Honeysuckle Summer (The Sweet Magnolias #7)(82)

Her lips curved slightly. “Now who’s being stubborn?”

He managed to pull a carefree grin from somewhere deep inside. “Which makes us a perfect match, if you ask me.”

He walked her to the door, then waited until she’d stepped inside. “I’ll be in touch, Raylene. We’re not over.”

But as he walked slowly back to his car, thinking about just how badly the afternoon had gone, he couldn’t help wondering if he wasn’t deluding himself.



Raylene was a wreck. She hadn’t slept a wink all night, so she was in no mood to spend an hour with Dr. McDaniels rehashing her marriage or even talking about the mess her relationship with Carter was in.

For just one second when he’d kissed her the day before, she’d let herself feel all the emotion and desperation that he’d poured into that kiss. She’d experienced once-familiar sensations…joy, yearning, passion. Oh, how she wanted all that! It had felt almost within her grasp.

And then fear had crowded out all those normal responses. It wasn’t Carter, the man she trusted, holding her. It was another man, whose grasp had been meant to intimidate and hurt. God, was she never going to get past what Paul had done to her?

“You look exhausted,” Dr. McDaniels said when she arrived. “Is everything okay?”

“In my life?” Raylene asked bitterly. “Please. Nothing is okay.”

“Tell me about it,” the psychologist suggested in the patient, cajoling tone that scraped Raylene’s last nerve.

“Why bother?”

“Because if we don’t get to the bottom of things, you’re not going to get better.”

“I am better,” Raylene contradicted, choosing to focus on her recent strides for a change. Maybe she’d come as far as she could.

The doctor lifted a brow. “You’re content to sit on the patio? That’s not the life you told me you wanted.”

Raylene sighed. “No, it’s not,” she agreed.

“Okay, then. Let’s get busy. We’ll try a new approach today,” Dr. McDaniels suggested. “There’s something we’ve never really discussed. Why don’t you tell me about your mother.”

“How very Freudian,” Raylene responded. “Are we going to start blaming everything that’s gone wrong in my life on my parents now? Come on. We both know Paul is responsible for this mess.”

“He’s certainly responsible for the abuse,” the psychologist agreed. “But maybe not for how you’ve handled it.”

Despite her doubts, Raylene couldn’t help being intrigued by the theory. “Meaning?”

“First, humor me. Tell me about your mother. You’ve mentioned she wasn’t supportive when you told her about the abuse, but before that. Was she a good mother? A loving person you could turn to with your problems?”

Raylene had to stop and actually think about the questions. All she could recall was how bitterly her mother had complained for years about being stuck in a nothing little town like Serenity. Compared to Dana Sue, who’d welcomed all of Annie’s friends with warmth, Raylene’s mother hadn’t much wanted anyone around. She’d deliberately isolated herself from most people in town.

“Not really,” she said slowly. “She was fairly self-absorbed. She was miserable with my dad, who was a great guy whose only flaw as far as I could see was that he wouldn’t give in and move to Charleston. My mother hated it here.”

“Why didn’t they divorce?”

“To be honest, I have no idea,” Raylene admitted. “I’m sure they’d have been happier if they had.”

“You never asked your mother about that? Or your dad?”

“No, I think I was always too scared that they would get a divorce. I loved my dad. I was afraid if my mother left him, I’d have to go with her to Charleston.”

“And yet, in the end, that’s exactly where you did go.”

Raylene had never looked at it like that, as if she’d chosen the path her mother wanted but couldn’t have. Ironically, it had been her decision to marry Paul and live in Charleston that had finally allowed her mother to get her way. Her father had agreed to retire and move there, as well. He’d wanted to be there for the grandchildren he’d hoped would come along someday.

“What was it like growing up with a mother who made it so plain she didn’t want to be here, who diminished a world where I assume you were happy?”

Raylene thought back to her childhood. What she remembered most was the tension. It never ended. She could barely recall a time when she’d heard her parents teasing each other or laughing. Instead, there’d been either cold silence or heated fighting. She’d walked on eggshells around them, trying not to make things worse. The only times she’d relaxed had been when she was at school or with Sarah and Annie.

“It was scary,” Raylene said. “I never knew what to expect. The only time I can remember being really happy was when my dad would take me places. We went to Myrtle Beach once and to Walt Disney World another time.”

Dr. McDaniels, usually so good at maintaining a neutral facade, looked startled. “Just you and your dad? Your mother didn’t go?”

Even Raylene was surprised when she realized the oddity of what she’d said. “No, she didn’t go with us.”