Gods & Monsters(83)

I want to tell him that our treehouse is gone but it’s okay. We still have each other. We will always have each other. I don’t want to care about the people who don’t care about us. Not anymore. It’s exhausting and draining. It defeats the whole purpose of our love. Anger soils its purity.

Nobody matters but us.

I can do this. I can so do this.

But first I need a little fresh air. I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this but I am. I excuse myself from Blu and cut a direct path to the small balcony in the back. Thank God, it’s empty. I don’t want company. I’m going to drag in a few breaths, calm my fluttering heart, and then go back in and ask Abel to leave with me. Then I’m going to kiss him and tell him my plan.

It’s going to be okay.

Just then, the door slides open and the very man I was thinking about stands on the threshold.

“Pixie.”

God, his voice. I heard it just a little while ago when we came to the party but it feels like too long.

“Hey.” I smile at him.

I can’t help but smile at him. For the first time in weeks, things are clear. My mind isn’t foggy. I’m not weighed down.

I’m truly free.

He approaches me. “You’re feeling better?”

I put my arms around his shoulders. “Yes.”

“It was the chocolates, right? They calmed you down.”

“Maybe.” I look at him, trace my fingers over his beautiful face. The slant of his jaw, his high cheekbones, his strong nose. “Remember when you told me that if I hadn’t come to New York with you, you never would’ve made it?”

“Yeah.”

“I never got the chance to tell you that…” I take in a deep breath. “That I wouldn’t have made it either. They were planning to send me to some camp the following day and… I already knew that if something happened, if I couldn’t go with you, I’d kill myself.”

Fury lines his expression and before he can say anything, I go up and kiss him. I kiss him with all the love and the pain in my heart. I only told him this so he’ll know how important he is to me. How vital he is for my own survival. He’s too important to me to see him hurting and angry.

We don’t need the camera or anything else to make us feel better. All we need is each other.

I don’t even want to waste a single second before telling him, making him understand, so I break the kiss and come up for air. Abel’s grabbing on to my waist like he usually does, and it makes me smile as I catch my breath.

Then he licks the side of my neck, making me moan. Desire stirs inside me, so much desire. But I want to tell him first. I want to erase this boundary between him and me, and then we have all the time in the world for this.

“Abel…”

He groans, sucking on my neck and bunching up my dress. My core pulses and I’m so close to giving in but I need to be strong. I need us to come together without any unease in my heart.

“Abel, stop. Wait a second…”

“Come on, Pixie. I don’t care that you’re bleeding. I just need inside you.”

Okay, that’s gross. I don’t tell him that I’m not, in fact, bleeding, but we’ll discuss that later. He’s gotten my dress up to my waist now, baring my lower half, and I clutch his wrist. “Abel, stop. Not right now.”

“Trust me, baby, I can feel it tonight.” He rasps, rocking into me, placing soft kisses on the line of my shoulder traveling down to my exposed breastbone.

“Feel what?”

“That tonight’s the night. I’m gonna breed you tonight.” His cock grows super hard, then. It presses into my stomach, as if pressing into my womb through the layers of clothing and muscles and bones. “Imagine what they’ll say then, huh? Your mom’s gonna lose her shit.”

Suddenly, there’s a roaring inside my ears. My blood’s beating through my veins too rapidly.

Imagine what they’ll say then, huh? Your mom’s gonna lose her shit.

I forgot.

I forgot my pills. I haven’t taken them in days.

How did I forget? How did this happen? How long have we been slipping? Falling apart. With no one to save us.

Just falling.

Oh God, I’m going to throw up. I’m going to throw up because I know it in my bones: I’m pregnant. I can feel it. I know it like I know my own name, which is Evie.

It’s not fucking Pixie.

Abel’s breathing loudly, panting in my neck, pulling the zipper of his jeans down with one hand and with the other, he’s holding my dress around my waist.

“This is our ultimate revenge, Pixie. Me getting you knocked up is our ultimate fuck you.”

Somehow, I get the energy even when my head is spinning and I shove him off. I can’t do this.

“Pixie?”

“I have to go.”

I straighten my dress and try to move away from him but he doesn’t let me. Of course, he doesn’t let me. Of course, he doesn’t give me space. He never gives me space. He’s so big and overpowering that there isn’t any space left.

“What the fuck, Pixie? What’s happening?”

“I want you to let me go,” I say, with gritted teeth. I don’t want to fight in front of the whole world.

A frown mars his forehead. There’s lust in his eyes still. But it’s vanishing by the moment, the brown color emerging. The beautiful brown color that makes me forget everything but him. He clenches his jaw and plants his feet wide. A show of defiance and authority.