Leaving Amarillo(57)
Dallas is texting on his phone off to the side of the stage when I look up and realize that the bar is full.
“Um, D?” I call out. “Think maybe we should play some music or something?”
Dallas looks up from his phone and grins at the crowd. “Or something. You ready, Garrison?”
“Let’s do this,” Gavin answers, lowering himself onto his stool. He taps out the count and I play my opener. A montage of this past week plays behind my eyes. The waitress at Mangieri’s, Gavin blowing into my room like a tornado, the kiss outside of the storage space, him licking ice cream from my stomach, straddling him in his friend’s car, his mom slapping him, the look in his eye when he slipped my extra room key into his pocket.
I pour everything I’m feeling into Oz—the confusion, the lust, the pain, the need, and the excitement that is beyond anything I have ever felt before. I’m alive. I’m so alive in this moment that I’m almost outside of myself looking in.
It’s times like this, times when I’m on, giving it my all as my bow dances across the strings like it has a mind of its own, that I feel like I can fly. Leave this stage, this crowd, this world even, and ascend to a higher plane.
The deafening kick of Gavin’s drums beats steadily along with my pounding heart while Dallas’s guitar strums a rhythmic river flooding my veins and carrying me across the stage. The sound lifts and holds me while I play my heart out. The music flows around us and into me, lighting every single cell my body is composed of on fire from my toes to my head until I am blazing with the heat of it.
The section of the audience that my eyes can reach is cast in a neon blue glow with hues of red streaking on the periphery. The colors are as vibrant as I feel and would be distracting if I weren’t playing, but I am focused. I am one with my instrument and its rich sound is so much a part of me it’s as if it’s coming from inside my soul instead of from the fiddle on my shoulder.
We take the audience on a fever-dream roller coaster of emotions with our sound. Dallas likes to begin and end on fast-paced songs and weave the slower ones through the middle. “Whiskey Redemption” comes just after a string of reworked R&B hits that had everyone singing along. We play “Ring of Fire” and then my favorite Adele hit. All three of us chime in on the vocals for our version of “Love Runs Out,” playing it like a game of round-robin.
My favorite song is up next and I feel electric and on fire while we play it. It’s a mash-up of a song called “Whataya Want from Me” and another called “Beneath Your Beautiful.” It’s our most downloaded cover online. Took me forever to get Dallas to agree to it and even longer for the three of us to get the timing right. But the hard work was worth it. I can see it on the faces in the crowd.
We play Dallas’s favorite drinking song, one he wrote himself, and then our set ends with our updated version of “When You Leave Amarillo.” The applause is so loud it vibrates through to my core and the sensation is electrifying. It’s a serious struggle to catch my breath. We bow and thank the largest, most enthusiastic crowd we’ve ever played for and escape backstage. I’m not even sure if my feet are touching the ground as we step off the stage.
My brother is immediately swept into a darkened corner by some suit chatting him up, a potential manager probably. But Gavin is right behind me. He’s so close I can practically taste his adrenaline high as acutely as my own.
“That was amazing,” I breathe, turning to face him. “I think it might’ve been better than sex.”
He stops tapping his drumsticks on his knee and pins me with his stare. His hazel gaze darkens as he backs me into the hallway and out of my brother’s line of sight. “That was amazing because you were amazing.”
The dim lights backstage are reflected in his pupils, making him look almost possessed, otherworldly. Somewhere the next act is being introduced and my brother is shaking hands and making a deal that will change the course of the rest of our lives. But here, where I am right now, Gavin Garrison is making love to me with his eyes. And I don’t want him to stop. Ever.
Lowering his head enough that his lips are almost touching mine, he says the words that send my already racing heart into overdrive and halt my ability to form coherent thoughts. “But if you think that was anywhere near better than sex, those pretty boys you’ve been screwing around with have been doing it all wrong.”
Chapter 20
“LET’S GO,” DALLAS CALLS OUT, PULLING GAVIN BACK WITH HIS words. “Mandy is having a drink with some of her associates over in the Warehouse District. I told her we’d meet her after the show.”
The band playing after us, one I haven’t heard of before and that plays harder stuff than we do, has already begun playing loud enough to make my entire body throb along with the bass.
“Who were you talking to just now?” Gavin asks my brother as we follow him out of the heavily crowded bar.
“Dave Lenard. He’s kind of like Mandy’s boss. He’s the CEO of Red Light. He said he enjoyed the show, wanted to make sure we were on board.”
After loading all of our equipment into the van, I take one last look at Austin. The bright lights glowing against the night. I breathe in rain-drenched air and look at the turbulent sky. Heat lightning dances across the blackness like strobe lights in a club.