Kiss My Cupcake(44)

I realize it doesn’t say much about the guys I went out with, but Skylar will fuck a long john if she’s desperate enough. As for Maddy and Matthew, they belong together. They’re both vain, shallow, and entirely too wrapped up in taking staged photos with celebrities and enjoying the perks of the family wealth.

Despite all this, my family generally has good intentions. It’s just their execution is quite lacking. Also, the fact that my mother and her sister swapped husbands is just plain weird.

So, yeah. Thanksgiving dinner is turning out to be a bit of a clusterfuck. Dinner should be served shortly and we can leave right after dessert. I’m still standing in the hallway outside the bathroom. I don’t know that Ronan and I should return to the kitchen together, but I’m not certain he’ll be able to find his way back on his own. There’s also a significant chance that Skylar will be hiding around the corner, ready to pounce on him, so I wait.

Thankfully, dinner is ready to be served when we return and there’s too much commotion and passing of dishes for anyone to comment on our brief disappearance.

Ronan stays glued to my side, palm resting against the small of my back as we make our way to the dining room. Skylar has obviously been in here, tinkering with the seating arrangements because originally Ronan isn’t even sitting next to me, but he switches the name cards around and pulls my chair out.

Maddy makes a joke about being careful, since we like to play musical chairs in this family. I want to sink into the floor and disappear. And they wonder why I never bring dates over to meet the family. Dinner is a decadent affair, as usual. It’s family style instead of plated, but every dish looks like a work of art. The turkey is a deep-fried masterpiece.

My mother, aunt, cousin, and sister are all on some keto bullshit or other so they refuse all carbs or anything that might contain sugar but load up on fried brussels sprouts and whatever other keto-friendly stuff they’ve prepared. There are even cauliflower “mashed potatoes” loaded with cream and butter and lord knows what else. Skylar goes on about how all she had today was her detox tea so she could enjoy her dinner.

My dad, however, samples everything, dissecting the delicacy of the flavors. And beside me, Ronan quietly groans his food lust. “This is unbelievable,” he mumbles through a mouthful of turkey.

“Don’t forget to save room for dessert.” It’s sort of tongue in cheek since half the people at the table balk at dessert. Or there will be some kind of carb-and flavor-free option that tastes like sadness and cardboard.

Every single member of my family has their phone beside their plate and keeps checking messages between bites. “The manager at the LA location of Decadence wants to meet about the New Year menu. Maddy and I are flying out in the morning to hit up the one in San Diego. Do you want me to stop there, too?” Matthew asks my dad.

“That would be great. If you have time, you might want to make the trip to Vegas while you’re out that way. Nora and I are heading to New York, and Glinda and Lawrence, you’re taking the Midwest locations, is that correct?”

“What about me?” Skylar asks.

“We need you here to keep an eye on things.”

“Or I could go to Vegas with Matthew and Maddy. Why do they get to go to all the fun places and I have to hang out here?”

“We can discuss it after dinner, sweetheart,” Lawrence says with a practiced smile.

My parents shift the discussion to which big stars are hiring them for catering over the holidays—it’s always a particularly busy time for them—and it’s like name-dropping central.

“You’ve met Daxton Hughes? That teen actor who became an entertainment lawyer?” Ronan dabs at his mouth before he continues. “My ex in high school used to be in love with him.”

“I have a crush on him now,” my mother replies with a grin.

“He hit on me,” Skylar adds.

“No, honey, you hit on him. It was me he was hitting on.” Gran-Gran Calloway winks in my direction.

The rest of dinner is spent listening to Gran-Gran tell stories about all the famous people she’s met over her lifetime.

Buster brings in the cupcakes I made on a special platter, and of course my mom, aunt, cousin, and sister all have their special keto-friendly dessert brought out. It looks like some kind of chocolate thing served with three berries and a mint leaf, which are on the approved carb list, I guess.

“You’re not going to have one of Blaire’s cupcakes?” Ronan looks dumbfounded. I’d like to say it’s an innocent question, but based on his expression and his tone, it’s not.

I don’t know why he’s so annoyed on my behalf, but I can’t say I don’t appreciate it.

“Too many carbs and far too much sugar. Sugar is more addictive than cocaine, you know,” Skylar says haughtily.

“You would know,” I mutter.

“Well, at least I can’t end up with a deviated septum or psychosis on account of my sugar consumption,” Ronan replies and then asks Buster for one of each cupcake flavor.

Ronan proceeds to inhale all of them while making noises that sound a lot like the ones I’d hear were he naked and I was riding him. And now that image is in my head.

I start to wonder if maybe the ink on his arms spans his back, and possibly his chest as well. In my mind, I decorate the rest of his right arm in more, pretty flowers and the left side in an expansive landscape.