Love Songs & Other Lies(54)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

NOW





CAM


Vee’s been getting almost daily phone calls from her mom the last two weeks, and every time I try to ask her about it, she shuts me down. She either acts like she didn’t hear me, or gives me some two-word answer like “checking in” or “saying hello.”

Her phone rings for the third time today. “Hi, Mom … just a second.” She wanders away from Anders and me in the lounge, walking into the kitchen before she continues.

Instead of giving her space, like I usually do, I follow her. In the kitchen, I open the tiny fridge, pull out a string cheese, and sit down across from her. She dips her head down as she talks, like that’s going to stop me from hearing her one-sided conversation.

“They have the measurements, right?… Then I’m sure it’ll be fine … Yes, I’ll check it as soon as I’m home … I’m sure I did it right … Yes … Then we’ll get it fixed right away … I’m sure, Mom … No, just me … I’ll double check, yes … I’ll see you soon … Love you, too.”

“Mom again?” I ask.

She nods.

“What’s going on? I don’t remember her needing daily checkins.”

“Because you knew her so well?” Vee says it casually, like a sarcastic joke, but it stings.

She starts to stand, but I get up first. “No.” I hold my hand out in front of her, suddenly pissed off. “Let me.”





VIRGINIA


When I walk into the lounge, Logan is giving me his annoying “you’re being a bitch” face, which he breaks out every time I talk to Cam. “You need to cut him a break,” he says. “Jeez, back off once in a while.” Cam just walked off, but I can see him through the bus window, pacing on the concrete with his hands shoved in his pockets.

“You back off. You don’t know anything about it,” I say.

“Vee, come on. I know.”

“You know what?”

He looks outside at Cam, and then at me. “I KNOW.” And the way he yells it, I know exactly what he means. “And I can’t believe you’ve seriously gone this long without telling me yourself.”

He’s right. And he has every right to be mad at me, but I’m too pissed to care. Right now, on this bus, Logan is the one who made the bigger mistake.

“And when exactly did you start knowing this?” I ask. I suppose the more accurate question is, when did Cam decide to share all the gory details with you? With my best friend.

Logan rarely gets angry with me. Usually when we fight, we just avoid each other until we cool off, but his face is red now, and his voice is harsh. “When did I know you were in love with him, or when did I know he was in love with you? Because—”

“Stop it.” Why is he being such a jerk about this?

“—I knew you loved him the day I found you huddled on your bed.”

“Logan—”

“And I knew he loved you at band practice, when he let you drive that stupid fucking car.”

“God, you’re an asshole.”

“Sometimes, yeah. Just like sometimes you can be a real bitch.”

I shove his chest, pushing him until he falls back onto the couch. “You’re an asshole for bringing me here.” Logan grabs my arm and yanks me down next to him on the couch. He still has my wrist, and I jab my elbow into his stomach. Not hard enough to hurt him, but enough to elicit a low moan of annoyance. “You knew and you still brought me here.” Tad is coming down the aisle and I stop struggling. As he passes us with the camera, I lean into Logan’s shoulder like we’re having a private conversation. It will probably look sweet and loving on film, not like we’re a pair of ten-year-old siblings fighting. More lies.

Logan whispers, “Face him.”

I face Cam every single day. Seeing his face is a direct assault on my heart.

“You need to do this, Vee.”

“Do what?” I spit, because I truly don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Why do I have to do anything? “I don’t owe him anything, Logan.”

“Do whatever you want. Just do something.”

*

I’m sitting in the back of the bus, scribbling lyrics, when Cam sits down across from me in the tiny booth. Eyes on my notebook, I tell myself I can just ignore him. This is shared space, so I can’t ask him to leave, but I don’t have to chitchat with him. Maybe, for once, he’ll get the hint and go away.

I twist in the aisle to look toward the front of the bus, where Logan and Anders are practicing in the lounge while Tad watches them, camera in hand. For a few more minutes the music fills the air, then I hear the breathy airlock of the bus door, and everyone is gone. Even Tad, and Tad never leaves.

“Where did they go?” I ask, before I can remind myself that I’m not talking to him.

Cam crosses his arms over his chest. “Out,” he says. “So now we can finally talk.”

This isn’t a coincidence. I stand, and he mirrors me, blocking the narrow aisle with his body. “Cam, come on.” I move to the other side and he does the same.

“I have things to say. So don’t talk if you don’t want to. Just listen.”