Maame(17)

Claire looks away. “Maddie, needless to say, Katherine no longer feels you’re suited for the role as her PA.”

I blink and shake my head. “You’re firing me?”

Claire leans in and I can smell the citrus in her perfume. “No, we’re not, but Katherine does feel the two of you are no longer compatible and has decided she needs someone … more equipped. Someone who would spot something like this coming.”

What, a psychic?

“Someone who can anticipate her thoughts, rather than wait to be told. To know when she might need a coffee instead of a tea. Someone who can ensure her workspace is clutter-free at all times. Unlocking her office door before she arrives. We all know Katherine is fragile and struggling a bit, so it’s really about taking care of the little things she doesn’t want to think about, just to alleviate the pressure. She needs—”

“A carer?”

Claire and Ellie simultaneously blush.

“We just think you’re more suited to an independent role and that’s admirable!” Claire says.

My supposed line manager Ellie just sits there, hunched forward with her hands in her lap, looking everywhere but at me.

I catch my reflection in the window, release the tension in my forehead. “I’m being fired?”

“As it’s a sudden termination in contract, we’ll pay you for the weeks in the month you have worked, including today,” Claire says, “and I can promise you, Maddie, should you need a letter of recommendation, I will write you a stellar one.”

“We all know Katherine’s been struggling for a while now,” Ellie finally says. She clears her throat. “You shouldn’t take it personally.”

I press my lips together and briefly consider spitting in her eye but decide that would be disgusting and maybe assault. Plus, lucky for her, my mouth is completely dry.

“You don’t have to leave right this minute,” Claire says. “You can stay in here for a while, if you’d like…” But she leans back into her chair, presentation over. Any questions?

I again look at them each in turn and the word “fake” springs to mind. It wasn’t long ago Katherine was screaming at me because of calendar clashes she’d caused. As soon as Katherine had gone to her next meeting, they both came rushing to my side, telling me how unacceptable it was, how out of line Katherine had been and was I all right? Are you sure you’re all right, Maddie? I’d felt like they were on my side, and it had made that afternoon disappear quicker. Little did I know, they didn’t give a shit.

“I think I’ll leave now.”

They each sigh with relief.



* * *



“Fuck. I’ve just been fired.”

No one pays any attention to the woman with wide eyes standing under a bridge, talking to herself.

I look back in the direction of the theater, at the doors I was, to all intents and purposes, kicked out of. I look out at the stream of pedestrians around me; everyone is just going about their day.

Having nothing to do on a weekday has never happened to me before. Whenever I take days off, it’s not to rest but to get other things done: doctor appointments, washing my hair, immigration office visits when we realized Dad’s visa had expired. Even yesterday saw me cleaning the house and sorting through bills whenever Dad slept.

God, I can’t tell Mum I’ve been fired. There exists no greater shame in her mind than forced unemployment. She’d think it was my fault because there’s always a reason someone is fired. What reason do I give her? A missed invite in Katherine’s calendar that I didn’t even accept? She’d never believe me.

Understandably. Because aren’t you supposed to get fired for atrocities like sleeping with the married boss, embezzling money or, you know, murder? All that had died in that office was my will to live; all I did was … I’m still not clear on what I did or didn’t do, but I know it didn’t warrant immediate dismissal. I still had my midmorning snack in my bag. Had I even taken my jacket off since I shrugged it on this morning?

I shuffle on the spot before heading back into the train station. I sit and wait for the 9:33 A.M. train. I have never gotten on the 9:33 A.M. train. At least the carriages will be empty.

Google: What to do when you’ve been fired

Shit! You’ve been fired! Here’s what you need to do next:

Rejoice—you’re free from the repressing, grinding perpetual cog of capitalism.

Search for a new job—you may want to return to the repressing, grinding perpetual cog of capitalism, and that’s okay. It’s never too early or too soon to dust off the old CV and start looking for new jobs. The sooner, the better.

Make a claim to the employment tribunal (p.s. it is a faff and it’s unlikely you’ll win the case) and/or submit a grievance—if you have been unjustly fired, this is the best way to stick it to the man who did the firing.

Start budgeting—because, let’s face it, you’re broke now, or at least will be once you realize your next paycheck won’t come until after interviews, job acceptance, and a full month of employment.



I try a different search result.

What to do after you’ve been fired

Ask for a written and signed statement explaining your termination

Seek unemployment benefits