Klara and the Sun(43)

‘Trap you?’

‘You must have heard. She’s always doing it now. Either she accuses me of thinking about that stuff too much. Or she’s offended because I don’t think about her enough in that way. Always trapping me, whatever I say. She claims I’m always lusting after these girls I can see on my DS, then the next time she brings it up, and I don’t react, she says there’s something wrong with me, I’m not being natural. She keeps talking about how we knew each other too well when we were children and so the whole sex thing might not even work with us. Whatever I try to say or do, it’s wrong and I get trapped. And the way she goes on about Mum. It’s going too far. Plan or no plan, that’s just not fair.’

He sat down again, the Sun’s pattern falling across him. He placed Josie’s drawing carefully on the sofa space beside him, and though the sheet was face down, kept staring at it.

‘Anyway,’ he said quietly, ‘Josie’s ill now. None of this, our plan, none of it will count if she doesn’t get better soon. And the way it’s going…I don’t know what to think these days.’ He looked up at me. ‘Look, Klara. You’re supposed to be super-intelligent. So what’s your, you know, estimate? How ill is Josie?’

‘I believe, as I’ve said, that Josie’s illness is serious. It’s possible she could become so weak she will have to pass away, just as her sister did. But I believe there’s a way for her to become well again that the adults haven’t yet considered. I believe also that the situation is now urgent and we can’t keep waiting. Even if it seems rude, and taking privacy, it’s perhaps time to be active. I came here today, of course, because of my important errand. But I was also hoping Rick would give me some useful advice.’



‘You’re super-intelligent and I’m an idiot kid who hasn’t even been lifted. But okay. If you want, I’ll try and give you advice. Fire away.’

‘I wish to go across the fields to Mr McBain’s barn. I think Rick has been there at least once. Josie told me about it.’

‘You mean that barn over there? We did go there once when we were pretty young still. Before she got ill. I’ve been there other times since, just on my own. It’s nothing special. A place to sit in the shade if you happen to be taking a walk out there. How’s that going to help Josie?’

‘I shouldn’t confide just now, in case it’s necessarily a secret. I may even be taking things too far simply by going to Mr McBain’s barn. But I feel I must now try.’

‘You want to speak to Mr McBain? About Josie’s health? You’d be lucky to run into him out there. He lives five miles away on his main spread. Hardly ever comes around here these days.’

‘It wasn’t Mr McBain I wished to talk to. But please, I mustn’t confide or we’ll risk the special help Josie may yet receive. All I wish from Rick is some useful advice.’ I turned myself until we were both looking out of the wide window. ‘Please tell me. Is there an informal trail through the grass that will take me to the barn, like the one that brought me here to Rick’s house?’

He rose to his feet and walked to the window. ‘There’s a path of sorts. It’s easier some days than others. As you said yourself, it’s informal. No one keeps it specially cleared or anything. Sometimes you go that way and everything’s overgrown. But if one path’s blocked or soaked, you can usually find another. There’s always some way through, even in the winter.’ He was suddenly looking me up and down, as if regarding me in earnest for the first time. ‘I don’t know much about AFs. So I don’t know how hard it’ll be for you. If you want, I could come with you. If it’s really going to help Josie, though we’re not even speaking just now, I’d be pleased to help.’



‘That’s very kind of Rick. But I think I’d better go alone. As I say, there’s a possibility…’

‘Oh God…’ Rick suddenly turned and moved towards the door.

I’d already been aware of the footsteps moving within the building, but now they were out in the hallway. Then Miss Helen – though I didn’t yet know her name – came into the room. Her gaze moved all around her, but she appeared not to notice me. She had a light coat around her shoulders – the sort office workers wear outdoors – into which she hadn’t yet put her arms, and she clutched at it to stop it slipping as she strode to a wooden trunk under the window ledge.

‘Where could it be? How silly of me.’ She raised the trunk lid and began to go through its contents.

‘Mum, what are you looking for?’

Rick sounded annoyed, as if his mother had broken a rule. He came and stood beside me, and we both watched Miss Helen bending over the box.

‘I know, I know,’ she said. ‘We have a visitor. I’ll attend in just one moment.’

When she straightened to face us, she was holding a shoe, its companion dangling from it on a piece of tangled shoelace.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, now looking directly at me. ‘I have dreadful manners. Welcome.’

‘Thank you.’

‘One never knows how to greet a guest like you. After all, are you a guest at all? Or do I treat you like a vacuum cleaner? I suppose I did as much just now. I’m sorry.’