Gaslight (Crossbreed #4)(89)
I bent down for my glass and handed it to him. “Where are we heading?”
“Canada, so be sure not to pack your bikini.” He rocked with laughter.
“You’re a hoot, Viktor.” I strolled toward the door while he remained by the fire, his laughter slowly dying. “One more thing. Tell Kira to set my place at the table tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
“It’s your rule. Besides, dinner’s cold by the time it makes it to my room. Thanks for giving me time.”
I left the door open and strode down the long hall, passing a few windows that overlooked the courtyard below. I found Christian near one of the windows, his shoulder pressed against the wall as he gazed outside.
“Do you need to go in there next?” I asked.
“Viktor and I already spoke.”
I looked down at my shorts, the cold chill in the hall finally getting to me. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said earlier or implied. What happened to me wasn’t anyone’s fault. Viktor told me what happened. We just got outplayed, that’s all.”
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
I leaned my shoulder on the opposite side of the window and admired the way the light struck his face. Christian had strong bone structure, and sometimes the way he looked at me left me wondering what was going on in that head of his. “If I don’t make myself ready, I’ll never be. This is my life. It’s all I have.”
“It’s not all you have,” he muttered.
“I don’t follow.”
He folded his arms. “I haven’t pressed because I promised I’d let you alone. But seeing as you’re joining the team again, you deserve to know the truth. The man you call your maker has scrubbed your memories.”
A cold chill washed over me. “No, that’s not true. I remember everything about what happened, from the time I was taken to the final day of my rescue. There aren’t any holes.”
“Aye. But what do you remember before that?” He shifted his stance and looked at me with hesitation. “About us?”
“You’re my partner. You’re kind of a dick. What’s there to know?”
He held up his hand. “You don’t remember this ring?”
I shook my head. “Is this some kind of game?”
“You can’t trust him, Raven. I know you think you owe him some kind of favor, but you don’t. Where’s your necklace?”
“I don’t know. I guess with the clothes I left behind. Why?”
Christian pushed off the wall and widened his stance. “I’d wager you traded it to keep your memory of him, but he took something else. Your memories of me.”
“It was just a trinket. Why would he do something like that?”
Christian’s voice was intimate and quiet. “Because that’s what he does, Raven. He takes. What you and I had was a secret that no one here knows about. But he knew, and I’m not about to guess how.”
I lifted my chin and gave him an icy stare. “Are you trying to say that I did some squealing in captivity? Houdini already knew about Keystone, but I didn’t tell him anything else. As for Fletcher, he never learned a damn thing—no matter what he did to me. So get your facts straight. Why the sudden contempt for my maker?”
“He sold you to the devil.”
“He didn’t know who Fletcher was to me. Besides, I’m the one who didn’t want you to buy me back. It worked out better this way. Revisiting my past set my head straight, and I buried a few demons. That’s what Houdini wanted.”
Christian gave a mirthless laugh. “So he did this out of the goodness of his own heart? I’ll be sure to say a blessing for him the next time I’m at mass.”
“I’m not saying I like the guy, but I get where he’s coming from. He had no choice but to sell me to uphold his reputation with buyers, and he took into consideration how I felt about returning to Keystone with a price tag.”
“Is that reality, or is that the reality he wants you to believe?” Christian’s lips thinned beneath his beard. “That insidious little monster is gaslighting you, Raven. He’s changing the way you see things until you can’t tell your ideas from his. You don’t understand a maker’s power. His blood is a part of you—it made you. He left you with memories of him, but he took away memories of us. Think about us at your mother’s grave. Think hard, and when your headache comes, you’ll have your answer.”
When I tried to think about what Christian was referring to, a pain struck my temple like it had done before. “How can I just take your word for it? Sure, we buried the hatchet, but sometimes I wonder if your end wasn’t buried in my back.”
“I can’t prove our relationship. Viktor would have sent us packing.”
My stomach twisted as if snakes were slithering inside. Christian had no reason to lie, and I felt the truth in his words. “Did we have… sex?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. We just had moments, Raven. Moments that are gone.”
Confused, I stared at his shoes and wondered if this might be a game. How much did I really know about Christian Poe? He enjoyed messing with my head, and how could I believe a truth that wasn’t in my own memories? Vampires had undeniable powers, and while something felt amiss, I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what. I tried to think back to when Houdini could have scrubbed me, but nothing came to mind.