Kian (Undercover Billionaire, #1)(18)

She met Kian’s surprised gaze for only a moment before turning away from him and the casket. That wasn’t her sister, and there was no reason to stand there any longer. She cast her gaze over the small crowd of people who’d given her space to do what she needed to do.

That was when she found Sherman standing beneath a large oak tree, cradling Lily as the two of them spoke. Roxie knew for sure she’d fall over if it weren’t for Kian at her side. Later, much later, she might regret leaning so heavily on him in this moment, but for now, he was keeping her grounded.

Her thoughts stopped altogether as she listened to Sherman and Lily.

“Where’s Mommy?” Lily asked.

Sherman’s smile was so kind and full of love, Roxie couldn’t stop her tears or stop her heart from bursting. Lily was a lucky child indeed to have so many people care about her. Maybe the child hadn’t believed Kian and Roxie when they’d explained her mother was gone; maybe she needed to keep hearing it. As painful as it was for Roxie to say it over and over again, she would do whatever it took to help ease her niece’s pain. But for now, she was glad it was Sherman speaking with her.

“She wants to be here with you forever, but she’s been called to help millions of people,” Sherman told her.

“Was I bad?” Lily asked, tears falling down her sweet pink cheeks.

“Oh no, honey, you’ve never been bad,” Sherman assured her. “There are just times in our life we don’t get a choice on where we go or why.”

“I didn’t help, though, when she cried,” Lily said.

Roxie was about to completely lose control. Kian pulled her into his arms and held her as she shook uncontrollably, and he whispered that everything would be okay.

“You did help your mommy,” Sherman insisted. “You stayed safe, and you’ve been so strong. That’s what she needs and wants most.”

“I want a mommy snuggle,” Lily insisted.

“Every time you close your eyes and sleep, your mommy is holding you tight and keeping you safe,” Sherman told her.

“Why can’t she hold me when I’m awake?” Lily asked.

Sherman was quiet for a moment as he searched for the right words. Roxie was grateful Lily was asking him, because she didn’t have the answers and was afraid she’d traumatize Lily even more than she already was.

“If you are really missing your mommy, then all you have to do is close your eyes and picture her arms around you, and she will be right there with you,” Sherman finally said.

“When I open them, will she still be there?” Lily asked with a hope that was tragic.

“She can’t be there when your eyes are open,” he said quietly as he wiped away her tears.

“But she was there in the hospital when I opened my eyes. Then she was gone again,” Lily said.

A chill ran through Roxie at Lily’s statement. She hadn’t said anything about this in the two weeks she’d been in the hospital.

“Maybe she needed to give you love and tell you goodbye for a little while,” Sherman said.

“Is that mean man going to come back?” Lily asked so quietly Roxie nearly missed the words. This time it was a cold chill that traveled down her spine. She felt Kian’s body tense against hers.

“No, honey, we will all keep him away,” Sherman said, his voice still calm, but Roxie could hear the fury running through him, as it was through all of them.

“Okay,” Lily said as she snuggled trustingly closer to Sherman. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“And you won’t be,” he promised.

Both of them were silent as the tears slowly stopped dripping from Lily’s eyes. She looked over Sherman’s shoulder and spotted Roxie and gave her the sweetest smile; Roxie’s knees grew weak again.

“Auntie,” she said, almost on a sigh.

Kian released her so she could step up to Sherman and gratefully take Lily back into her arms. Lily smiled at her as she lifted her tiny hand up and cupped Roxie’s cheek.

“I love you so much,” Roxie told her.

“Love you,” Lily said before leaning forward and kissing Roxie’s cheek.

Roxie looked at Kian, whose face was full of pain as he gazed at Lily. Fear and protectiveness filled Roxie. She couldn’t let Kian take Lily away. They needed each other too much.

“I want to go home,” Roxie said.

“Okay,” Kian said.

The four of them walked silently from the graveyard, and Roxie then thanked Sherman before climbing into Kian’s truck and allowing him to take her and Lily home. It wasn’t far, so she sat in the back and held on tightly to Lily, unable to let her go right now.

Kian walked her up to the door, and she knew he wanted to come in, but she couldn’t take anything else on this day.

“I need you to go now because I can’t discuss anything, Kian. Please give me more time?” she begged.

“How much more?” he asked. It wasn’t easy for Kian to take a vague answer. That much hadn’t changed in the years she’d been without him.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

There was frustration in his eyes, but she had to give him a small amount of credit for the step he took backward, for the space he was allowing her.

“Goodbye for now, Roxie,” he said. His eyes dipped down momentarily to look at her lips, but he jerked his gaze away and said nothing else as he turned and walked away.