He Said/She Said(69)

Kit screwed his face up. ‘Yeah . . .’ he said eventually. ‘I’m pretty sure you’re right.’ Of course I was right. I could have sat a test on that trial and aced it. He shrugged. ‘Polglase must have made a mistake.’

I shook my head. ‘Fiona Price would’ve been all over it. So would the judge.’

‘Then Beth’s probably mistaken.’ I couldn’t believe how dismissive he was being. ‘She must have just seen what you saw. All the debris piled up at the side of the road.’

Beth was humming in the toilet; I dropped my voice even further. ‘I don’t think so. Kit, I think she’s lied. Even if she’s wrong about the day, what about the car thing?’ The toilet flushed noisily. ‘I’m going to ask her.’

‘Oh, God,’ said Kit. Finally I had his attention. ‘Don’t set her off. Can we not just have a quiet evening in?’ But I couldn’t let it go. My lie had been built on the conviction that Beth was telling the whole truth. If she hadn’t been, what did that mean for me? I went very cold. She came back, fluffing out her hair. I cleared my throat.

‘Beth, I was just wondering – and it’s probably my mistake, but you know what you just said about seeing that accident?’ She didn’t blush this time but went white; even her lips lost their colour and I realised even before I spoke that I was on to something. That if I set her off, to use Kit’s words, this was going to change things. I had to know, but it took courage to keep talking. ‘It’s, the thing is, it’s just that they said in court that you’d said you came down on the Wednesday, like me, and that you were in a coach, but you just said you were in a car. I just wondered where the mistake was. If it was your mistake or the court’s. Or . . .’ I was in so deep I might as well keep going, ‘If it was a mistake at all.’

She folded her arms. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise I was on trial. Again.’

‘No, don’t be like that, I don’t mean it like that.’ Didn’t I? Suddenly I wasn’t sure. I took a deep breath. ‘Say Jamie’s case does come to a retrial, that’s a discrepancy that could trip you up. I’m trying to help you out here.’ I looked at Kit for back-up but he was looking at the floor, like he wished the pair of us would vanish in a puff of smoke.

‘Ok.’ Beth leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. ‘If you must know, I lied about the day I came down because I didn’t want them to know how I got there. I didn’t get one of the special coaches. I hitched.’

‘You hitched?’ Incredulity made me temporarily blind to how close I was scooting to my own lie.

Kit’s eyes followed our conversation back and forth.

‘Yes.’ Beth opened her eyes; her chin had a defensive tilt to it. ‘Hitch-hiked. I stuck out my thumb and made a sign and eventually people picked me up. I had an old couple take me as far as the Fleet services, then a couple of girls took me to Helston, then a bloke in a Beetle took me right on to the site. I’m still shitting myself that Jamie’s defence might find one of them. I kept expecting to see him every morning in court. I reckon their lawyers have got one of them now.’

I was simultaneously relieved and bewildered. ‘I don’t get what the big deal is, how and when you got there.’

‘Do you really not?’ I shook my head. Beth sat down next to me on the futon and took my hand. I saw a faint black down on her upper lip that I hadn’t noticed before. ‘Because it was obvious to me, even in the first few minutes.’ She nodded at my bookshelves. ‘You of all people, with your Germaine Greer and your Camille Paglia, should know. Even I read the newspapers, I knew what they did to rape victims. If they knew I’d hitched down, they’d have said I had a history of risk-taking behaviour, or worse. I already knew that it was my word against his. And so I thought I’d take away anything that could be construed as asking for it.’

Speech over, she sank into the cushions and waited for me to say something, but I was still trying to process it all. I had seen Beth in the aftermath. She was too traumatised even to tell me her name, let alone think on her feet like this. She took my confusion for doubt.

‘You see?’ Beth threw up her hands. ‘This is why. I knew they’d judge me. You are too.’ She was on her feet, shoving her things into her bag. ‘I’ll leave you guys to it.’

‘Beth, please, don’t go like this,’ I said. Kit glared at me; this was exactly what he wanted: space, until the next legal step, and he didn’t care if this was the price. But I could no more let this go than he could drop his twin. I was part of this story and I needed to understand all of it.

Beth swept her stuff off our mantelpiece into her open handbag – keys, phone, purse – in a bad-tempered flounce, then bent to tie her shoelaces. ‘I’ll be in touch if there’s any news about the appeal,’ she said.

‘Stay for a drink,’ I said desperately, ‘Let’s talk this through.’

‘Talk this through?’ she said. ‘That’s a fucking laugh. Do you have any idea what it’s like, spending all this time with you both and having to constantly bite my tongue?’

My blood banged against my skin. She’s going to say it, I thought in horror. She’s known all along that I lied for her in court and she’s going to tell Kit now. I could tell from his creased face that I hadn’t hidden my horror in time. I got the feeling that he was somehow reading my mind; that he knew how big this could be. I knew that my script read, ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ but I couldn’t risk the answer.