I Was Told It Would Get Easier(32)
Then, having amassed the appropriate mix of rueful/hilarious memories and life experience, I’m supposed to take a job in a field related to my degree, struggle for a few years to perfect my adulting skills, then launch a real career (this can be related to my degree or an interesting change of direction, either is acceptable), get married, have kids, grow old, and push my kids through the whole cycle all over again. This is how capitalism perpetuates itself; I learned it on Khan Academy.
JESSICA
I need more caffeine. Those people are insane.
9
JESSICA
We arrived at American University. I’d tell you all about it, but honestly, you can google it. It’s a university. It’s pretty. I had a headache.
Ignoring Cassidy’s warning, Dani shamelessly flirted with the admissions director, who appeared to be doing his best to get away. She literally had her hand on his arm, and the poor sap was leaning back at an angle of at least forty-five degrees. I looked up their admissions numbers on my phone (yes, I have an app). They got about twenty thousand applicants last year—did Dani really think she could flirt her way into memorability against that kind of overwhelming competition? The poor man looked dazed; Dani’s charm is of the high-wattage-bulb variety. I’ve seen it take down fathers, grandfathers, and teenage boys indiscriminately.
I’m very aware that there are parents who have files on the admissions teams at particular colleges, who work their LinkedIn networks and alumni connections in order to gain any small purchase on the solid wall of incorruptible entry. I can’t play that game. I’m not good at it; I’m more likely to mess it up than help. What if you paid for a library and your kid still didn’t get in? Not to mention the horror of cheating the system and getting caught: Sorry, honey, I didn’t think you could make it on your own, so I bribed someone and now I’m going to jail. I’ll probably get released in time for your wedding. As if the relationship between mothers and teenagers wasn’t hard enough. I text Frances, hoping she’s awake.
“Dani Ackerman is trying to sleep with the admissions director. Do you think I should throw my hat in the ring, too? Do you think it would help?”
There was a pause. “Not sure it would help or hurt.”
“Ouch.”
“No offense. But if Dani is flirting outrageously, which is the only way she does it, then a more subtle approach might be more effective. Cheese of the month club, maybe?”
I grinned and wished Frances had come on the trip; it would have been so much better. My phone rang. Emily looked at me and arched her eyebrow. It’s an unfortunate side effect of busting her hump for being on the phone all the time that every time I’m on my phone she takes the opportunity to bust mine.
“Really?” she said softly. “You left the ringer on?”
I narrowed my eyes at her and stood up to take the call outside. I could see it was the office.
“Hi,” I said, walking over to a bench and sitting. Work calls are rarely short.
“Good morning, Jessica,” said a familiar voice. John thinks his Southern charm makes up for a lot. He’s wrong.
“Good morning, John,” I said. “How can I help you?” I crossed my legs and started bouncing the top one. Cardio for the day.
“Well, Jessica, you can actually help me quite a bit, because Arthur Ostergren is getting rather difficult, and you’re around the corner.”
“I quit, remember? Ostergren was Jackson’s client. It’s international shipping and maritime law. I don’t know anything about it. Can’t someone else deal with it?”
“No,” said John. “And he is your client, because you’re a partner in the firm and all the firm’s clients are your clients. You quit, but you said you wouldn’t make it official until you got back.” He paused. “I scheduled a board call to discuss it, by the way. I’ll do what I can for Valentina.”
“And Janet.”
He sighed. “And Janet.”
I frowned. “Ostergren is in Baltimore.”
“Correct.”
“I’m in Washington, DC.”
“Again, nothing gets past you. Baltimore is less than fifty miles away. Eloise is sending a car now. You’ll be at their offices before lunch.”
I checked my watch. Damn it, he was right.
“But, John, I’m in the middle of something of my own here.”
“I’m sorry, Jessica, but with great power comes great responsibility.” This was a favorite joke of his, usually cracked when he was getting you to do something he didn’t want to do himself. “Call me in ten minutes and I’ll bring you up to speed. I’m giving you back to Eloise now. Give her your location and she’ll sort it all out.” He went away, presumably to go back behind his curtain and work the controls of that giant floating green head.
Eloise, his assistant, politely gathered information from me, and told me a car would be there in fifteen minutes. No one gets angry at Eloise, but she clearly got that I was annoyed, because she apologized for the last-minute notice.
“No problem, Eloise,” I said, “but I need to rejoin the group.”
She assured me it was all in hand, as she had a copy of the tour itinerary (which I hadn’t given her, so that was weird, but Eloise knows everything), and I went back into the lecture room to tell Emily. She was going to be thrilled.