was. Not sure I still am.
Fuck, this is confusing, and I’m tired of thinking about it.
Tired of thinking about my anger and how to be a good dad. Tired of thinking about the years I lost with my daughter, and while it doesn’t necessarily tire me out to think about it, I sure as hell would like to forget about the images of me almost kissing Gracen last night.
I would like to stop thinking about her like that completely, but I know it’s probably not likely.
So I pick the sledgehammer back up once again and tell him, “Let’s get this shit knocked out.”
Reed nods in understanding.
This conversation is over for now.
Chapter 8
Gracen
The doorbell rings and I take a quick peek in the oven. My quiche is starting to brown nicely on top, so I turn the gas off before cutting through the dining room to the front foyer.
Josie stands on the other side of the door when I open it, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a bag of Hershey Kisses in the other.
“I have to say, your wine and chocolate sound a lot better than the quiche I have in the oven,” I say dryly as I step back to let her in.
Josie chuckles as she enters and then gives me a wink. “Quiche sounds wonderful. We’ll drink wine with it and have the chocolate for dessert.”
“I like the way you think,” I tell her with a grin, and she follows me back into the kitchen.
“Where’s Lilly?” she asks as she sets her gifts on the counter and plops down one of the stools at the L-shaped island.
“It’s her nap time,” I say as I use oven mitts to pull the quiche out. “I put her down a little early after we made lunch plans.”
Said lunch plans were unexpected and a joy to receive. Josie had called me not long after Marek had slunk out of the house this morning to go help one of his teammates.
And yes, he slunk. He felt like shit for judging me, as well he should. But I let it go, knowing that he doesn’t understand hardly anything about being a parent. It made me brood while I lingered over coffee and Lilly ate pancakes. Trying to reconcile angry Marek with judgmental Marek, and trying to reconcile those two Mareks with the one who tried to seduce me last night.
Josie was a nice distraction. She asked if we could do lunch today, and I invited her over to the house because I had intended to try this new quiche recipe I’d formulated in my mind. It’s full of spinach, goat cheese, and feta cheese and I hope it tastes all right.
Smells all right for sure.
“So there’s a job opening at the hospital where I work,” Josie says out of the blue, and I almost drop the quiche. I set it down on top of the stove and drop the mitts on the counter as I turn to face her. “It’s not neonatal, but they are searching for a labor and delivery nurse. In fact, the job hasn’t even been posted publicly yet, but feelers were put out to staff for any personal recommendations.”
“Okay,” I say hesitantly.