Klara and the Sun(46)
‘I believe Rick’s mother was just now wishing to discuss Rick’s education.’
‘Please call me Helen. Yes, that was it. As you see, Rick is reluctant even to raise the topic. About getting you to help, I mean. I suppose I should really ask Chrissie about it first. Or even Josie. I’ve no idea. It’s so unclear, the etiquette. If one was borrowing a vacuum cleaner…But it’s not like that, I know. You must forgive me. What dreadful manners. All Rick needs is a little guidance. I’ve bought the best textbooks for him. They’re from an era before children were lifted and they’re just right for him. But they all assume there’s some sort of tutor lurking around. He has a genuine ability, especially with physics, engineering, that sort of thing, but then he comes across something he doesn’t understand, there’s no one to explain, and that’s when he gets discouraged. I used to tell him to ask Josie, but of course he gets so cross about that.’
‘So Miss Helen wishes me to help Rick with his textbooks?’
‘Just an idea. Those textbooks would be child’s play for you. It’s just to get him through these exams. You see, he really does need to get into Atlas Brookings. It’s his only chance. I wasn’t suggesting anything more long-term. I suppose I really should ask Chrissie first.’
‘If Rick could go to the Atlas Brookings college that would be a good thing. In which case, yes, I’d very much like to assist Rick, so long as it didn’t disturb at all my looking after Josie. Perhaps if Rick resumed his visits, he could sometimes bring his books with him.’
I could see my response hadn’t satisfied Miss Helen. She went on looking at Rick out on the board platform – he hadn’t moved at all – then said:
‘I suppose if I’m honest, that’s not the true issue. Yes, some tutoring would help. But the real obstacle is that for the moment, the way things stand, Rick doesn’t wish to try. If only he’d give it his all, then I know he has such a chance. Especially, you see, since I have a secret weapon to help him. To give him a little extra push, this being Atlas Brookings. But he won’t try, not properly. He won’t try because of me.’
‘Because of you?’
‘He’s convinced himself he can’t go away and leave me here. Of course, I can manage perfectly well. But he likes to pretend I’m quite helpless, likely to get up to all sorts of mischief in his absence.’
‘Is the Atlas Brookings college far away?’
‘A day’s drive. But distance is beside the point. He’s convinced an hour is about as much as he can leave me on my own. Now how will he grow up and go out into the world if he can’t leave me for more than an hour at a time?’
Outside, Rick began to step down the boards towards the grass. He did so slowly, as if daydreaming, and I could tell from the way he kept one arm stiffly to his chest that he was still holding Josie’s drawing. As his head and shoulders descended out of view, Miss Helen went on:
‘What I really wished to ask you, Klara. The real request, the deeper one. Would you ask Josie to try and persuade Rick? She’s the one person who might change his stance. He’s very stubborn, you see, and also – I suspect this – rather afraid. And who can blame him? He knows the world out there won’t be easy. But Josie’s the one capable of getting him to see this differently. Will you speak to her? I know you have a big influence on her. Would you do this for me? Mention it to her not just the once, but over and over, so she’ll exert a real pressure on him?’
‘Of course I’d be pleased to do so. But I believe Josie has already spoken to Rick in just these terms. The current rift between them may in fact have to do with Josie expressing herself too forcefully on this very topic.’
‘That’s interesting to know. If what you say is correct, then it’s more important than ever, what I’m asking you. Josie may feel she has to relent in order for them to make up. She may come to feel she was wrong ever to take the attitude she did. Well, you must speak with her. Tell her she must persevere, never mind what temper tantrums he throws. Is something the matter, dear?’
‘I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m a little surprised.’
‘Oh? Why are you surprised, dear?’
‘Well, I…Frankly, I’m surprised because Miss Helen’s request concerning Rick appears very sincere. I’m surprised someone would desire so much a path that would leave her in loneliness.’
‘And that’s what surprises you?’
‘Yes. Until recently, I didn’t think that humans could choose loneliness. That there were sometimes forces more powerful than the wish to avoid loneliness.’
Miss Helen smiled. ‘You really are a sweet one. You don’t say as much, but I can tell what you’re thinking. A mother’s love for her son. Such a noble thing, to override the dread of loneliness. And you might not be wrong. But let me tell you, there are all kinds of other very good reasons why, in a life like mine, one might prefer loneliness. I’ve often made such a choice in the past. I did so, for instance, rather than stay with Rick’s father. Late father, very sadly, though Rick has no memory of him. Even so, he was for a while my husband, and not an entirely useless one at that. It’s thanks to him we’re able to get by this way, even if we don’t exactly live in splendor. Here’s Rick coming back again. Oh, he’s not. He wishes to stay out there and sulk further.’