Girl Crush(58)

Every time my phone rang, my heart raced with anticipation, only to crash when I realized it wasn’t him. My friends meant well by checking on me constantly, but none of them soothed the emptiness I felt not hearing his voice or seeing his name on my phone. It was irrational, we’d gone days before without talking—hell, we’d never even shared an intimate moment—but all I could think about was what I’d lost in my ploy to gain something different. The grass wasn’t greener on the other side of the fence, it was just AstroTurf someone had laid down to give the illusion of perfection.

My phone rang for the fifteenth time today, and once again, disappointment clouded my judgment when Ronnie’s name appeared on the caller ID.

“Hey, V. What’s up? It’s been at least an hour since we last talked.” If she couldn’t hear the sarcasm and irritation in my voice, then she was a moron.

“You know, most people would appreciate their friends’ concern. Not you. Luckily for you, none of us care what you want because we know what you need.”

I blew on my nails as my latest coat of OPI “Berlin There, Done That” dried, and I listened to my bestie’s plot to fix my life. “And what would that be?” I turned my hand to inspect my polish job, proud of my work.

“Night out on the town.”

“It’s the middle of the week. Where is it you think we’re going?”

“You need to get back out there. Back on the hetero-hunt.”

“I don’t want another male, Ronnie. And I screwed up the only one I had any interest in. Can’t we just let this settle down? It will be easier to suffer alone than to parade around like I’m single and interested.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t get to vote. You can’t sit around moping. Trish is out of town on business, Roma and Stella are working, so it’s just me, Roxie, and Beck.”

“Where’s Amy?”

“I don’t know. Who cares? The point is that it’s just the four of us, and we can have fun. I don’t want to worry about coming to your house and finding you high from nail polish fumes or buried face first in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.”

“They’re really the only men I should bother with at this point.”

“I’ll pick you up at eight. Be ready. If you’re not, I’m just going to drag you out in whatever you have on. That could go all kinds of horribly wrong for you, so don’t fuck with me, Gizzy.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“See you later.”

As promised, Ronnie showed up at eight o’clock. I didn’t do much to get ready. I hadn’t even bothered to freshen up my makeup. Jeans and a fitted T-shirt were as fancy as it was going to get.

“Wow, you’re really not aiming to impress, are you? I don’t remember seeing you this bad off since Mark Mangus junior year.”

“I told you I didn’t want to go out. You insisted. You get what you get.” I shrugged to show my indifference, and she grabbed my hand to pull me to the car.

Inside the vehicle sat my closest girls. It was funny how tight we’d become in a relatively short amount of time. Ronnie and I had known each other since Jesus was a baby, but the others didn’t become part of our tribe until a few months ago…now, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. I’d even developed a liking for their significant others…for the most part. But I had to admit, it was nice to think I was getting the core of our group minus the additions.

They sang out my name in a chorus of welcomes when I slid into the back seat next to Beck. She grabbed my hand with a gentle squeeze and offered me a soft smile. “Hey, girly.”

I placated her with a half-hearted grin, but all I really wanted to do was go back inside, put on my comfies, and veg out in front of the television. If things got really rowdy at home, I could get totally reckless and pick an obnoxious color of OPI to shake things up and make me grin. What I didn’t want to do was drown myself in empty calories at a bar. And regardless of what Ronnie said, dancing and sweating didn’t burn off the toxins or the carbs in each glass.

Ronnie made eye contact with me in the rearview mirror. “Stop being so negative, Gizzy.”

I grimaced in confusion. “I didn’t say anything?”

“You didn’t have to. That vibe is just oozing off you. And, by the way, it’s not attractive. Try to smile. You add ten years to your appearance when you frown.”

The cheap shot at my age was just a low blow to get a rise out of me. I contemplated arguing with her, but the sooner we got this charade over with the sooner I could welcome a hot bath and fuzzy slippers in my own home.

The three of them chatted it up while I stared out the window on our way to who knew where. I didn’t hear much of what they said and only half recognized where we were. This wasn’t a big town, but there were still parts of it that weren’t familiar. I wasn’t aware of any bars or clubs on this side of town, it was primarily residential. I was shocked when Ronnie pulled into a driveway instead of a parking lot.

“Where are we?” I finally piped up.

“We thought we’d do something a little more fun than getting sloppy with people we don’t know on a work night. Plus, you said you weren’t interested in hunting for pig.” Beck was far too excited. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of the car.