Here the Whole Time(63)
“It’s so good to be here with you,” I say, hugging Caio and feeling him float in my arms.
“I think anywhere is good if I’m with you,” he answers, kissing my neck (which, by the way, has just won the spot for favorite place to be kissed).
“Anywhere except a movie theater where they’re playing the third Zombie Robots. We’re not sitting through that again. I’m warning you ahead of time,” I protest.
“I saw in a documentary once that the average person watches about one hundred and fifty very bad movies in their lives. This was our first. There are still a lot ahead of us,” he says.
“Caio, that data makes no sense,” I answer, and my chin starts shivering.
“I just wanted to be cute, leave me alone!” he says, playfully splashing water on my face.
I turn around to dodge the splash, and Caio wraps his arms around my neck to try and steal a kiss. And then it comes to me—the final item on my list. It’s not as revealing as I thought it would be, but I make a mental note so I won’t forget:
15. I like the pool. For a long time, I pretended I didn’t, because I was ashamed of my body. But tonight, floating next to Caio and looking up at the moon above us, I understand what makes me happy when I’m in the water. When I’m here, I feel weightless.
Rafael, writing this book was an incredible journey that would have been way harder without you by my side. Thank you for listening to my drama on nights when everything I wrote felt like one big disaster, for encouraging me and giving me the best ideas, and for always being the first one to listen to a chapter as soon as I was done writing it. Even when it was late and all you wanted was to go to bed or play Pokémon or something. I love you.
Mirian, you are the only mom I have. So all the moms in this book have a little bit of you in them. Thank you for the inspiration that I’m going to carry for the rest of my life, for your unending love and care, and for trying to understand me even on the hardest of days. To my sister, my beautiful nephews, and all my family: You are always on my mind and in my heart. I carry you everywhere, and I hope to one day fill you with pride.
Tassi, when we first met, you told me that the agent’s job is to let the writer write and take care of everything else. You took this statement to a whole new level, taking care of my career, my characters, and my personal crises, showing me every day how good it feels to work with a pro! Thank you for helping me to take Felipe’s story to places I’ve never been.
To Lucas Rocha for sharing this amazing experience of being a Brazilian YA author published in the US for the first time. We’ve celebrated and cried and drank together so many times that it’s hard for me to remember a time in my life when you were not around. Thank you for being such a great friend!
Mayra, thank you for being a loyal and patient friend, who endured me talking endlessly about Felipe’s story from the very beginning, and for listening (literally, over our afternoon coffees where I’d read you the new chapters) to each piece of this story with such enthusiasm. Hearing you laugh as I read made me even more excited to keep going.
To all my friends, for all the love. Thereza, Fogs, Vito, Vinnie, André, Duds, and Davi. Thank you for reading this story and for helping me with the list of possible names for Felipe and Caio’s cat. This story has a little piece of you in it.
Gabi, you were a huge help in writing the story of my life, standing by my side when no one else would. Thank you for being the Becky to my Caio.
Rainbow, thank you for all your support and inspiration. Your books make me feel lucky to be alive right now.
To the Alt team, my Brazilian publisher, you are all wonderful! Veronica, thank you for always believing in my stories and being an editor and a friend at the same time. Sarah, thank you for listening to all my insecurities during the writing process and for always sending me the best replies, such as “Hi, Vitor! The lack of commas in your email made me a little dizzy, but it was perfect to help me understand the drama,” which I PRINTED AND HUNG ON MY WALL (seriously).
Thank you to the Scholastic team for treating my story with so much care and enthusiasm. To my editor, Orlando, for making this possible and for all your kind words and fun tweets; to the untenable concept of fate for putting my book in Orlando’s hands at the right time; and to David Levithan, Baily Crawford, and Josh Berlowitz.
A huge thank you to translator extraordinaire, Larissa Helena, who captured Felipe’s voice perfectly in a new language, and especially for coming up with “asspecialist.” We couldn’t have done it without you!
And, finally, thanks to all the people who fought and are still fighting for the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community. If today I get to publish a book about two boys who fall in love, I owe it all to you. Thank you for never giving up. We’re in this fight together. The whole world is ours.