Living Out Loud (Austen, #3)(80)

Everything had changed in one night with a few words and a kiss.

When we reached her building, I kissed her on the sidewalk, kissed her like my life depended on it, kissed her like I’d never see her again, like I needed to brand my name on her heart so she wouldn’t forget me. And as we kissed, the snow began to fall.

The wonderment on her face when she saw her first snow was perhaps the loveliest thing I’d ever seen in my life.

We took a picture with her little camera, kissing goodbye once more before she finally went inside. I stood on the sidewalk with my hands in my coat pockets as I watched her walk into the building, waving back when she looked over her shoulder before passing through the doors.

Only then did I ride away.

By the time I made it home, I was exhausted and freezing and happy beyond measure. The house was asleep, and the shower was long and hot. And once I lay down in bed, there was no keeping me awake.



I woke a few hours later, feeling groggy and hungry for more sleep, but the second Annie touched my thoughts, I was fully alert. I reached for my phone, finding a text from her that was only a few minutes old.

Heading to Wasted Words. Text me when you’re up. <3

I smiled, but the expression faded as I thought about her meeting Will. Everything had happened so fast, and part of me still wondered if she might change her mind. Will talked a good game, and Annie took everything at face value.

It was a quality I loved about her just as much as I found it dangerous.

I texted her back to wish her luck before I sighed and climbed out of bed.

Sarah was sitting in the quiet living room, surrounded by textbooks. A spiral notebook lay on her thighs, and she looked up from jotting in it. “Hey. You slept late.”

“Long night.” I sat in the armchair next to the couch. “Where is everybody?”

“Tim’s sawing logs, and Dad ran to the store. Well, maybe not ran, but you know.”

I smiled, imagining Dad running to do anything.

“So was it a good long night or a bad one?”

“Started off bad, ended good. Very good.”

Her brows rose. “Oh?”

“Me and Annie.”

A smile broke out on her face. “Oh my God, are you serious?”

I nodded, feeling like a million bucks. “It’s a long story, but yeah. She’s dumping Will now.”

Sarah’s face paled. “Is she?”

“Yeah, at the bookstore. He wanted to apologize for being a dick and getting kicked out of the bar last night, and she thought she should break up with him in person.”

The color kept draining from her face.

I frowned. “You okay?”

She cleared her throat and looked at her notebook like she might find a suitable response there. “Yeah. For sure.”

“That was real convincing.”

She tried to smile. “Just feels familiar, that’s all. Will doesn’t always take no for an answer.”

My heart jolted. “What do you mean?”

“Just that…he’s used to getting his way. And when he wants something, he’s not one to let it go.”

“Do you think he’s going to push her? Fight for her?”

“He won’t fight for anything but himself and what he thinks is owed to him.”

I ran a hand over my mouth, worried and filled with dread. But, the more I thought about it, the surer I was of one thing. “Annie won’t go back to him.”

She didn’t say anything; her bottom lip was busy, pinned between her teeth.

“I mean, what’s the worst he could do? They’re in public—our friends are there.”

She took a breath that skipped in her chest, the sound dangerously close to a sob, a sound that sent a cold shot of fear through me.

“Sarah, what are you not telling me?”

Her throat worked, fingers pressed to her lips. She shook her head. “It’s…I wanted to tell you before. I should have told you before, but I didn’t know if it would change anything.”

“Told me what?” I asked, the words as quiet as the eye of a storm.

Sarah moved her notebook and leaned over. “It’s just that I’ve never told anyone. And when you said Annie was with him…” She shook her head. “If we had been alone, I probably would have said it, but then…then it felt too late.”

“Said what?”

“I never told you what really happened that night, the night of the party.”

A tingling numbness climbed down my arms to my fingers, up my neck to my face as she spoke.

“You know that before that night, I’d been planning to break up with him, but the time was never right. I never knew what to say. I was afraid I’d lose so much more than him. I had a thousand excuses, and none of them mattered in the end.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “We went to that party and ended up in a huge fight. And I was so mad, so over it, I just blurted out that I was through. I was through fighting, through being controlled by him, fed up beyond the point of caring about the repercussions.

“We were in the middle of arguing about it when he finally realized I was serious, and he just…changed. I thought at the time that he was calm, resigned, accepting even. He told me we could be friends and that we should enjoy the party. And I was so relieved that I took the drink he’d offered and the one after without a second thought.”