Honeysuckle Summer (The Sweet Magnolias #7)(34)

“Hey,” Carter said. “You busy? Has Dr. McDaniels left yet?”

“Since when do you keep track of my appointments with the shrink?” she asked testily.

“You mentioned it when I called last night,” he said carefully. “Are you okay, Raylene?”

“Of course I’m not okay. Haven’t you heard, I’m agoraphobic?” she said, unable to control the bitterness in her voice.

“I’m coming over,” he said at once.

“Don’t,” she said, already regretting snapping at him. Who knew what she’d do or say if he was here when she was in this crummy mood.

Unfortunately, he’d already hung up. She sighed. This was one of those times when she really did wish she could leave the house. Simply pretending she wasn’t home was hardly an option. He’d know better and, being a cop, he probably wouldn’t hesitate to break down a door if he thought there was something wrong.

When the doorbell rang a few minutes later, she resigned herself to seeing him.

“The door’s open,” she called out.

Carter stepped inside, frowning. “You shouldn’t do that,” he said. “I could have been anyone.”

“I saw your cruiser pull into the driveway,” she said defensively. “Even though I’d told you not to come.”

“You sounded upset.”

“A wise man would have picked up on my lousy mood and run for the hills.”

“Well, it sounded to me as if you needed company.”

“Which just proves you’re not as perceptive as you think you are.”

Instead of walking right back out the door, which many men would have done, he regarded her with amusement. “Still trying to run me off?”

She sighed. “It’s not going to work, is it?”

He settled onto the sofa beside her. “Nope, at least not until you tell me what happened to bring on this mood.”

“I thought today was going to be the day,” she admitted.

“The day for what?”

“When I walked through the doorway and back out into the world.”

He nodded with sudden understanding. “And that didn’t happen.”

“Actually, it did. I was outside for two whole minutes.”

His expression brightened. “Then why do you sound so discouraged? That sounds like progress to me.”

“I suppose.”

“Is the doctor discouraged?”

She shook her head.

“She’s the expert,” he reminded her. “Maybe you should let her be the judge of whether you’re making the right kind of progress.”

She frowned at him. “Don’t be all rational and reasonable. Men do that all the time, when women just want sympathy.”

He looked undaunted by the accusation. In fact, he draped an arm over her shoulder and drew her back against his chest. “Hey, I can do sympathy. If you want to cry on my shoulder, be my guest. Just try not to get the uniform too damp. I have to go back to work eventually.”

She chuckled despite herself. “I’d hate to send you out of here all soggy to sit in an air-conditioned cruiser. You’d probably wind up with pneumonia, and I’d have this whole boatload of guilt on top of everything else.”

“Then let’s just sit here like this for a minute,” he suggested, his arm still resting lightly in place.

For a moment Raylene let herself surrender to the comfort he was offering, but then his arm started to feel as if it was imprisoning her. Even though she knew rationally that all he was offering was comfort and that she could break free of his grasp whenever she wanted, she felt herself starting to hyperventilate.

Carter heard her first gasp and released her at once, his expression filled with concern. “Are you okay?” he asked.

The genuine worry in his eyes reassured her, but still she moved away until there was distance between them. She was shaking, but when he reached out to put his hand over hers, she jerked away.

He regarded her with understandable confusion. “Raylene, what just happened here?” he asked quietly.

Feeling like an idiot, she couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze. “I panicked,” she admitted.

“Because I had my arm around you?” he asked, sounding bewildered. Then understanding apparently dawned. “Is this about your marriage? Did you have some kind of flashback to the abuse?”

Tears welling up in her eyes, she nodded. She couldn’t tell, though, if the reaction was to the awful memories or because Carter had understood. She’d never envisioned anyone realizing how powerless she had felt, and he didn’t even know the whole story.

“Maybe you should tell me about your marriage,” he coaxed gently.

She automatically shook her head. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“I can understand not wanting to relive bad memories, but I need to know so I won’t inadvertently do something else to upset you.”

She didn’t want to think about all that ugliness. She wanted it to stay in the past, but it obviously couldn’t be shut away like that. It was very much in this room right now. And Carter was right. If they were going to have any kind of chance, he needed to know about her past.

When she didn’t answer, Carter took the initiative. “He hurt you, didn’t he?” he asked quietly, his voice tight with anger. “A lot.”