Lady Gone Wicked (Wicked Secrets)(56)

Nick gave a sudden start.

“The bodies were all so small, no bigger than a child’s doll. They weren’t clothed or wrapped in cloth or…” Her voice trailed off as she struggled with the memory. “The graves were unmarked. I used to walk there and leave flowers where the earth had been moved. I…I don’t think the other mothers knew what became of their babies. There were whispers that the babies did not die in childbirth, but only after…after the mothers had left the cloister. I was sickened by the thought that one day my own baby might be among them. Oh, God, I was so frightened!” She pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle her sobs.

Nick reached for her, but she brushed him aside. She couldn’t accept his comfort. Not yet. Not before she had gotten to the worst of it.

“I told you one of the maids took pity on me and told me about the kind woman in Epsom.”

Nick nodded. “Jane.”

“What I didn’t tell you was, I left before I gave birth.”

His lips parted in surprise. “But…”

She quickly went on. “It was easy to sneak away, and I knew rather than face unpleasant inquiries, the nuns would say I had died. I sold all the possessions I had with me, except my locket, where I kept your portrait. I used the money to pay for my passage to Epsom, and the rest I gave to the maid. And…you know the rest. Miss Sherwood took me in.”

Nick’s back had gone straight as a ramrod, his face colorless. “And the babe?”

She hesitated. After all, perhaps…no. She must.

“James.”

“James. Is our…son?” he asked slowly.

“Yes,” she whispered.

He touched his forehead, a thousand different emotions passing through his expression. “You named him after your father.”

She nodded. “This past winter was brutal, and spring came late. The farm couldn’t feed the three of us. It was urgent I find money. So I came to Hampshire to find work, and found you instead. I thought…I hoped…”

“That’s why you asked for the money,” he said flatly. His eyes went cold as ice. “You should have told me then. But instead you left him. You left our son. What will happen to him after you marry Montrose? Will you send Miss Sherwood a monthly income to care for him?”

Adelaide flinched. “I hope Montrose will allow James to live with us. I needn’t tell him about James’s parentage, only that his mother died and he was sent to me.”

“The hell you will.” The words were low and fierce.

She froze.

“I love him,” she said quietly.

Nick tilted his head, his lip curling in a sneer. “You said the same about me. And yet you left him to another woman, helpless babe though he be. And you left me for another man. It’s a strange way you have of loving, Adelaide. I want none of it.”

The small hope that she kept snuggled in her heart withered and died.

She knew she deserved that.

And then he left her there, in a messy heap of crumpled silk and tears.

But she deserved that, too.





Chapter Forty


The good thing about sisters was that one could always depend on them for comfort and love even when one deserved nothing of the sort.

Adelaide found herself encircled by familiar arms so like her own, stroking her gently as she sobbed. “He hates me, Alice. I told him everything, and now he hates me. What do I do?”

“We go home. We have tea. We leave all decisions for the morning.” Alice drew small, soothing circles on her back. “Or we could reconsider my idea to boil him in oil. It was a good one, I think.”

Adelaide choked on a sob. “Tea sounds good.”

Alice helped her to her feet, and she shook out her skirts. Her dress was wrinkled, but perhaps no one would notice. The same could not be said of her face. She did not need a mirror to show her that her skin was a blotchy red and her eyes puffy. “How shall I leave? I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”

There was the sound of a masculine throat clearing behind her. Her heart sank as she slowly turned.

Abingdon…and Wessex.

Her humiliation was complete.

“Perhaps I may be of assistance, Miss Bursnell?” Wessex said. “I happen to know of several ways to escape my home undetected.”

Well, if the duke must bear witness to her disgrace, at least he would be useful.

“Abingdon will see to your cloaks and carriage. Shall we find Lady Westsea?”

Dear God.

The thought of facing her mother just now filled Adelaide with dread. She looked at her sister in desperation.

“Perhaps it would be better to sneak away on our own and send the carriage back for her,” Alice suggested.

Abingdon nodded and turned to go. He squeezed Alice’s arm gently as he passed her. She frowned at him, and guilt flashed over his face. Adelaide had the sudden thought that he would be in trouble later, but she had no idea why. It was hardly his fault Nick had behaved badly.

For he had behaved badly. The fog of pain had lifted somewhat, allowing Adelaide to see more clearly. And what she saw was that he had seduced her…again…and left her…again.

Intolerable.

Well. Perhaps the seduction part could be tolerated. She had been nothing if not a willing participant.