In a Book Club Far Away(38)

Adelaide nodded at Sophie’s calming words. In the last two months, Adelaide had begun to see Sophie and Regina as bookends. While Regina was young and idealistic, Sophie brought sage advice and logic.

Still, despite her respect for these women, Adelaide had not told them about her lost pregnancies because that was too intimate, made her too vulnerable.

So she put on a smile despite feeling raw, while the eyes of the group were on her. She didn’t want to be judged or pitied. Nor did she want the group’s mood to plummet with her personal issues. “I know. I’m just glad you’re all here with me. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I definitely don’t know if I would have read this eight-hundred-page book.”

The comment brought on a collective exhale, and they launched into their discussion and talked about life until most of the food was gone and half the kids were asleep on parents’ laps. And while Adelaide was glad the conversation had moved on, it became clearer to her that no one could understand her situation. Every person there was a parent or was going to be one. And even at a welcoming Thanksgiving meal of unlikely friends coming together, Adelaide couldn’t shake the loneliness that surrounded her.





CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Regina




Day After Thanksgiving, 2011

Regina accepted the video chat with a tinge of fear in her heart, and Logan’s face materialized on the screen. He had the camera angled so his normally square jaw was rounded and his left cheek was twice the size of his right. His side of the world looked as if it were filtered with green, probably from the dim light in his trailer. But one thing was clear: he looked exhausted.

Her heart squeezed, and she admonished herself for her initial reaction. She’d spent the last day obsessing over the moment when she’d tell him about the pregnancy, and she’d forgotten that he was clearly a man who had volunteered his life to serve others. He was good. And she had nothing to worry about.

Hope filled her that her announcement would put a smile on his face.

The truth of the moment sank in a little deeper. They were having a baby.

A baby!

Regina knew that she was lucky. Her college best friend had had an accident as a teen and couldn’t have a baby. There were new studies about this thing called PCOS that caused pain and often infertility.

This baby would come from her. This baby would be her bond to the world. And she knew she would be a good mother. Regina would be protective and doting and present.

This baby could be the thing that would finally make her and Logan’s relationship feel real and on solid ground.

“Hey, sweetie,” Regina said, heart heavy with all of her self-talk. Her hand covered the ziplock bag containing the positive test, as if Logan was in the same room and could have peeped into the contents. “You must have gotten my vibe, because I was planning on Skyping you just now.”

He yawned. “I’m headed to bed. I barely made it to my CHU. What’s up? How was today? Feeling better?”

“Yes. Er, and I found out what was making me sick.”

“Yeah?” His eyes wandered above her face, distracted. “Hey, I see lights behind you.”

Regina turned around, to her artificial tree. “I put it up right after Thanksgiving dinner, as usual. I’m hoping to add more ornaments this year.”

“Wanna see my tree?” He turned the camera so it tilted to his bedside table next to the twin bed. His bedsheets were crumpled in the middle, but Regina ignored that big pet peeve of hers. “I just got it today. Along with all the treats and cards you and the neighborhood sent. Tell them thanks. The company loved it. The cards from the kids made some of the soldiers tear up.”

Her face flushed at the natural segue in the conversation. Oh my God, he is going to freak out. “I’m so glad they got there. And um… well… speaking of kids.” She swallowed a breath, wishing that there was a way she could’ve said all of this in person, because it would have been easier. Right now, his attention seemed scattered. On his side of the world, his small TV projected background chatter.

“Yeah?” he asked absentmindedly.

Regina heaved a breath and spit out the words. “I’m pregnant.”

His eyes snapped to hers. “What?”

“I’m… we’re… pregnant.” Except this time, she said it with gusto and a bigger smile, with an enthusiasm that she was sure would transfer across the screen.

He sat up and leaned in toward the screen. “Pregnant, like with a baby?” His face looked bewildered. “You?”

“Me.” Worry rushed up her spine. “I mean, I still have to get a blood test, but I’ve got this.” She showed him the baggie, held it close so the plus sign was right up to the camera’s view.

“I… oh…”

She waited for more. She chewed the inside of her cheek, and counted the seconds that passed. One… two… three…

“I… I thought we were waiting to… and your birth control.”

A niggle of annoyance zinged through her. She intuited the beginning of a fight. “I took my birth control on time. But it isn’t a hundred percent. We were waiting, but we’re not anymore, obviously.”

His mouth fell open, though nothing came out of it.

“Do you have anything else to say?” she said, after several painstaking seconds.