Gentleman Nine(33)

Channing returned to the table and handed me a large glass of white wine. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

I was still frantically searching the room when he interrupted me. “Amber, look at me.” His voice sounded even deeper than usual.

The look in his eyes told me something wasn’t right.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” Paranoia started to set in that maybe he’d heard me talking to Annabelle. Oh, no! “Did you follow me here?”

“No. I came to meet you. I know why you’re here, and I have to explain.”

My heart felt like it dropped to my stomach.

He knows why I’m here?

I swallowed. “Excuse me?”

His face was beet red. I’d never seen Channing’s face turn that color in all the years I’d known him. I’d never seen him like this.

“I know you’re here to see Gentleman Nine.”

My stomach was in knots. Hearing that name come out of his mouth freaked me out.

How could this be?

“What…how did you know about that?”

“I need you to understand that I thought I was doing what was best for you.”

The room felt like it was swaying. “What was best for me? I’m so confused right now.”

“I know you are.”

He paused and just looked at me for what felt like a full minute.

“It’s me, Amber. I’m Gentleman Nine.”

What he said registered the wrong way at first. “You’re a prostitute?”

“Fuck, no. That didn’t come out right. Let me explain.”

My ears were pounding. “You’d better explain.”

Channing downed his drink until it was gone. It was some kind of golden brown-colored liquor.

He took a deep breath in and began to explain. “I came home from my Chicago trip while you were in the shower. I went to use your laptop that was sitting on the coffee table, so I could check Facebook. You left your message to him open, and I read it, even though that was clearly wrong of me. Anyway, I freaked out, Amber. I felt like you were making a mistake and that it was my duty to protect you. So, I sent another message pretending to be you and cancelled your original request.”

He what?

“What? You had no right to do that!”

“I know that now. Believe me, I know I crossed a line.”

It was finally totally sinking in. “You canceled the request. Then, wait...who was I talking to?”

“That was me.”

Oh, my God.

“You pretended to be him?”

“Yes. I created an account so you would think you got a response.”

“Why would you do that?”

“It was a stalling mechanism, but it opened up a huge can of worms that I never anticipated. I swear to God…I never meant to hurt you. Please believe that. I only wanted to keep you safe. I just got myself in way too deep, and it spiraled out of control.”

“You wanted to keep me safe by lying to me, putting me in a position where I was comfortable telling you certain things I never would have admitted to you otherwise?” The realization of exactly what this meant came in waves. I covered my mouth in shock. “Oh, my God—some of the things I said about you to...him…to you! I am so mortified. Channing…seriously?”

Channing looked pained. “I never expected you to say those things about me, to talk about your attraction to me. It really caught me off guard…but not in a bad way, Amber. Fuck…in a good way.”

“I can’t believe this,” I whispered under my breath. I took a long sip of my wine then slammed the glass down on the table a little too hard. Thankfully, it didn’t shatter.

“Please, hear me out.” Channing placed his hand on my forearm. Despite my anger, my body still reacted to his touch. “I regret how I handled it,” he said. “It was an erratic decision based on fear. I really thought I was protecting you and just couldn’t handle the thought of you giving yourself to someone who didn’t give two shits about you besides collecting your money. But I know now that I had no right to make that decision for you. Once I took that first step, though, I couldn’t go back. It was like a domino effect. Fuck, Amber, I’m so sorry.”

Taking a few deep breaths, I tried my best to put this in perspective. Channing wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt me. He just made a really poor judgment call. And he didn’t have to fess up at all. He chose to come clean.

“I suppose you could’ve just never admitted it. That would’ve been a lot easier. I respect the fact that you told me, even if I still don’t really understand how you could do this.”

“I never seriously considered not telling you. It crossed my mind, but in the end, I just couldn’t do it. My goal in emailing you like that was to buy more time in the hopes that maybe you’d change your mind and not want to go through with it.”

“Why did you need to come here tonight to tell me the truth? Why couldn’t you have done it at home? Why put me through this?”

“I felt like I needed to face you here, for some reason. I came to a realization last night when I was with Emily. And this time and place seemed appropriate to admit everything to you.”

“Why?”