Heart-Shaped Hack(69)

Picking up dinner. Back soon, baby. xoxo

She’d put the note in her pocket and had reached for it throughout the morning. It had the same effect as Ian’s voice mail message, which she listened to constantly. It only heightened her sorrow, but Kate couldn’t stop reading his words, couldn’t stop rubbing her fingers across the paper. She promised herself that tomorrow she’d leave the note at home.

Helena stuck her head into the back room. “Kate?” Her tone was gentle, the way it always was with Kate now.

She looked up. “Yes?” Her voice sounded raspy and hoarse.

“A client is asking for you.”

“I’ll be right out.”

Everyone at the food pantry had been picking up her slack, Helena especially. Feeling like she wasn’t pulling her weight only contributed to Kate’s sadness and general unhappiness. She needed to work harder on pulling herself together, and she promised herself that she would. It was just that getting through the day felt like wading through quicksand.

There wasn’t time for eyedrops, but Kate smoothed her hands over her hair and tightened her ponytail. Zach Nielsen, the young man who’d been so worried about his younger brother, was waiting for her by her desk.

“Hi, Zach,” she said.

“Hey. My mom wanted me to stop by and say thank you. She’s been so worried about my brother, and she said you really saved us.”

“Please tell her it was my pleasure. We’re happy to help.”

He looked at her curiously, and Kate became painfully aware of her appearance. “Um, are you okay?”

She felt the tears forming again and blinked rapidly as heat flooded her face. Many of Kate’s clients had shed their own tears at the food pantry. They would come to her hungry and destitute, but when they left they would be smiling. They deserved an executive director who was strong and mentally healthy and would take away their troubles and save them from their dire circumstances.

Not a broken woman who looked like she was the one who needed saving most of all.

Mustering a weak smile, she attempted to convince him he was in good hands. “I’m fine,” she said, fooling no one.

“Okay,” he said, looking embarrassed to have caught her in such a personal display of emotion. “I guess I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“Take care, Zach.”



Kate’s shoes kicked up plumes of muddy water as she marched through the puddles left behind by the melting snow. Spring in St. Anthony Main was a dirty, sodden affair, as if Mother Nature’s brushstrokes had come from a palette of gray, black, and white. The pastel colors of spring would not arrive for another month at least, and that’s only if the season arrived on time in Minnesota.

Kate had been staring at the ground and didn’t notice the man until she was halfway up the steps to her building’s front door. Stopping suddenly when she sensed him, she swerved to the left, her arm brushing the fabric of his suit coat. He was leaning against the metal handrail, the same one Ian had once leaned against while waiting for his cab. He looked like he was in his early fifties. His hair was light brown with a sprinkle of gray, and his eyes were blue.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“No problem,” he said, and his smile was kind. “My name is Don Murray. I’m your neighbor, by the way. I’ve seen you in the hallway a couple of times. I dropped off a business card when I moved in. I gave it to the woman who answered your door.”

“You did?” Kate didn’t remember that. He must have come by when her mother was there because Kate rarely received unannounced visitors and hadn’t opened her door to anyone since Ian died. The man fished a card out of his pocket and handed it to her.

“In case you can’t find the other one,” he said. “Let me know if you ever need anything. I’m right down the hall from you.”

“Sure. Thanks” A quick glance at the card revealed his name and phone number, but there was no business listed, no occupation. Kate shoved the card into her pocket. “Sorry, I’m Kate. Kate Watts.” She held out her hand and he shook it.

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” She didn’t want to be rude, but she didn’t have the energy for small talk and her head was pounding. “Well. I’ll see you around.”

“Have a nice day, Kate.”

She made her way up the steps and disappeared into the building.





CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Stuart stopped by the food pantry on what would have been Ian’s thirty-third birthday. Kate was hiding in the back room again, this time under the pretense of doing inventory after experiencing a particularly intense and sudden crying jag, which she feared might recur at any moment. She was momentarily confused when she looked up from the cans she’d been rearranging and noticed him standing there.

“Hi,” he said. Stuart had once spent a considerable amount of time at the food pantry helping to unload food, build shelves, and carry in desks and office equipment. Whatever Kate had needed in the early days of the food pantry, Stuart had been there to lend a hand.

“Hi.”

He approached her slowly, as if she were a wounded animal that might strike out at him, and hugged her. Stuart might not have been the most stimulating man she’d ever known, but she’d once found safety and comfort in his arms and she found it again now.