Kian (Undercover Billionaire, #1)(25)

Kian wasn’t normally a patient man on any given day. With Roxie back in his life, his patience and attitude were being tested on a daily basis. The woman needed time to grieve and accept this new reality the two of them had been thrust into together, but he was done with her avoidance, and he was done missing out on his daughter’s life. Enough was enough. He’d driven by her small place several times, stopping often and pounding on her door. She was either very good at hiding, or she was making sure to be gone a lot. Being able to hide in the small community of Edmonds was pretty impressive.

But now, seeing her so casually strolling in the park with his daughter was truly pissing him off. She could run all she wanted, but she could no longer expect not to be chased, not when she had the one thing in his life he wouldn’t give up.

He’d been giving her time to accept what had happened, but because of his damn feelings for Roxie, he’d lost another month in the life of his daughter. He was finished being the nice guy. That obviously hadn’t gotten him anywhere in the past few years. However, he didn’t want to have a public fight, especially in front of his little girl.

When he looked back at Lily, he noticed she seemed to be growing bored with just standing there. She was beginning to fidget in her aunt’s arms, and it appeared as if Roxie was having a difficult time maintaining her hold on the child. His fingers twitched with the need to grab his child.

Though anger flooded him again, he refused to acknowledge it, pushing it deep down inside him. He wasn’t going to get anywhere with Roxie if he was yelling at her, and that certainly wasn’t going to make a good impression in front of his daughter as he tried to get to know her more, tried to work up the courage to tell her who he was and then find an explanation for why he hadn’t been in her life so far, without saying anything bad about her mother.

But the urge to hold her wasn’t going away. He didn’t have to take her. He could be a lot more respectful than that, he decided. Resolve sat firm in his gut as he looked Roxie in the eyes.

“Can I hold her?” he asked. There was so much raw emotion in his voice, he wanted to be able to push it down, but he couldn’t. His words came out practically baring his soul. She could do with that what she wanted. He couldn’t care right now.

“Um . . . okay,” she said after a slight moment of hesitation. She wasn’t letting Lily go, though.

“I’m not going to run off with her,” he told her. At least not at this moment, he added silently. He wasn’t going to promise her he wasn’t going to want custody of his child, but he didn’t need to say that right now. If she remembered anything at all about him, then she should know he was going to raise his daughter.

Kian stepped closer to the two of them, Roxie’s subtle peach scent drifting over him, taking him instantly back to their last night together. He’d never been able to resist her sweet scent. She’d giggled once when he’d told her just that and said that knowing that, she would always make sure to wear something good so she could get her way. As bitter as he was now, he’d think she was wearing the scent on purpose to get to him, but she’d been far too horrified to see him for her to have known they would run into each other today.

He reached out for Lily, and though she looked curious and gave him a little smile, she didn’t let go of her aunt. He wasn’t being too smooth at the moment, and he felt the sting of rejection filter through him.

“Lily, do you want to let Kian hold you?”

Another pang rushed through Kian. Roxie had called him Kian, not referred to him as Lily’s father. He wanted to be Dad, or Daddy. He didn’t want to be Doc, Kian, Mr. Forbes, or any other name.

But his rational mind knew you didn’t just tell a child he was her father out of the blue. It would be easier on her if she knew him, trusted him. But the need to claim her was so strong, he was having a difficult time being rational. And though he was her father, in her eyes he was little more than a stranger. If he rushed this, it wouldn’t go well for either of them, and he couldn’t stand a lifetime of his daughter not trusting him. That thought helped keep him calm, helped him make positive choices.

Kian gave Lily what he hoped was a warm smile and reached for her again. This time she released her aunt and accepted his embrace. He gently pulled her in close and held on, being careful not to clutch her too tightly in his enthusiasm for holding his child.

She buried her sweet little face against his neck, her dark curls tickling his nose. The amount of love and joy he felt was so overwhelming, his eyes stung with the need to free what he was feeling. He closed his lids to keep his feelings to himself, unwilling to give Roxie a glimpse inside his soul. This was a moment between his daughter and him, and Roxie had severed her right to see the real him when she’d left so long ago.

Lily was an unusually delicate child, with small limbs and just the slightest bit of baby fat on her cheeks. He wondered if she was getting enough to eat, if she had warm clothes. He wondered if she had been taken care of. Now that he was holding her, he didn’t know if he’d be capable of letting her go again, of giving her back to her aunt.

He looked over at Roxie, who was closer than appropriate, her fingers twitching. He knew the feeling. His own hands had been aching with the need to hold his child. He imagined Roxie wanted to take her back before he got too attached.

Too late.

He might not turn around and run with her, but the need to do just that was so overwhelming, he had to force himself to calm down. He didn’t want his tension to radiate outward and stress Lily.