Maame(16)

“Oh.” I frown. “I’m not actually sure.”

Jo tilts her head, and I wonder if I’ve failed the interview. She smiles. “Still finding out who you are?” she asks.

I consider her question. “I think I’m just starting to learn, actually.”



* * *



On my way home, Jo messages to say that after a phone call with Cam, they’ve decided the room is mine if I want it.

And I do—the only problem is, they need someone ASAP.

My options are to miss out on the room or start paying rent in a week’s time. Although it’s a great flat, this isn’t a decision to take lightly. I really have to consider whether—

Mum Ghana

Maddie a friend of mine has a son who is now single. His girlfriend died enough time ago. I’ll give him your number so the 2 of you can talk. Thanks.



I send Jo the deposit straight from my savings account.



* * *



It’s not my day to give Dad his dinner and medication, but I text Dawoud that I will tonight, though if he can still come to put Dad to bed that would be great. Even with the prescription painkillers, my back still pinches slightly when I reach down.

I make lasagna from scratch, taking out the cooked beef mince I made yesterday and layering the pasta with it, alternating with yogurt-based white sauce. I plate up a piece and add the usual side salad. “Time for dinner, Dad!” I gently kick the door open since my hands are full. “I made lasagna.”

“Oh, goody,” Dad says. He smiles widely but isn’t looking directly at me.

I feed him small bites and we watch a football match. I say, “Mum’s back on Thursday. Hopefully she’ll cook all your favorites.”

I feed him another forkful and take a deep breath.

“So I’m going to be moving out soon.”

He continues to chew his food and watch the TV.

“I’m going to be leaving home, Dad,” I say. “To live somewhere else? Is that okay?”

Then I feel mean, as if I’m tricking him with the word “okay.”

He says, “Hmmm,” but chews a little slower.

I lower the fork I was going to offer him. My heart gently beats. “Can I?” I ask quietly. “Can I go, Dad?”

He stops chewing and frowns. He’s trying to speak, but as usual right before his meds, his brain won’t allow him to form the words that must be on the tip of his tongue.

“It’s a flat in Wandsworth,” I say, offering him more food. My eyes are suddenly stinging and my voice is a touch deeper. “Remember our first house in Battersea? Well, it’s walking distance from there.”

I give him some salad and a player on the TV scores a goal.

“I’m not leaving until Mum’s back, but you’ll hardly notice I’m gone!”

His face is blank.

“I’ll be coming to see you lots, to check up on you, okay?”

He nods.

There’s something about a penalty, but I have no idea who it’s been awarded to.

I stare at Dad, and he’s closed his eyes, so I put his tray down. I place my hand gently on top of his. I pat it softly then reach for his evening medicine packet.





Chapter Five


“Maddie, can we speak for a moment?”

I’ve only stepped through the office doors and almost walk straight into Ellie. It’s obvious she’s been standing there waiting for me.

“Sure.”

I walk to my desk, but Ellie tightens her messy bun, adjusts her glasses and says, “No. Erm, in a meeting room.”

I frown. “Is something wrong?”

“We can talk more when we’re in there.”

There’s a sudden pit in my stomach I can’t attach to anything tangible. Naturally, I think of everything I’ve done wrong in my life up until this point.

“Can I put my things down?” I ask.

Ellie looks at Claire, who’s just joined us, ponytail forever-swinging. “It’s all right if you want to bring them with you,” Claire says.

I follow them to the meeting room two doors down in silence and take a seat. My heart beats erratically, and I’m beginning to sweat.

Claire closes the door and attempts to smile. The two of them take seats opposite me. Claire speaks first. “An incident arose yesterday when you were off.”

“Yes,” I start. “I…” My voice wavers and I cough. I booked the day off to spend with Dad, but I don’t want to tell them that. “I’d booked the day off in advance.”

“We know. That’s not the problem,” Claire says. “Yesterday morning, Katherine had an external appointment in her diary. She made it to the supposed location—two hours away.”

I look at both Claire and Ellie in turn; I can’t even guess where this is going.

“It turns out the date of the meeting had changed,” Claire continues, “but you didn’t amend her diary. Katherine returned to the office, in the afternoon, very … out of sorts and we all know how temperamental and delicate she is at the moment.”

I sigh, relieved. There has been a mistake, after all. “I didn’t put anything into her diary for yesterday morning,” I explain. “And I made sure her day made sense before the weekend. I wasn’t told before then that any timings had changed. Did she accept an amended invitation that went directly to her or something?”