Klara and the Sun(71)
‘Nearly time, Rick darling. I suppose we ought to go out there now.’
When I heard her say this, a fear filled my mind; I was no longer certain that the effects from what had occurred in the yard weren’t growing more pronounced with the passing minutes, and that my new condition wouldn’t become obvious to everyone if I attempted to negotiate the unfamiliar terrain outdoors.
‘I do wonder,’ Miss Helen was saying, ‘when Vance suggested meeting outside a theater, if he realized there might be a show about to start and a crowd gathering. We should go out there. He might come early and the crowd will confuse him.’
Rick placed a hand on Josie’s shoulder and asked quietly: ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Josie?’
‘I swear I’m okay. So you go and do your best, Ricky boy. That’s what I’m wanting more than anything.’
‘That’s right,’ the Father said. ‘And just remember. You’ve got talent. Well, maybe we should all leave now.’
He rose to his feet, and as he did so, his gaze fell on me, examining me more carefully than would have been normal. I immediately became worried the others would notice, even though the incision was well hidden under my hair. Then the Father’s gaze moved once more to Josie.
‘Animal, we need to get you back. Let’s go and find your mother.’
* * *
—
As we came out of the sushi cafe, the Sun was making his final patterns for the day, and I let go of any small hope that he might send his special help in the short time remaining. I could now hear without hindrance the theater people’s voices and music, and noticed how the streetlight outside the theater entrance was becoming their main light source. Indeed, for a moment, I thought the theater people were trying to circle around the streetlight in a previously agreed formation, but then their pattern dissolved and I saw that the crowd’s shape was shifting randomly.
The Father and Miss Helen were a few paces in front of me, striding towards the crowd, while Rick and Josie were just behind, walking so close that had I been obliged to halt suddenly, they would have collided with me. I could hear Josie saying:
‘No, Rick, later. I’ll tell you about it then. Let’s just say for now Mom’s having one of her definitely weird days.’
‘But what did she say? What’s going on?’
‘Look, Ricky, it’s not what’s important right now. What’s important is this guy you’re about to meet and what you’re going to say to him.’
‘But I can see you’re upset…’
‘I’m not upset, Ricky. But I will get upset, absolutely upset, if you don’t focus and do your very best with this guy. This is important. Important for you and important for us.’
I’d thought that once I was no longer observing them through glass, the theater people would become more distinct. But now I was in their midst, their figures became more simplified, as if constructed out of cones and cylinders made from smooth card. Their clothes, for instance, were devoid of the usual creases and folds, and even their faces under the streetlight appeared to have been created by cleverly placing flat surfaces into complex arrangements to create a sense of contouring.
We kept walking until the noise was all around us. At one point I stopped and reached back for Josie’s arm, but she was no longer behind me. And even though I could hear her voice saying to Rick, ‘There’s Mom over there,’ when I turned to it, I saw neither Josie nor Rick, but a smooth forehead coming towards my own face. Someone pushed my back, though not unkindly, then I heard the Father’s voice, and turning again, I saw him and Miss Helen standing beside a stranger’s elbow. I could hear the Father saying:
‘I didn’t want to say this back there in front of the kids. But Helen, look. It’s all very well calling me a fascist. Call me what you want. But where you’re living now, it may not always remain so peaceful. You hear what happened in this very city last week? I’m not saying you’re in danger right now, but you need to think ahead. When I speak to Chrissie about this, she just shrugs. But you need to think about this. Think ahead about Rick, as much as about yourself.’
‘Oh, but I am thinking ahead, Paul. Why do you suppose we’re here today? Why do you suppose I’m looking left and right for my long-lost lover? I’m thinking ahead, and I’m planning, and if I’ve done so correctly, Rick will soon be elsewhere. And not, I hope, in any community barricading itself with weapons. I mean for Rick to do well, and for that I need Vance’s help. Oh where can he have got to? Perhaps he went to the wrong theater.’
‘Rick’s turned into a fine young man. I hope he’s able to find a path through this mess we’ve bequeathed to his generation. But if things don’t go so well, Helen, either for you or for him, then I want you to get in touch. I can find you both a place within our community.’
‘That’s very sweet of you, Paul. And I’m sorry if I was rude earlier. This might surprise you, but I’m not actually angry about the way we’ve become. If one child has more ability than another, then it’s only right the brighter one gets the opportunities. The responsibilities too. I accept that. But what I won’t accept is that Rick can’t have a decent life. I refuse to accept this world has become so cruel. Rick wasn’t lifted, but he can still go far, do very well.’