Keeper of Crows (Keeper of Crows #1)(42)

He popped a piece of manna in his mouth and chewed. “Not at the moment. Right now, it seems Michael needs me, and that is my current assignment—to help him in any way I can.”

I had to know... “Will he ever be able to leave this place?”

Gabriel’s eyes turned the saddest deep blue I’d ever seen, and I got my answer in the form of that weary indigo. “Not without orders.”

“Can you ask for new orders for him? Do you have a superior, or can you plead on his behalf?”

Gabriel stopped chewing and swallowed. His mouth opened as if he wanted to speak, but couldn’t find the words. “You care for him.”

My face heated at the words. “I do,” I answered sincerely. “I know I’m not supposed to, but I also think it’s wrong that he’s stuck here and has been for so long.”

“It hasn’t been very long, Carmen. Not in the great sense of time. We’ve been alive since before the creation of the universe. We will live forever, unless the Creator decides otherwise.”

“Has the Creator ever done that? Has he ever killed an angel?” A shiver crawled up my spine.

“Lucifer lives,” was his response.

My palm was sweating around the Angel stone, so I released it into my pocket. I didn’t want Michael to get in trouble for my stupid feelings. They were unreliable at best. But I did care that he was here, that he’d lost his wings and gained a murder of crows. He’d done nothing but help me, avenge me, and keep me safe. He was trying to save my mother this very moment. It was hard not to be attracted to someone who would do that, and who looked the way he did.

Gabriel chuckled beneath his breath. “I do the same thing. I save souls every day, but you don’t look at me the same way.”

“I know.”

He smiled and handed me more manna. Mine had already disappeared into my belly. It was delicious. Don’t judge.

“You know you and he can never be, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” My heart sank. Boy, did I ever know. I mean, what girl fell in lust with an archangel?

“Lust?” Gabriel questioned.

“Definitely lust.”

“Are you certain it isn’t love? Love looks different when she first shows her face, from what I’ve seen. Humans are blessed with the ability to love, but angels can’t experience it, Carmen,” he said pointedly.

I chewed my manna, hoping Michael was safe, that his crows were going all gangsta, and that my mother would be returned safely to me and finally get some peace. Love? I wouldn’t know anything about it. No one had ever thought I was worthy of it. I’d seen plenty of lust, though.

Gabriel’s hand stilled on mine. “I have news of your mother. She is safe, but you will only get to see her for a moment,” he said, standing and pulling me up.

“Why? Why only a moment?”

He looked to the sky, searching the gray for something that contrasted. I did the same. A few seconds later, a swirl of birds appeared, traveling quickly toward us.

The crows brought Mom straight to me. Her make-up was heavy and exaggerated, and though it was colorless, it was dark and trashy and nothing my mother would have worn. Her clothes consisted of what looked like a pillowcase with holes at the arms. It was dingy and bore the stains of her imprisonment and mistreatment. I rushed to her, steadying her as she held her head in her hands. “Mom? Are you okay?” Tears rushed down my cheeks.

She raised her head, her big brown eyes locking onto mine. “Carmen?”

“Yes, Mom, it’s me. Are you okay?” I repeated.

“I don’t understand.” She looked around us, bewildered. The river. The trees. The rocks and pebbles beneath her feet. Mom looked at Gabriel and then at the crows, now roosting in the treetops just beyond us.

“I know. It’s hard for me to understand, too.”

She hugged my neck and I squeezed her with all the strength I had, holding her as she sobbed.

“He said I have to leave now,” she said in a tear-soaked voice.

“Who?” I looked over her shoulder at Gabriel. “Where are you taking her?”

“I love you, Carmen. I’m so sorry that he clouded that love for you, and that I let him.”

I held tightly to her, clutching her dark brown hair in my hands. She couldn’t leave if I didn’t let go. She cried against my shoulder.

“I’ll miss you so much. Please remember to follow your heart. You’re the strongest and the only one who can stop him,” she whispered. With that, she straightened, pulling away from me and taking a step backwards, wiping her tears. She looked ten years older than the last time I saw her when she was still alive, still walking the hallway, searching for more liquor to ease the pain that creased her face. But she was herself, her old self, before Malchazze and addiction took the light from her eyes. The light was back. I couldn’t stop staring at it.

When Mom placed her hand in Gabriel’s, he looked at me sadly.

“Mom?”

I could see the apology all over his face, but still didn’t understand what was happening.

“Wait, can’t we have more time?” I yelled to Gabriel.

He turned away from me slowly and led her forward, and then he took a step upward into the air. She followed.

“Mom, stay! Just for a few more minutes. Please!”